conversation with myself I loved you once
I look in the mirror, sullen thing.
So full of myself.
I lean in closer and stare
into my own eyes
as if I could watch
my own brain back there.
You could've, you should've.
You can't and you won't.
I push back a stray strand of hair.
No point in living,
too scared to die.
Or maybe you don't really care.
I loved you once,
I tell my reflection.
I thought you could be something too.
The girl in the mirror looks back
"No, you didn't"
And I know that what she says is true.

Ode to the Voices in My Head
You think, I think I can do this to me?
I'm sick of your/my expectations.
And if this isn't good enough,
if my words aren't true
Then fuck you.

Block
And the more I try to write
the scarier it is to fill these blank white pages

Mass
I can't bring myself to follow you into church
the smell of incense and my own anxiety
lines of people waiting for heaven
staring at my good black shoes on the carpet
and the way the candle flames dance
despite the cold, dry air
The priest wears crisp, white robes
I hear him talking, though I don't listen
He chants soothingly about salvation
And like a snake charmer
coaxes thin green bills from peoples pockets

Bitter
I loved you
but you don't remember me
I want you
ten minutes after you're gone
but you wont turn back around
I used to like you
I used to want you
Now I try to forget you
Ten minutes after I'm dead
What can you give me for the pain?
Rip my skin.
And bleed the hurt inside
what can you give me for the pain?
I used to like you
I used to fucking love you
I used to think I wanted you
And now I fucking hate you.
And ten minutes after I'm dead
you wont feel a thing.

Untitled
They tell me I'm a perfectionist.
And sometimes you know
it's hard to filter self esteem
through Muses' blood
and idle dreams.

It's hard to take your
hopes and fly
With sand-filled eyes
and broken wings.

...But I try.