Vampires How to Take Care of a Vampire

How to Take Care of a Vampire

The vampire myth is widespread, and details vary from place to place. Here's a handy list, courtesy of Cecil Adams' The Straight Dope:

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VAMPIRE DISPOSAL METHODS, BY COUNTRY OF ORIGIN

SPECIES	COUNTRY	APPROVED METHOD OF DISPOSAL
Sampiro	Albania	Stake through heart
Nachtzehrer	Bavaria	Place coin in mouth, decapitate with ax
Ogoljen	Bohemia	Bury at crossroads
Krvoijac	Bulgaria	Chain to grave with wild roses
Kathakano	Crete	Boil head in vinegar
Brukulaco	Greece	Cut off and burn head
Vampir	Hungary	Stake through heart, nail through temple
Dearg-dul	Ireland	Pile stones on grave
Vryolakas	Macedonia	Pour boiling oil on, drive nail through navel
Upier	Poland	Bury face downwards
Gierach	Prussia	Put poppy seeds in grave
Strigoiul	Rumania	Remove heart, cut in two; garlic in mouth, nail in head
Vlkoslak	Serbia	Cut off toes, drive nail through neck
Neuntoter	Saxony	Lemon in mouth
Vampiro	Spain	No known remedy

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Keep a copy of this in your wallet (I do). When confronted with a suspected vampire, ask to see his passport (if it shows a birthdate in the eighteenth century, so much the better). Cross reference the place of birth with the chart. Wait until the daylight, when the vampire is dormant, and take him out with the suggested method. BEFORE STARTING THIS OR ANY OTHER VAMPIRE ERADICATION PROGRAM, CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR.

Brian "van Helsing" Scearce

from: http://www.skeptictank.org/vamp2.htm

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How to Take Care of a Vampire

SPECIES

COUNTRY

APPROVED METHOD OF DISPOSAL