John's Blog

11/2/03 Well those of you that know, my b-day was last thursday, Oct. 30, Yup I'm officially 20...well have been for a couple days now. Anyways...My uncles took me on a quick shopping spree at Fry's for my present. They told me to go up to 400 bucks, but, I thought that was a bit excessive, and I don't like feeling like a moocher, so I ended up with about half their offer which is still awesome. Have a new Harddrive, 80 GB, a 256MB flash drive, and a 52xCD r/w drive now.

It feels so...free now that I'm not pushing my old 40 gig limit. now I got an additional 80 gigs to exploit.

Other gifts were mostly cash, and my parent's said they'd get me a lap top...why I don't know, but I'm not complaining.

9/28/03 I have the bestest girlfriend in the world :P
9/16/03 Yeah...things around me seem to have gone reverse. I get a g/f just when two of my buddies break up with theirs. Really screwed up, sorry to hear that guys. Names will stay omitted to the public eye I suppose, but if you ask personally I'm not sure I'll keep quiet. That's just strange if you ask me. Well that was the depressing thought of the night.

Before that I was still pretty ticked off about something that happened earlier. A few of you might have heard me say this before, but I'll reiterate the point. "An arguement is not worthwhile if it doesn't reach a conclusion."

It's kinda been one of those catch phrases, that I use. It really pisses me off when an arguement is a one way street cause the other person is so fucking closeminded that they tone out anything you say. I'm still really pissed about it. Not only was there no conclusion to the arguement, I was very insulted because my beliefs were challenged and the person forced his words to be the last by changing topics. That really pissed me off. The guy doesn't want to hear a word about his beliefs being wrong, and has the goddamn audacity to challenge mine, then refuse me the chance to make any sort of fucking response. It's so fucking selfish and unfair. I'm incredibly insulted that a friend of mine would do that to me.

It's been a very long time since I've gotten this pissed off about something. And it's 2AM right now, and I'm too fucking pissed to sleep. I really feel like I've just been shitted on and I can feel the heat rising off my back from being so pissed off. I'm tired and I want rest, but I'm more than irritated.

I mean, what, he gets to fuck with my thoughts and shit, and I just have to take it? Fuck no. I have viable points that I would like to argue out, I'm not just making shit up to mess with people. The point of an arguement is so that you can learn something from someone. There's obviously disagreement if there's an arguement. Ignoring the problem doesn't fucking make it go away. Arguement is how you solve a disagreement. Got a better method? I'd love to hear it, otherwise, fuckoff, I don't want to hear from you again asshole.

8/24/03 Damn it's been awhile. Guess I've been too busy. Gaming monday, Gaming Tuesday, Gaming Saturday...and work all throughout the holes. Tomorrow, school starts...yay...I mean...WTF am I saying "yay?" Fuck no, this blows, school is starting up again. Blah...I'll be ok...I hope. Year 3 begins. I should push for good grades...I have easy classes this smester I suppose. O well.

In other news...the unthinkable has happened...or will happen. I have a date...coming up...in a couple weeks. Hell hath frozen over. Yeah...fucked up world eh? I don't feel like going into details on here. So IM me for details, and I might decide to talk.

There was something else...I think. Whatever, I'll figure it out later.

8/1/03 Well...I finally what has been happening to my computer when I leave it on for too long. Apparently my settings got messed with...and it had "turn off hard disks after 30 mins of inactivity". So I turned that thing on to "Turn off hard disks after NEVER". So I should be able to leave it on for a bit longer now.

On another note...tomorrow is the first paintball session of the summer. Way too late...we should have been at it alot earlier. But pump sniper rifle...240 bucks...effectively only 180 though. Pretty good deal considered its made by the makes of the Autococker series.

Kelvin forgot he had work on Saturday and isn't coming...so Edrese isn't coming...and I can't sell my PTxtreme for the cash I could use to buy the SniperIII. Nor am I able to find that goddamn hopper addapter.

6/29/03 Just got back from a camping trip. And yeah...kinda disappointing. The trails were boring, no real climb involved, just go up on switch backs instead of actual hills. Not really enough room to forge your own trail as the folliage was a bit too dense. No other points of interest there cept the hiking aspect, which sucked.

