Sent Renee an Email....this is it (edited just a little)
Ok, ok. Like I said I don't want to sound stupid and I'm not sure how to explain, but I'll try. Hmm....take the movie for example. I know its just a movie and all. But, the characters lived their lives. When they had highs, they were really high, when they had lows they were really low. They didn't stay stuck in the house, all safe. They did almost anything they wanted when they wanted. I don't want to grow up doing something I hate for the rest of my life because I need the money. I don't want to be stuck in some cubical 8 hours a day just so I can have a house and food. It's like, you need that stuff to live, but is that really living? I don't want to die, knowing that I never took any chances, that I was always safe because I lived in fear of everything. I know a lot of people say that and end up doing it anyway. But I think it would kill me, I really do. Some people want safety and nine to five jobs, and SOMEONE has to be the computer programmer, the banker, the secretary. But not me, I can't see myself living like that. I've spent too long already living in monotony, with school and all. Doing the same thing over and over until I'm sick of it. That depresses me, and it's not something I want to be conditioned into ever. Fear and regret don't get you anywhere in life. The only big fear I have right now is that I will get stuck in an office somewhere. But it won't happen if I don't let it right? "I hope I die before I get old" isn't that a line of some song? So I guess more or less thats what I'm trying to say. If it made any sense at all...

Back