"When I die, you stay away from my funeral!" - Squidward, Just One Bite
"Liar liar, plants for hire!" - Patrick, Life Of Crime
"I'm the baby, I'm the baby!" - Patrick, Grandma's Kisses
"He only liked me for my shorts!" - Patrick, Dumped
"Woof" - Gary, Opposite Day
"We''re not ugly, we just stink!" - Spongebob, Something Smells
"I have checks with little poodles on them." - Man Ray, Mermaidman And Barnacleboy III
"Yeah Squidward, the pelvic woo!" - Patrick, Bubblestand
"I want ice cream!" - Patrick, a lot of episodes
"This working out thing isn't working out." - Spongebob, Musclebob Buffpants
"Heart of stick must die!" - Patrick, Valentine's Day
"This is my lab, and this is my laboratory!" - Plankton, Plankton!
"Gary, you are going to finish your dessert, and you are gonna like it!" - Spongebob, Dying For Pie
"Y'know, these were white when I bought 'em." - Patrick, The Fry Cook Games
"Hey Patrick, how the *dolphin sound* are ya!" - Spongebob, Sailor Mouth
"Are you gonna listen to a big dummy, or me!" - Patrick, Hooky
"My best friend, and my ex-best friend, and...rubber bath toys!" - Spongebob, Naughty Nautical Neighbor
"A SECRET STRING!" - Patrick, The Secret Box
"Why are you wearing that ski mask, cause your not skiing!" - Spongebob, No Free Rides
"Help...can't open...mayonnaise!" - Spongebob, Mermaidman And Barnacleboy II
"Listen up you villian, I want to finish my meatloaf!" - Mermaidman, Mermaidman And Barnacleboy
"That looked like Squidward also, in angry mob form!" - Spongebob, Squidville
"I'm going to go in there, march straight to the manager, look him straight in the eye, lay down the line, and I can't do this!" - Spongebob, Help Wanted
Spongebob: "I'm ready! I'm ready!"
Spongebob: "Bring it around town!"
Spongebob: "Oh, barnacles!"
Spongebob: "Gary, you are gonna finish your dessert, and you are gonna like it!"
Spongebob: "Squidward, you're steaming. You're like a steamed vegetable, only smarter!"
Spongebob: "Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets!"
Spongebob: "I anything can't do right since because pickles!"
Spongebob: "Can't have dirty garbage!"
Spongebob: "No, Gary. I like wearing my underwear like this!"
Spongebob: "You wont believe what I found in my sock last night! Go ahead, guess!"
Spongebob: "Oh well, I guess I'm not wearing any pants today!"
Spongebob: "My lips are a little dry..."
Spongebob: "Don't worry, tomorrow we'll be back for more frolic and fun."
Spongebob: "Did I? Did I Patrick? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me into stealing the balloon?"
Spongebob: "The sky had a baby from my cereal box!"
Spongebob: "And now, giant piles of bubble gum?? what next???"
Spongebob: "You know, if I were to die right now, in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend...well, that would just be ok."
Spongebob: "Ahhh! Help, Gary! Prince of Neptune! I closed the window on my head!"
Spongebob: "SOAP...SOAP...WHAT IS SOAP?"
Spongebob: "Moss always points to civilization."
Spongebob: "Oh my god! A floating shopping list! Ahhh!"
Spongebob: "Somebody call the police! There's a pants thief on the loose!"
Squidward: "This city needs to be destroyed!!! Or at least painted another color."
Squidward: "Oh! I didn't realize it was happy hopping moron day!"
Squidward: "Next I suppose you'll want me to go square-dancing with Patrick!"
Squidward: "That's it, I'm getting off the loony express."
Mr. Krabs: "That's no reason to go ripping people's heads off, boy."
Mr. Krabs: "I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly."
Mr. Krabs: "The boy cries you a sweater of tears...and you kill him."
Mr. Krabs: "Either you (a) put the dime in me pants, (b) put the dime in me pants, or (c) put the dime in me pants!"
Patrick: "I know a lot about head injuries...belieeeve me!"
Patrick: "Dumb people are just blissfully unaware of how very dumb they are (as he drools)."
Patrick: "MY NAME'S NOT RICK!"
Patrick: "I can't see my forehead!"
Patrick: "I'm Squidward! I'm Squidward! I'm Squidward Squidward Squidward!"
Patrick: "I wumbo, you wumbo, he she we wumbo, wumboing, wumbology, they study of wumbo...come on Spongebob, this is first grade!"
Patrick: "Stupid inflatable pants!"
Patrick: *Sandy's song ends* "Do you think she knows the muffin man song?"
Patrick: "You mean they're taking the thoughts we think we thought and making them thoughts we think we thought... I think."
Patrick: "My ice cream! It's alive!"
Patrick: *Spongebob blows a bubble in the shape of an elephant* "Hehehe! It's a giraffe!"
Patrick: "We'd better do what he says, he knows how to grow food."
Patrick: *with candy on his mouth* "All right! Which one of you flatfoots stole my lollypop?" *spongebob, the cops, and patrick laugh* "I mean it!"
Sandy: "Stupidity isn't a virus... but it sure is spreadin' like one!"
Pearl: *sob* "He washed my flipper!"
Plankton: "That naive cube!"
Plankton: "That's it Mister! You just lost your brain privileges!"
Plankton: "Holographic meatloaf! My favorite!"
Sandy: "You're nuttin' but pure evil, just like the newspaper comics!"
Announcer at the Frycook Games: "Toasted Almonds? That's unexpected!"
Random Fish Kid: "I had 4 biscuits and then I ate one. Then I only had 3!"
*a baloon pops, the 2 try to put it back together* Spongebob: "I've got the pieces!"
Patrick: "I've got the air!"
Plankton: "Do you know what I'd really like for my birthday?"
Spongebob: "A booster seat?"
Plankton: "A booster seat? HOT DOG! ...I mean...no."
Patrick: "Are you Squidward?"
Random Guy: "No."
*Few seconds later*
Patrick: "Are you Squidward now?"
Same Guy: "NO!!"
Patrick: "Are you Squidward?"
Fire Hydrant: " "
Patrick: "That's ok, take your time."
Squidward: "Has anyone ever played an instrument before?"
*Patrick's hand goes up*
Patrick:" Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
Squidward: "No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument."
*Patrick's hand goes up again*
Squidward: "No Patrick, horseradish is not an instrument either."
*Patrick's hand goes down*
Spongebob: "I won't stop for a little...EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION!!! AHHH!!"
Mrs. Puff: "Looks like that got rid of him!"
Squidward is playing his clarinet (so it sounds really loud and horrible) when there is a knock at the door, he answers it, and there is a doctor standing there.
Doctor: "Yeah, uhh...I'm with the pet hospital down the street and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises..."
Squidward: *SLAM* (door closes)
Squidward: "People talk loud when they want to sound smart, right?"
Spongebob: "Look at all that warm, toasty fur."
Patrick: "It's like a gold mine ...but with fur."