Then on the way back, my parents always managed to pull this wierd BS off. Stop at some "historical" site of some-such, often nothing anyone has ever heard of. Apparently there was an old gold mine near-by and some town that went with it. They decided to spend all morning there. After alot of bitching, I convinced them not to visit the goldmine itself.

I mean...what the fuck is a goldmine anyways? Especially one that's been mined out for almost 50 years. It's a fucking cave, that's what it is. A fucking cave, and they want to charge you a shitty entrance fee that you could probably buy a nice steak dinner for. Hm....nice steak dinner, or see a dark cave....and I repeat, it's a fucking cave.

Now if there was gold in there that I could...say take a pick-axe to and get a small chunk, that might be interesting. But no, a mine with no ore left is just a fucking cave, and I came dangerously close to having to go in there for no fucking reason.

Just a reminder, these parents of mine are the same people that dragged the family to a Sugar Cane Museum, while at Hawaii. Yes...Hawaii, to see a Sugar Cane Museum. Fucking brilliant. It's Hawaii, go to the goddamn beach or something. (Note: we didn't go to the beach on that trip)

6/4/03 With Ragnarok going Pay to Play, I've gone back to Diablo 2. Mainly the New Dawn X mod. What I don't get is that, while most companies "hire" beta testers, Gravity decides to "charge" people to beta test. This is just utterly rediculous. And it boggles my mind at how people are willing to subject themselves to 12 bucks a month to play a BETA game. A moderate quality one at that. Rating Ragnarok online on a scale of 1-10 for most gaming qualities:

Atmosphere/Community: 10
This is the most redeeming trait of RO, and the sense of community here is the greatest I've ever seen. People are nice. I met alot of people there who were really cool to hang out with and such. People recognised me after awhile and in general everyone is less hostile towards others. It's very easy to make friends in RO and very hard to make enemies. However, I don't know how that'll change once the PVP gets implemented...as it is still a Beta game.

Gameplay: 5
Fairly sketchy the game moves slowly in general. But the actual actions are well enough to not give the game a below average score. Still though, the controls are a bit annoying at times when you're trying to get from point A to point B, you often walk a zigzagged line, unless you're concentrating pretty hard on making your char go straight.

Graphics: 6
The character and monster sprites are reminicent of good old SNES sprites, however the landscaping is pretty cool. the 3d terrain is very nice and allows you to peek around corners in which you otherwise would have a difficult time around.

Sound: 3
Nothing spectacular at all. Just small .wav files here and there. Infact, when you start fighting, the sound of your hitting something will cut out the sound of running water. There is no sound track to speak of.

Overall Score: 7
While the game and community is good and you will likely overlook the poor sprites and mediocre animations, the game concept moderate and the main thing you will play the game for is the sake of having a good time without getting called "fucking hacker" or "PK bitch". The average score was 6, but I thought the community was so nice that I gave it an extra point. And still...with this in mind I will not pay 12 bucks a month to pay for such a game. There are other pay to play games out there that go for the same amount or less and are probably higher quality.

5/17/03 Went to E3 yesterday...cool shit.
5/13/03 If you go to college, you'll know that there's all sorts of people out there on school grounds, by popular hang outs and well trodden paths, trying to sell you their ideas and such. Well usually I blow past them, but today this one girl like, singled me out and was quite adamant about talking to me about the stand she was at. Some democrat for president.

The motto of the stand was "children of Satan" and they had all of Bush's closest advisors on there. So this girl starts ranting about how our econamy sucks so horribly and we need mag-trains (the trains that run off magnetic power) and stuff to employ our citizens.

I'm trying to discern what this has to do with the "children of Satan", when she suddenly goes off onto something about Nazi Germany and how Fascism worked. And then somehow linked it to the Bush administration. She kept trying to put down contact information for the Democrats and stuff, and this kinda went on in this manner for awhile with her ranting about problems in society and coming back to the same problems whenever I pointed something out.

