The Ngak is lazy as all of its devotees' files were wiped out when the webmistress was otherwise preoccupied with life and other disasters. They're backed up somewhere, but that would involve coaxing an antique computing system to give them up. And she has no time to suffer the slings and arrows of her rotten-lemon-laptop's manic depression. But we digress.
You seek satisfaction. You come in search of The Truth. But you will also accept momentary diversions! That is why we like YOU! How about proof that the webmistress has a life?
