I was really bored once, and thought I'd make a lil parody of The Cat in the Hat (by your friend and mine, the late Dr. Suess). I got the idea because I drew a cat that would go perfectly with the story. Anyway, maybe one day when I'm even more bored I'll finish it. Not that you care, but here's what I got so far...

The sun had long set
'twas the end of the day
I sat with my guitar
I had nothing to play
Yes I sat in my room
My dog was there too
and I said "How I wish we had something to do"

The sun had long set
'twas the end of the day
So I sat in my room
and on my bed I lay
When all of a sudden
just through my door like that
I looked and I saw him
The cat in the hat

"No need to be bored
no need to be sad"
Said the cat in the hat
(I thought I'd gone mad)
"Why we can have lots of fun
you wait and see
You'll have lots of fun
with a cool cat like me."

"I've brought some music
to just get things started
We'll party all night
until I've departed
I've also brought beer
though you're too young to drink
that didn't stop you before"
He said with a wink

I heard a whip crack
and so I turned my head
to find two naked strangers
having sex on my bed
One was wearing a leash
one was holding a chain
The girl licked her lips
and the guy begged for pain.

A little freaked out
and disgusted indeed
I complained to the cat
(who was smoking some weed)
I said "Get out of here cat
I don't want you around"
Then I kicked at some drunk
who'd passed out on the ground.

The cat said "Don't you worry"
and he extended his hand.
In his palm was some substance
that looked like white sand.
"Just you take some of this"
he said with a smirk.
"Don't try to be happy
let drugs do the work."