It kept going for a good 30 min and I got hungry cause I was on my way to lunch at the time. Eventually it boiled down to me saying. "Ok, I understand your points, I'll take some of your fliers to read over during lunch, and I'll be back some other time once I've done all my research on the subject."

I expected a quick "oh ok, I hope you choose our point of view." But no it was far from that, it involved alot of "But all they (being the Bush administration) tell you are lies. You shouldn't listen to what they say. Keep and open mind about this hear, just sign up so we can talk to you later."

Now that was quite hillarious. "Don't listen to them" followed by "Keep an open mind." I quickly pointed out to her that I WAS keeping an open mind, but I was doing it to everyone, not just her, and her organization. Somewhat flustered she said something to the effect of "well you can do your research with these pamphlets we have here."

Now wait just a minute...all this stuff here is YOUR point of view. I need to see the OTHER point of views. I tried to relay that though of mine to her, but apparently there were communication issues and she said something about how they had all the research done there...Man and I thought she was speaking perfect english.

Then I started talking to one of the other guys at the stand who had a similar fanatacism, but was able to control it better. He still insisted that the Bush administration was Fascist-Imperialist, and they were liars, but he was able to understand the "I need to hear all points of view" thing much better than the girl. But he still raved for another 20 mins about how hearing the lies from the "other point of view" would do me no good and that I should listen to his "truth".

Needless to say the hypocrasy and self-rightious fanatacism was getting on my nerves. I ended up politely excusing myself with a few of their articles which I read and trashed during lunch.

5/1/03 sigh...alotta posts here recently by me. Guess it's good that I've got something to talk about. Anyways, here's the deal. In my online crowd theres this one person that seems to have this serious case of hate for the the guys or something. To her all guys are chauvinistic perverts, or most guys to say the leasts. And for whatever reason she decides to number me amongst them. (Go ahead and tell me if you think I'm a chauvinist...if I get enough responses I'll open up a poll). I don't like it. People tell me just to accept it because "that's the way she is and you can't expect to change people."

Anyways. When hit with an insult, I will quickly return it aslong as my wit is about me. That's just the way I am. It's the way I've worked for however long. With the guys we fling insults and jokes back and forth with very little regard.

The funny thing is that whenever I come back with something to say, her response is "I'm having a bad day" then signs off, only to sign back on a few minutes later. How childish. How much like elementary school kids who can't stay mad at each other because they've already forgotten they were mad at each other in the first place.

But the real kicker I have to say is the bottom line of "if you can't take what you dish out, then don't dish it out." It holds doubly true when dealing with me because my insults are entirely based around what I'm hit with before hand.

It often only takes a single phrase to piss this one off though. Last night I only needed a few words to make her sign off. If you want to know if I feel bad about pissing someone off like this. The answer is HELL NO. Quite the contrary since I'm having alot of fun doing it. I've found that most people can't handle their own poisons, and there is little that pleases me more than fielding an insult and immediately hurling it back. Of all the insults I administer on a daily basis, these are the best ones in my opinion. Strange...I don't even remember what it was I said last night to piss her off.

Oh well, I'm sure I can come up with something else if the situation arises. Besides...I try to come up with something new to say instead of the same old crap.

4/29/03 After much careful thought over the years, I've come to a few conclusions. Life. The meaning of it? The meaning of it is based on what you give it. For a religous person, the meaning of life is usually written out in your religion's doctrines. Typically the goal for a religious person is Heaven or some sort of Nirvana where they can be eternally happy.

However, I don't follow any religion. That has always been something that's bothers me a bit. On how illogical religion is, and yet how everyone seems to need some sort of it to guide them. So in essence it is logical. But for a non-religious person like myself, there is no designated direction...no pot of gold at the end of the road. As much fun as such an ending to my story would be, it's simply sounds too cliché to me.

So what then is my goal in life? Easy...it's a very basic thing that everyone strives for: "Happiness". Happiness for me is having a good time and living semi-comfortably. Which brings me to the point: What do I need to be happy? What brings me the most enjoyment in life? Simple, my friends and my gaming. Perhaps it's somewhat of an immature goal, but never-the-less it is what I derive the most pleasure from in Life.

