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Welcome to English Class

This sub-category of my page is dedicated to the English language, and all of its moronic misspellings and mispronounciations. The idiocy of American-speak far surpasses that of any and/or all languages previous, save for Spanish, which is simply a rip off from American-Speak. The categories include the folowing:



In honor of this correction's page, I shall write as much text that I possibly can in Phonetics. Always remember: HOOKT ON FONIX WURKT FOR MEE!

Idiotic Sayings

  • "You're Welcome"-- Didja evar wunder y wen u say Thank u, pepol respond with "You're Welcome"? I still kan't figur out the signifiganse of this as it applys to us today. What xactlee is it that u r welcum to?

  • "Have a Nice Day"-- This clich'e saying which is absentmindly thrown at u wenever u purchass sumthing frum a conveniance stor iz very irratating to me. Wat air-headed valley gurl decided to make this the apropreate frase to utter whence upon I leave her companee, aftur picking up a hot dawg and a few kandee bars? "Have a nice day..." -"NO!! Maybe I've had 162 nice days in a row. Maybe I'm about ready for a crappy day. What are you going to do about it? Just try and stop me!"

  • "I found it, but it was in the last place I looked"--WELL OV COURSE IT WAS!! THAT IS THE PURPOSS OF LOOKING!... To find the object u're searching for, then to stop searching. If u havn't found wat u're looking for... u keep looking. Otherwise, u stop!

  • "God Damn It!"-- This has to be one of the most pathetic and stupid phrases man has ever had the misfortune to carry into the 20th century. I doubt very seriously that when you drop a hammer on your foot, or slam your hand in a car door or something, screaming "God Damn It" is going to help you. God is far too busy up in heaven creating quasiuniverses, and making light and what not, to get off his cloud, and waste his time by condemning a hammer to eternal flames, or cursing the door of your truck to rot in a pit of boiling oil.

  • "Pre-Recorded"--"This Program was pre-recorded" Well ov course it was! That's the hole purposs of recording, to do it beforehand! Otherwise it doesn't really work now does it?


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Mispronunciations

  • Aluminum: Al u min e um
  • Laboratory: Lab or ah tor ee
  • Caterpillar: Cat er pil lar :P
  • herb: HERB!! NOT ERB!
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Misspellings

  • phonics: fonix
  • cat: Kat
  • through: thru
  • of:ov
  • (Dan) Quail: POTATOE!!!

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The greatest assininity is that we do not even use the "English"
language. We made up our own words from a jumble of other words from
Germany, Latin, Scandinavia, France, and a number of other places and
sources. Not to mention our numerical system is that of the rag-heads
(Arabic). A little knowledge tu part'e.

    Get out of my english class!!! go back to the home page!