A Stud and A Babe
"A Stud and A Babe" from the musical I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change
By Joe DiPietro

(This is a GREAT duet. This shows such a variety in vocals and it's really not that difficult. I'd recommend the girl be a soprano and the guy be more of a tenor, but that doesn't mean an alto or bass can't pull it off because I've seen it done. The characters do transitions from nerds to hotties, you can figure out where in the text.)

GUY: Did I mention that I just had my phone fixed?

GIRL: Really?

GUY: Yes.

GIRL: Ohhh.

GUY: Yup.

GIRL: Wow.

GUY: Yup.

GIRL: Oh! I just remembered the cutest story about my brother!

GUY: What?

GIRL: No, maybe not.

GUY: No, come on, come on!

GIRL: Ok, my brother, this is really cute...

GUY: Yeah?

GIRL: My brother, he has eleven toes!

I sit here trying to impress
and make this guy awestruck.
But every subject I address makes me sound
like such a schmuck.

GUY: It's not that I can't be diverting,
sometimes I can even thrill.
But I'd just be so much better at flirting
if I only had looks that kill.
If I were a stud...

GIRL: If I were a babe...

GUY: The kind of guy girls love.

GIRL: The kind of girl, guys crave.
My breasts would be rounder.

GUY: My pecs would astound her.

GIRL: My legs would be longer.

GUY: My arms would be stronger.

GIRL: My locks would be flowing.

GUY: My chest hair would be showing.

GIRL: My hips would be slimer.

GUY: My butt would just simmer.

BOTH: Oh oh oh

GIRL: I'm going to go up and seduce him.

BOTH: Oh oh oh

GUY: She'll be begging me for more.

BOTH: Oh oh oh

GIRL: Ya, tonight I'm gonna goose him.

GUY: Tonight I'm gonna score, yeah! A stud.

GIRL: A babe.

GUY: She'll love.

GIRL: He'll crave.

BOTH: Oh oh oh... If I were a...

GUY: So, Julie, baby, BABY!

GIRL: Talk to me sweet meat.

GUY: You, uh, you have some nacho schmutz on your face there.

GIRL: Gone?

GUY: You, uh, wiped it to the other side...
oh, now it's on your chin.
Julie, be honest,
I don't have a lot of what you're looking for do I?

GIRL: No, no it's me.

GUY: Julie, I'm not a stud.

GIRL: I'm not a babe.

GUY: I'm not a guy girls love.

GIRL: Well, I'm not a girl guys crave.

GUY: Really?

GIRL: I'm awkward and whiney.

GUY: My biceps are tiny.

GIRL: I'm not too athletic.

GUY: My clothes are synthetic!

GIRL: My nails are all chewed on.

GUY: My hair is all glued on.

GIRL: My hips are real dumpy.

GUY: Well, mine are real lumpy.

BOTH: Oh oh oh

GIRL: Every night I'm always snorting.

BOTH: Oh oh oh

GUY: Yeah my feet can really stink.

BOTH: Oh oh oh

GIRL: Yeah, I'm wholly abhoring.

GUY: Well, let me buy you one more drink!

GIRL: Yeah!

GUY: No stud!

GIRL: No babe!

GUY: I love.

GIRL: I crave.

BOTH: Oh oh oh,
oh oh oh oh oh oh,
oh oh oh oh ohhhhhh!!

For more info about this musical and to hear midi files of the song, click here

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