MYSPACE
Mood:  bright
Topic: Whatever
I've actually started keeping up with my myspace page! Check it out to stay in touch!

MYSPACE

Leaving Florida in the dust!
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: "Closer"- Nine Inch Nails
Topic: Whatever
This is officially my last week in Florida...will I miss it? I don't think so. There's nothing here that has a hold on me. I've done everything I can think of, but I will miss the theme parks. Gotta love Universal Studios, man! And I rode Sheikra at Busch gardens...totally AWESOME!!!! At least I'll have a six flags nearby in South Carolina, and I'll be close to Charleston.

So, I think one of my friends from UE, Murlo, and FSU might be taking over for me here. John Beeby is coming down to Lakeland tonight and he'll interview for the position tomorrow. I kinda hope he takes the job, 'cause the kids will really like him. We're so much alike.

Jodi wants me to try E-Harmony, but I don't know. Any opinions out there? I think y'all know I have trust issues with guys. I mean, after all, look at the relationships I've had..Not exactly the best, huh? Plus there was that whole Rick fiasco...stil need therapy to deal with that. Who knows, maybe my gambit look-alike teaching partner will turn out to be something...If I can actually get over my barriers. Jodi, come out here and get me drunk!!! I need it!!!

Random thoughts of the day:

1) 8th graders were put on this planet for the sole purpose of torturing me!
2) Maybe parapsycology is a field for me?
3) Death isn't the worst part of life, it's what dies inside us while we live.
4) Why me?
5) People think I'm innocent, but you should know better!

NEW JOB
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: "The Joker"-Steve Miller Band
Topic: Whatever

So I accepted the job at Spartanburg today. I recieved an offer from San Antonio, but it was for less money and it was an all boys' Catholic school. Needless to say, Spartanburg was the better option at this time.

Who knows...maybe Gambit/Keith/History teacher will turn into something. He's already offered to show me around the town!

Now comes the difficult job of telling my current boss that I'm leaving and finding a house. It'll be a summer of tough choices, huh!

Well, until the next trilling edition.

Later, comrades!

Life Is Good
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: "You Won"- Keith Urban :(
Topic: Whatever

Hey everyone! Yep...I'm optomistic today!

I just came back from two interviews and the school in Orlando offered me the position right away...cool, huh? Oh the choices....

Each school has its advantages and disadvantages...

Orlando: Cool location, plenty to do, lots of bars and theme parks, big money; expensive city, still far from everyone

South Carolina: Small school, lots of freedom, can teach archaeology, good money, in the mountains, close to Charleston...a history teacher that looks like Gambit's twin!!!!! BIG PLUS....SINGLE!!!!

Anyway...HELP!!! What should I do?

Survey Results
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: "I'm Taking the Wheel"- SHeDaisey
Topic: Whatever


Wow...I just took some online surveys and you won't believe the results...

I am David! I am the walking mouth. I'm book smart, but no so street smart (and I'm kinda uptight), but only at first. I am well brought up and have a family (I'm always looking out for my little brother) But the longer I am with the Newsies, the stronger and more independent I become. I use my brain and eventually, gain respect. Which Newsie are you?...Quiz by Dara.

You are Gambit!

You are a fierce fighter and a good friend to have. Your preference for solitude and your attractiveness make you very intriguing to those you meet. Unfortunately, close relationships are few and far between for you because you often have trouble opening up to others.


YEP!!!! I'm Gambit!!!! I LOVE LIFE!!!! See! We're meant for each other! Ahhhhhhh!!!!

Off to South Carolina
Mood:  suave
Now Playing: "What Hurts the Most"- Rascal Flatts
Topic: Whatever

So I'm off the South Carolina tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing the countryside up there, but I'm not very excited about the long drive. Maybe something good will come out of this, though.

I also had a parents' meeting for the Australia, New Zealand, and Fiji tour tonight. You know...It's kinda crazy when even the parents think you're nuts! God...why do they like me? They need some help, man!

Well, I'll write some more later!