Mayhaps if I had a girlfriend, she would certainly make her way onto that list of things that would make me happy. However, that's not the case. Any woman that wants to change that fact is welcome to try, but obviously I give no garuntees.

So in conclusion my primary drives in life are friends and games; everything else is secondary. My game is my life, to be successful, I only need to have fun.

4/20/03 It's been awhile, and there's been something I've been reluctant to talk about...mainly cause it'd make me sound like some homocidal maniac. Anyways...here goes:

This has occurred on several occassions when I'm doing dishes after dinner. When I have that big butcher knife or razor sharp steak knife in hand, I think about the person washing dishes with me and wonder what my life would be like without them...like...what would happen if I hacked/slashed them to death suddenly. Ok...I scare myself with that thought afterawhile, but for the first few moments it's pure curiousity at the outcome of what my life would be if I made that action. The thought of how easy, or how difficult it would be to accomplish the task also crosses my mind. Is there something really wrong with me? Or do other people have similar thoughts too...perhaps dreams in which you kill a sibling or a parent? I haven't had dreams...only the thoughts when they turn their back to me while putting something away...and I have that sharp object well within reach.

I'll speak no more of this for now. Perhaps a later date.

3/23/03 "Fiery protest Flames engulf an Athens policeman after a gasoline bomb was thrown during a March 21 anti-war demonstration outside the U.S. embassy. More than 200,000 people took part in the protest." -MSNBC website.

yeah...I don't think I need to say anything about the complete hypocracy of this act. Just...yeah...now I need to find some anti-war protesters to humilliate...well, further humilliate seeing as how they're the laughing stock of america right now.

sure X amount of hippies and morons gathered in some major city in America to protest. But how many other people are here in America NOT protesting. Yeah...larger than X? I thought so.

3/16/03 Well that was very disturbing. I opened up an email from a friend and it turned out to be a chain letter. How dumb are those things? Furthermore, how dumb are the people who respond in the fashion requested? I mean first off, it's chain mail...do I need to say anymore on how low it is on the list of things that matter? Secondly, the chainmail is usually filled with some shit about some made up person probably who had something good happen to him after sending the chainmail out to millions of people.

Well...that's great, with probability, there's bound to be 1 or 2 people who had something good happen to them...what you don't hear about is the guy who got SHAFTED...BRUTALLY after sending it. Why? Because he's not there to tell you about it, and the proprieters of the chain mail wouldn't want you to see that anyways.

In short, people who make these chain letters have no life and deserve to be shot, and people who respond to the letters for the purpose of praying something good would happen to them deserve a kick in the face...for every person they send it to.

3/3/03 Ok todays rant is on SaveNow. It's a little backdoor fucker of a program that weasels it's way onto your computer through some wares that you download. I recently got the piece of shit through the new version of Kazaa. Right now, for windows users hit Ctr+Alt+Del and to get to your task manager. Now under the processes look for a "Save.exe" See it? If no, good you haven't been hit. If yes, go right ahead and hit the end process button and end the shitter's runtime! Next, go to your control panel and open up "add/remove programs". Find that son of a bitch as "SaveNow" it should have a green dollar icon. Remove the useless heap of spyware code.

On a completely different tangent, LEARN TO PARK YOUR CAR STRAIGHT AND IN THE LINES!!!!! Some fucker was on the lines and crooked. He had about 2 feet of space on the other side of his car. I had trouble getting out of my car I swear. I didn't mean to key your car! It was a tight squeeze to get out and I still had my keys in hand, honest!

If you didn't get that last part, yes I did key his car, mine was so close to it I just dragged the sharp edge of my wrench (yes I have a small wrench on my keychain if you didn't know) along the asshole's car as I got out of and into mine. Hope that fucker goes home and cries about getting a new paint job. I could care less about teaching a lesson to the moron. After all I get to key a car.

2/25/03 ok ok, so I'm low on virtual memory....time to upgrade. But I need cash...I guess i'll go ahead and update my virus scanner and do my usual routine. Scan, defrag, scan. Hopefully that'll free up some space and let my comp run smoother.

