by elfin
elfin@burble.com
Title: Turn Around
Author: elfin
Email: elfin@burble.com
Homepage: http://www.sundive.co.uk/
Rating: G
Pairing: Alan/Billy
Archive: yes - A&B list archive, all others with permission
Spoilers: for the end of the film
Summary: Alan gets his chance to apologise
Thanks to: Tomy for beta reading after my usual moment's notice!
Disclaimer: characters are beloved creations of and copyright Michael Crichton and Peter Buchanan. I'm just playing with them.
Notes: A single line came to me while I was sitting in front of Final Fantasy, trying to think of something to stop my brain imploding from boredom. I started to think about Billy's eyes, and the emotion there when Alan walks passed him on the observation deck, after the caging has fallen away underneath him. Something more is going on at the moment. The director honed in on the heart break in Billy's eyes. Yet another moment when this film was about more than just the dinosaurs.
Next time, make it a 15 rating and let's have a snog!!!!!!!
It hurt when Alan took his hand, held it so tightly that Billy wondered
if he ever meant to let go.
But it didn’t matter.
Alan had made it. He was here, smiling, reunited with his hat and more
importantly, Billy hoped, with his lover.
For a few seconds, Alan couldn’t speak. He’d spent every minute since
he’d lost Billy regretting the things he’d said to him. Now he had the
chance to take it all back, he hoped he could find the right words.
“I looked at you,” he stumbled, “on that platform. And I saw the pain
in your eyes. I walked passed you… I was too damn stubborn to turn
around. And then you were gone.”
Tears started to fall, and as Alan paid them no heed, Billy reached up
one trembling hand and wiped them away from the sparkling blue eyes with
his fingers.
“I am so sorry,” he told his mentor roughly, “the last thing I ever
wanted to do was make you hate me.”
“No - Billy -“ Alan found his voice stuck for a moment in his throat.
“I never hated you. Oh God… you could have died thinking that and it
would have all been my fault.” He shook his head, barely believing the
pain he’d caused. In the worst of circumstances. “I love you -so-
much. When I thought you were gone…” he swallowed over the lump in his
throat, “I had no idea how I was going to live without you. I don’t
ever want to have to face that again.”
Billy smiled. His vision was clouding, the pain killers pushing him
back toward the numbness and a healing sleep. But he wasn’t ready to
go, not yet.
“Alan….” He could hear the roughness of his own voice. He wondered how
terrible it sounded to Alan. He had no idea that it was the most
beautiful sound the palaeontologist had ever heard. “It was my fault.
I took those eggs… I shouldn’t have. Should’ve known better.”
Billy watched as Alan raised their joined hands to his lips and kissed
his heated skin. “I will never turn away from you again,” the older man
murmured softly. “As long as you want me to be here, I will be.”
“Dr Grant, we have to go now.”
Alan nodded in reply and lay Billy’s hand back on the stretcher. “I
won’t be far away,” he whispered, leaning over to press his lips to
Billy’s forehead.
As he rose to his feet, Billy tugged on his fingers. “I love you too,”
he told his mentor as firmly as he could manage.
Alan’s smile was enough for Billy to take into his dreams for now.
As Alan strapped himself into the seat, he happened to glance up and
catch Eric grinning at him madly. ‘I told you so,’ that expression
seemed to say.
Alan grinned back. ‘I know.’
fin