Toodles!

Randomness Continues!
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: "Something More"- Sugarland
Topic: Whatever

Hey everyone out there! ... There are people out there, right? .... (silence)... Mmmmm....

Okay.... Well, I'm going to start rammbling like always regardless of an audience! Since when did I actually need anyone around in order to voice my opinions? That's right! I talk to myself all the time...Ha!

Before I go all out into the dark realm of my mind, I just wanted to let everyone know that I've started interviewing for other Latin positions. I have an interview this week in South Carolina and another in Orlando. I've had several phone interviews for Texas, but I'd kinda like San Antonio. We'll see what happens! Wish me luck!

So the topic of randomness I've decided to tread down this week is...Archaeology pick up lines!

1) I'd like to excavate your mounds.
2) So wanna get down and dirty?
3) I'd like to calibrate your curves.
4) Is that a trowel in your pocket or...?
5) I'll make your plumb bob!
6) May I trace your stratigraphy?
7) Let's pretend you're C-14 so I can date you.
8) Shall we see if we can find a join?

Yeah...yeah...I know! Hey, I couldn't help myself!

I got the greatest commpliment from my students today. They said I'm the most random person they have ever met! YAY!!! God, I love to blow their minds!

So here's a final thought going along with the topic above...

Archaeologist: a person whose career is in ruins!

Hey!...Hey!...Stay away from me! AGGGG!

I HAVE LOST MY MIND
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: "Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me"- Warren Zevon
Topic: Whatever

SO here we are...a fine Tuesday afternoon, enjoying what life has given us. Now, I must ask, is it at all possible for someone to completely lose their mind yet still function under the pretense of sanity? Wouldn't the total lack of sanity negate the very chance of pretense? How can one attempt sanity if they have lost the very essence? Why do I bring this up, you may ask? I belive I have lost my mind entirely, yet am able to convince people around me that I'm still here.

Proof of my insanity....you want PROOF!!!

1) After barely surviving the last trip, I've started planning the next one to Australia with maybe 50 or more students!!!

2) I can't remember dates or even my name for that matter at times...

3) I'm considering working at a catholic boy school...YIPES!

4) I'm still deeply in love a with a comic character


There are more examples, but I'll save you the details. Suffice it to say, I think I'm nuts.

On to other matters...

While on the Europe trip, my friend, AP, began forming a list she liked to call "Things I've Learned From Kristen"...Here is a small, yet humurous sample:

1) Ice can be an aphrodisiac
2) When you fall madly in love with one of your professors...DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
3) Don't fall asleep with a room full of friends who have cameras and markers and know who you secretly love

Ahhhh...college memories....

Oh my Giddy Aunt! Look at the time...I need to get to class and teach some 8th graders something....What exactly, I don't really know yet...but it WIL came to me!

Catch ya on the flip side!

Kris

After the Fact
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Born on the Bayou- CCR
Topic: Whatever
I survived the London, Paris, Rome trip with my students! Can you believe it? I can't... I think I aged 10 years on this trip, at least. I'd like to thank my dear friend AP for all her help...keeping me as sane as possible.

I'm a little too tired still to be my usual insane self, so I'll keep this short and write more later this week...maybe even post some photos...Oooohhhhh!

Later folks!

Kris

Beware of the Ides of March!
Mood:  special
Now Playing: "Born on the Bayou"- CCR
Topic: Whatever

Being the Latin teacher I am, how could I not post something for this special day? Yes...today in 44B.C. the man known as Julius Caesar was assassinated near the theater of Pompey. Even today, people mourn his passing and honor the man by sending flowers to the spot of his funeral pyre.

Not going to rammble much tonight. I may start posting some of my drawings, but I haven't decided where yet. I might get a deviantart account. We'll see. I'll keep y'all posted!

See ya!

Kris

Can't Help Myself!
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: "You Won"- Keith Urban


I couldn't help myself...I just feel the need for more random thoughts! Let the insanity in!!! Mwhahahahaha!!!!

