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The Darkness of Wanting

 

In the silence my mind races

Going to places it shouldn’t, trying to capture memories

Creating new visions to consume

While I wait for him

 

If love is a friend then it’s the enemy within

Making you face the edge of insanity

The sharp blade of truth bleeding you slowly

Weak from the letting I lie in silence staring into darkness

 

Closing my eyes feeling the waves of emotions

Twisted up inside aching for what I once had

Reaching for it …straining only to have it side step me

I watch as a Cheshire cat-like smile disappears into darkness

 

Control was something that once was mine

Lost in submission to the one I love

Feeling as if I dance upon the end of strings

Being pulled apart until I scream within

 

In the middle of the night as dreams invade my reality

He sets upon his throne in darkness

Only a silhouette whose eyes glow in the blackness

Beckoning me to come closer

 

I shake my head in defiance

Hearing Him say in a throaty growl…you will submit

Kneel before me, you know you will in the end..why fight

Slowly I feel myself lower to one knee..eyes lowered

 

At that moment his hand reaches towards my chest

A sharp talon slices upon my flesh and pulls my heart out before me

This is mine to hold and keep …remember that

I look into the emptiness where once beat my heart

 

Dull aching starts and spreads thru my body

If you want this back he laughs you’ll submit

I beg him please…don’t take the only thing I have

He laughs manically …this is love

 

I wake up in a cold sweat

Looking at the empty place next to me

A tear runs down my cheek

Yes this is love I whisper and pull the covers close and cry

 

Now I sit looking out the window

The cold of winter filling my sight

Thinking of the time he will arrive

Hoping that will warm my heart

 

Until then the cold, darkness of the night

Will keep me company as I sleep

The silence will be my lullaby

As he whispers in my dreams