But if I still get problems, it'll be time to boost my CPU and RAM. 2GHZ would probably do me just fine 512 RAM would be plenty. But for now...scan defrag scan sounds like something I should do...heck I should probably clean out my MP3s...all 1200+ of them. I really need to get rid of some of those songs. Stuff I'd prefer not to mention I ever bothered DLing.

2/24/03 Lunch with Joey and Amy (the first girl I was talking about yesterday, I forgot to mention her name in my excitement). Anyways...lunch was interesting, she fit right in with us...even with Joey...who seems to have a disposition towards white people.

Aside from that...saw Lily again in Econ and History. Made some wisecracks on Marcos, when he complained about a headache, namely hangover and weed smoking jokes.

Hm...what else was there? I coulda swore there was something else I was gonna talk about today. Ahh fuck it. I'll write it later, after I'm done with my 241 HW.

Appending today's entry:::

Right right, I was reminded by Joey, that I promised another rant on Blogs today. First off, why the hell is it called a 'Blog'? www.webster.com says "The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the Dictionary search box to the right." Hm...so maybe www.dictionary.com? They said "No entry found for blog." Guess not...so why the fuck is it called a blog?

Joey did some research for me and pulled this outta his ass: (Screen names are not shown)


Joey: hey justin, what does blog stand for?
Justin: weblog
Justin: say it fast enough
Justin: and you'll be saying blog
Joey: i see.
Justin: actually i pulled that out of my ass
Justin: but yeah, blog comes from weblog

So there you have it folks. That's why it's called a 'blog'. It started as 'web log'...then people forgot to hit the space bar and it became 'weblog'. And finally, some dumbass came up with the idea of getting rid of the 'we' and calling em 'blogs'.

2/23/03 Would you look at those weaklings out there that need a 'blog' website? How pathetic? How sad? But me...I have the knowledge and POWER! It doesn't look like much now, but soon it will be superior to all your wussy premade POS blogs!! Ahem well anyways, thus ends my blog rant on blogs.

anyways...making tons of friends on last week. Lotsa stuff. Let's start from the top...
First off, there's this one chick I met. Apparently she's in 2 of my classes, Math270B and CSPS241. 270B is my last MWF class and 241 is my only Tues/Thurs class. So I see her every day of the week. Both classes end at about 12-12:30. Yeah...kinda creepy on the coincidence. But she's nice. Probably one of the most down to earth people I've met. Kinda cute. Probably older than me by a good 2-3 years atleast. Hm...but I do have to find a way to ask about her ring. Yes she wears a pretty fancy one, but in all our little chats before class, in class, after class, and during lunch, she never once mentioned a fiance or husband....nor a signifigant other for that matter. She has taken the time to mention family though. So for all I know it could be a family heirloom. Probably shouldn't jump to conclusions, but speculation is ok right? Well I gotta find a way to ask about the ring without sounding too strange. Anyways, moving on now.

Friday I was walking to my History class from Econ...and I notice this one girl following me up the steps to University Hall. Hell, she followed me into class. Apparently she's in both my classes, so I get to see her for 2 hours straight. Turns out she wanted some help with Econ terms and stuff since we just had our first exam. Got her name, Lily, and not much else. And WTF is it with asian girls named "Lily"? Can asian parent's not think of anything new? And "Jenifer" my sister has like...6-7 friends named "Jenifer" and I personally know 2-3 "Jenifers" myself. Crikey!

Last person. On my list, it's a he and not a she, so seeing as how it's not important anymore, I'll skip him....JK.

anyways last person is Sean (great...another person who has the name Sean, that makes 2...and goddamn it rhymes with my name!). Some guy I ran into at Tea Zone. Senior at CSUF and decided to join the ROTC program to see what it was like. I shared my 1 semester ROTC experience with him, and we talked for a bit. Turns out he live about 10 min from me. Right by Tustin Marketplace. Invited me to go play Basketball with him sometime and traded cell numbers.

so recap...met 3 people...2 girls, 1 guy...got all the names...and 1 phonenumber...the guy's phonenumber...goddamn I suck. And please...No gay jokes.

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