Lesbians want girl sex, simple as that, nothing else need be said.

A typical butch lesbian walks around trying to be all big and bad, but will stop in the middle of the road and correct you, in her indignant voice, she is a woman god damn it, why can't everyone just see that? She also wants lesbian sex. That would resemble the butch lesbians that are around here.

And then there are the Butches, who honestly and truly believe that they are the third gender in the spectrum, and the StoneButches.

The Butch is a female born person who many have stated were born with two souls in the same body, or as others have said were born into the right type of body for their sexual needs, but in a time period when their gender has not been discovered yet. These people enjoy what is referred to by many as lesbian sex, but do not feel it with the same emotion as their Femme lovers do, they state that they love the physical touch and that their bodies respond naturally, and also that their Butchness is never threatened by this physical interaction in any way. Butches usually identify with what i and many others call "Butch pronouns" which are very different than male pronouns. Hy, hym, hys, and some say hir.

A StoneButch is not any more masculine or "butch" than the Butches, but they are a different type of Butch. They have needs and desires that can at times be much different than those of the Butches. This specific type of Butch will not ask or desire to be touched by their Femmes in the ways in which they ask and desire to touch said Femme. It is not forbidden, it is just not what they need or desire. They would rather forget their biological makeup, but they wouldn't change what they have for the most part as they do not want to be male, even tho most have given it thought at least once in their lives.

In my thinking (from talking to many true Butches and StoneButches trying to get into their heads) i have come up with a few ideas from what i have learned. A Butch does not wish to be a male, but is not threatened by being mistaken for one. Physical characteristics have something to do with who we define as Butch, but looking butch doesn't make you Butch. Butch is something on the inside that no one can see, it comes from the person's soul. Length of hair, body size, and the possibility of feminine characteristics is something the unaware out there will consider when defining Butch, because they are not looking for Butch, they are looking for what they feel is the image of Butch from the eye's view, instead of from the heart. I mistakenly said once that you can tell a Butch from any other by the way hy responds in certain situations, i don't think that is true anymore as a person's personality does not make them one thing or another. A Butch glows with a specific energy that comes naturally from deep in their soul, it is not something they try to show ("putting on the Butch") when they are in the company of other Butches or Femmes, regardless of their personalities, like most butch lesbians do, it just comes from them as naturally as breathing.

What makes a Butch? Energy, soul and passion maybe.

Many people say that TransButches and StoneButches are one in the same. But are they really? I think not. From what i see in that, a TransButch is preparing for a transition into changing their gender to male, and that is not necessarily what is happening with a StoneButch who is simply embracing their masculinity, as it is where they feel home, tho some StoneButches may eventually begin the transition as the TransButches have. This can be really complicated, because as you may know there are so many different things to be factored into these places in a person's life.

I have a very good friend who considers herself StoneButch and she went round and round with another friend of mine who considered himself StoneButch. Andrea i would consider Butch because she will when in the mood let her lover give her back what she has given sexually. She has so much Butch energy, she also packs, but in my opinion she is not StoneButch. Martini was as masculine as any Butch could be. He lived his life in the male world, but did not want to take testosterone because he didn't want it to change who he was. He was one the the most giving, caring and sexual people i know. Tho he would not allow his lover to touch him in the same manner as he touched her, he received great pleasure in the love making as he made it his own. He is what i consider extreme Stone.

There are also packing Butches. Oh geez, they are in there too. Hmmm... but aren't they StoneButches? No, they are Butches or StoneButches who pack. They may pack all the time, or part of the time. Some Butches are packing Butches but do not consider themselves to be StoneButches, because they don't pack 24/7 and/or they have different needs sexually that what they feel the StoneButches need. And there are StoneButches who do not pack 24/7, and some not at all. How very confusing even to those "in the know" if you aren't paying attention.

Most Butches are not out to prove to you and whomever gets close to you that they are in charge in their relationship, like it seems to me the butch lesbians are. To me, a Butch has the gentlest of souls. Maybe because their life is such a struggle at times they wish to show the Femme who they are with that they truly do appreciate her love and companionship. They don't expect their Femmes to worship them like the butch lesbians seem to, even tho said Femmes do indeed worship them.

Butch lesbians have their own kind of energy. It seems that they are more lost in a power trip and role designation that the Butches and StoneButches are not. There was a time when i wouldn't have totally dismissed a butch lesbian as a potential partner if their personality was good and there was some kind of connection between us, but i thought it would have to be a great personality and alot more for them to have attracted me to the butch lesbian. I don't feel that way anymore as they are too much woman for this Femme. I was never being true to myself when i ventured into those thoughts on relationship needs.

Alot of how some people define themselves is from what they have heard around and how they see themselves placed in certain categories, but the facts are that you are either Butch or you are not.

If you really want to know how i feel, i would say that there is nothing wrong with "lesbian" sex if that is what one desires. I know what it feels like for my body to be touched intimately, and for those who desire that with someone who is not feminine, they ought to seek a butch lesbian or a Butch to give them those wonderful pleasures.

Butch lesbians can be quite complicated at times. Some seem to be more "bisexual" than the bisexual femmes out there in our rainbow community as they are attracted to the Butches as well as feminine women. Sadly they seem to be so different from the Butches. A Butch would be appalled to know that another boi had desirous thoughts about hym, feeling that it was just sick and wrong for that other Butch to feel that way. A Butch has the desire for feminine women and dreams that she will be a true Femme and know hys needs without having to have them explained. Butches are so special, like rare gems. One thing i do have to say about butch lesbians tho is that they are much easier to read than a Butch. Maybe it is because they are more predictible. They put on their act and you just know what is coming next for them in whatever scene they happen to be in, because they think that being Butch is all some kind of show, and it is definately not... it is a way of life.

(written 3 September 2001... edited as needed after)

I know that my take on the Butch is short, but i have recently discovered that i had to rethink this whole idea of what Butch was to me. I used to think that the Butch had to be the hero and the one who fixed everything, emotionally and physically. The one who held up strong and nothing bothered them as long as they had their sweet little Femme there to distract them. But i was so off the mark. I forgot about the human being behind the identity who hurts, fights off the indignities of their lives that cannot be changed, and moves past things some could never even think about getting past.