BT.
You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Quick Facts:
Full Name is Blessed
Trinity Catholic High School. Full
initials almost spell out an obscene word (BTCHS), which is why they shorten it
to BT.
Our mascot would have been a Moose, if the administration
had any respect for the democratic process.
Despite being the popular candidate, Moose did not even appear on the
ballot for the vote. So now we’re the Titans.
Odd that a Catholic school should have a pagan mascot.
Opened 2000-2001
school year. We
had almost 3% of the student body
expelled that year. No one can keep track of how many have been kicked out
since then.
We have both a Jack Daniels and a Johnnie Walker.
We do have uniforms (if the school is so worried about
fornication, they should have never put the girls in skirts. It only makes it easier).
Most watched
video in classrooms: Jesus Christ Superstar. Runner-up:
That “Caesar must have been a very sexy man” tape.
Various
unofficial school maxims:
“Because we’re just that desperate to impress no one in
particular!” --BT’s
motto.
“Why
strive for excellence when adequacy is good enough?” --Student creed.
“To err
is human. To forgive is not our policy.”
--Student handbook regarding the
discipline procedure.
“No
provocative clothing, including but not limited to: shorts, short skirts, short
shirts, tight shirts, sheer shirts, low-cut shirts, low-ride pants, tight
pants, baggy pants. No inappropriate
footwear, including but not limited to: open-heel shoes, open-toe shoes,
sandals, beach shoes, flip-flops.
Further unsuitable attire includes clothing with advertisements, brand
names, or anything fashionable whatsoever.”
--Out of uniform dress code
Lots
of excellent quotes from various classes:
Chemistry
Nick: “Dimensional analysis is like the circle of
life!”
Mike:
“Nobody tell her we got smart. Play
dumb.”
Ms. McDaniel (regarding a side conversation about
beer):
“I don’t like where this conversation is going.”
Mike: “We’re in Chemistry Honors. You should have known we’re all a bunch of
drunks.”
Max (regarding how painful paintball can
be): “Pain
is just the effect of weakness leaving the body!”
Waldman’s (accidental)
Law of Conservation: Math can neither be
created nor destroyed.
Max: “Funny, the only thing Chemistry Honors class is missing
is the honor.”
Max (after Roberto walks in): “Is it
hot in here or is it just Roberto?”
Ms. McDaniel (when beginning thermochemisty unit): “When
I say ‘calorie’, what do you think of?”
All the girls: “Fat.”
Kristen:
“Nice story. Now tell it backwards.”
Whitney:
“I got sunburned on just one side of my face.”
Kristen:
“That sounds like a personal problem to me.”
Allison: “We just finished watching Jesus of Nazareth
in Religion last period. I so predicted
that ending.”
Whitney: “Your hair looks kinky today Kristen.”
John: “I don’t think kinky means what you think it
means.”
Lauren:
“Inconceivable!”
Me: “Chemistry class is hell, but actual fire’s not
allowed, so she’s torturing us slowly by sublimation.”
CPR/First Aid
Coach K: “So what are some clues that might indicate an emergency
here at school?”
Ed: “Blood dripping from the ceiling.”
History
Mr. Findlay: “What’s Chow Mein, Will?”
Will: “Dog food?”
Mr. Findlay: “There’s a scene
in this movie where they show some S&M and Stalin’s butt for a few
seconds. It’s educational. You’ll like it.”
Mr. Findlay: “The KGB would
drag you out in the cold and shoot you and leave your body in the snow and ice
to be found 300 years later as some Secret Agent Conspirator Man.”
Latin
Jack: “Did you see Planet of the Apes? Wasn’t it just like Spartacus?”
Ms. Belmonte: “Pygmalion was rich, handsome, intelligent,
and quiet when his Latin teacher was speaking.”
Mike: “Please don’t make us do no more grammar.”
Eric: “As you can see, the earth could easily fit in just one
side of Walsh’s nose.”
Mike: “Pollen. I hate pollen. Tree sperm!”
??: “Vergil was a
poet and he didn’t know it. Or he might
have suspected.”
??: “Squid pro quo.”
Religion
Mr. Kiefer: “You’re annoying the hell out of
me.”
Jacob: “But isn’t that a good thing?”
Mr. Odish: “There are two
types of evil…”
Josh: “Good and bad?”
Geometry
Seen on the board after tests were returned:
“1st
period test grades:
Everyone: 95+
J. Domville: 62”
English
Jacob: “I don’t wear boxers. I wear panties.”
Misc.
Mrs. Dever in
the hallway:
“You look like you’re having too much fun. You know that’s not allowed here.”
Natasha: “But you don’t
feel hot.”
Me: “Well maybe I’m
endothermic. Did anyone ever think of
that!?”
Me: “You’re not the
one that has to deal with the crushing reality of out-of-uniform day!”
Puella.
Preoccupied
since 1986.
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