First of all, I just have to say that I got the best phone call over the weekend. I have a new EF tour consultant and it's a guy. Let me just say...WOW! He's obviously from the south with a voice as smooth as honey, accent as thick as the Mississippi mud, and as sexy as a sole saxaphone serenade under a New Orleans street lamp. Anyways...yep...great voice!

On with the show...

Things I've learned at home:

1) There are no pants in the known world that will hide my father's butt crack!
2)Cow dung can and will act like quicksand in the summer
3) Hay lofts are not the best place to tell small children horror stories
4) You cannot 'tip' a cow, but you can get a cow tipsy
5) My parents will hire me out to the highest bidder
6) Never correct your father, even if you're right
7)'Gifts' come with strings attached
8) If you sing and dance around a pile of burning rufuse, your grandfather will magically appear
9) If you want to chase your evil cousins away, pretend to become possessed by a psycotic squirrel from HELL
10)No matter how curious you are, do NOT look in your Grandparent's cellar!
11) There is no smell in the world worse than baby pig smell!
12) In a town of 642 people, anyone who ventured beyond the county line will be treated with AWE!
13) A person's status can be determined by the # of their cattle
14) When you ramp a snowmobile, don't fall off because it WILL keep going!
15) It's okay for a girl to wrestle with a 2000lb cow, but not to drive a tractor
16) Treating your sister's bra with IcyHot is not funny...right!
17) The proper way to treat a profusely bleeding head injury is to apply a wet washcloth and not to go to the hospital
18) Severed deer feet make GREAT gun racks
19) Snapping Turtle shells make good decorative clocks
20) Men who feel inadequate can feel better by equipping their pick-up trucks with large metal balls

Well...Hope you enjoyed this installment of Kristen's Random Rammblings...see us again next week for another thrilling edition!

7 Days and counting...
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Mr. Bad Example- Warren Zevon
Topic: Whatever
Check out these lyrics!!!

I started as an altar boy, working at the church
Learning all my holy moves, doing some research
Which led me to a cash box, labeled "Children's Fund"
I'd leave the change, and tuck the bills inside my cummerbund

I got a part-time job at my father's carpet store
Laying tackless stripping, and housewives by the score
I loaded up their furniture, and took it to Spokane
And auctioned off every last naugahyde divan

I'm very well aquainted with the seven deadly sins
I keep a busy schedule trying to fit them in
I'm proud to be a glutton, and I don't have time for sloth
I'm greedy, and I'm angry, and I don't care who I cross

I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time, and I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred, and go down in infamy

Of course I went to law school and took a law degree
And counseled all my clients to plead insanity
Then worked in hair replacement, swindling the bald
Where very few are chosen, and fewer still are called

Then on to Monte Carlo to play chemin de fer
I threw away the fortune I made transplanting hair
I put my last few francs down on a prostitute
Who took me up to her room to perform the flag salute

Whereupon I stole her passport and her wig
And headed for the airport and the midnight flight, you dig?
And fourteen hours later I was down in Adelaide
Looking through the want ads sipping Fosters in the shade

I opened up an agency somewhere down the line
To hire aboriginals to work the opal mines
But I attached their wages and took a whopping cut
And whisked away their workman's comp and pauperized the lot

I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time, and I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred and go down in infamy

I bought a first class ticket on Malaysian Air
And landed in Sri Lanka none the worse for wear
I'm thinking of retiring from all my dirty deals
I'll see you in the next life, wake me up for meals


I really like this song...Why? Because it's so crazy...also reminds me of Remy LeBeau. I need to get a life...I know, I know! *Hangs her head in embaressment*

So in just under 7 days, I'll be leaving for Europe with around 50 kids! What am I thinking? Lord, let's all pray that my fountain of bad luck doesn't follow me overseas!

Things I've learned in my travels:

1)Vodka, green food coloring, and a Listerine bottle do not go well together

2) When you encounter an agressive Italian in a jester costume...just say NO

3)The 'Evil Laugh' can strike terror into even the most manly man

4) A block of ice, vodka, and a butcher knife should never be used in unision.

5)There is no such thing as a were-virgin, and even if there was...I am most certainly not one

6) I am fuckin' brilliant at 3 in the morning!

7) If an idea makes me laugh to myself for over 15 seconds, I should assume that the results would be BAD

8)I'm not normal...and I'm thrilled!

9)video cameras, free alcoholic refills, and men dressed in chain mail and tights is not for everyone, nor should evidence be sent to one's parents

10) Transvestites have great stories!

More to come later.... You know you want it!

Insanity is the spice of life!
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: My Give A Damn's Busted- Jo Dee Messina
Topic: Whatever

Great song...REALLY!!! I know it's country, but come on! Expand your horizons!

So yeah, I was talking with AP yesterday and we were discussing the insanity in our lives and I said..."Well, you have to love insanity, it's the spice of life!" I like it! She suggested I have that saying embroidered on a pillow...I just might!

Keith's coming to Florida and I can't go see him because of this stupid leg! ARGGGHHH! OH THE CRUELITY!!!

Do you think I could make a living driving a semi across country? I kinda like the prospect of living behind the wheel, having some more freedom, seeing the country, and not having to deal with all the stress of everyday life. Maybe I could get a job with the park service? Working outside all day would be so liberating! Or maybe I could get a job through the travel channel...you know, come up with the next great reality TV! I could see it now...an anthropologist/archaeologist with southern twang and a hint of pyromania, throw in some voodoo/tarot/runes, and insanity! Well, maybe not!!! :)

I want what I want!!!!! DAMN IT!!! Isn't there a job out there where I can work outside, travel, make money, and have fun? Wait... isn't that archaeology? *Throws arms to the sky* Then why am I teaching at a high school!!!! *sighs*

Tell me what you think! What should I do?

A) Semi truck driver
B) Hooters chick
C) Park Ranger
D) TV insanity
E) Fuck it all, and road trip around the US?

TELL ME!!!!!!!

Family Fun...Right!
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Homespun Love- Keith Urban
Topic: Whatever


Crazy week...yep, another great installment from yours truly! You love it...ADMIT IT!!!

Why do I post these little insights into my world...my warped mind??? Maybe, I want all to completely understand the insanity that reigns in my world. I try my best to project an image of someone in control and reserved (except for my 'special' friends! Aren't you lucky!), but here I can let the real madness shine! It's a wonderful release.

This week, I finally recieved concrete evidence that my entire family is as insane as I am!!! WONDERFUL! I'm NOT alone! MWHAAAHAAA!!! (insert EVIL Laugh) So what is this evidence you ask? Ah...Let me demonstrate!

First, my grandfather, the pillar of the family, was caught completely plastered out in the back woods, singing songs and setting strings on fire! What was he drinking? Well, he had dug up some old moonshine that he had made over 20 years ago and had buried in the woods!!! YEP!!! CRAZY!!!

Next, I think my father finally lost his mind. In the past week, he's had three buses break down and the repairs are going to cost a total of $16,000. WOW!!! Do we have that kinda money??? HELL NO! Well since then, my dad has had a mudfight with my sister's boyfriend, kissed his dog on the lips in public, danced with a man at the vocational school, and mentioned shaving his head!!! What is going on???

Don't get me wrong, I love insanity...but when my dad and grandfather start to lose it...I have to fear the end of the world is approaching...Did hell freeze over??? Why was I not informed??? Damn, that means I actually have to.... *Gulps*...be nice to Nola!

Hah! Well, there ya go, darlin's! Yet another glimpse into my sick little world! Now...I'm off to strike up a negotiation with the flamethrowing squirrel-of-DOOM, who's planning world domination from under my bed! See Ya!!!

Kris

HELLO!!!
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Pour Some Sugar on Me- Def Leopard
Topic: Whatever


HELLO!!! ANYONE OUT THERE???

Doesn't anyone love Sid, the sloth???...Oh...Wait?