Title: Breaking the Silence
Author: Dilkara dilkara@lycos.co.uk
Fandom: JP3
Pairing: Alan/Billy
Rating: Um I think R maybe NC-17
Category: first time
Archive: Sure to anyone that wants it
Feedback: oh please, please, please!

Disclaimer: Nope they’re not mind (sadly) I own nothing, nothing at all. So if you try to sue me you won’t get a penny lol.

Notes: Thank you, thank you, thank you to Hergerbabe for the beta and encouragement. Couldn’t have done it without you!

Summary: After our dynamic due return from their adventure they find a few problems facing them.

Alan hit the sun baked Montana dirt with a surprised yelp and a resounding thud. Sand flew up around him, most of it managing to float right into his face, causing his body to shake fiercely as he let out a violent sneeze that echoed in the stillness of the night. Gingerly he sat up, lifting a hand to his cheek, where, he knew a substantial bruise would form by morning. Looking up, with more than a hint of shock in his piercing blue eyes, he sighed heavily. This was not going the way he had anticipated.

Not that he was particularly skilled in that area he thought wryly. Mind you to be fair a first rate psychic would have had a hard time predicting his life. How events in his life, far beyond his control, had led him here. Struggling to keep his head up in a sea of overwhelming chaos. He’d lost everything. First of all, his love of dinosaurs. A passion that had been so deep only a like minded few ever understood it fully. One of those had been Ellie. Alan had loved her so much but he just couldn’t give her what she wanted so badly. And she could never be what he truly needed. Something that, she seemed to understand with more clarity than he could ever hope to have. Funding for the dig was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, cliché, but true never the less. Students were easy to find but they wanted to work with him so they could question him about Jurassic Park. Also because it looked good on their records, it was good to be able to say “I worked with Dr. Alan Grant don’t you know?” Instant success guaranteed. Now though, now it seemed the one thing left to care about in his life was slipping away from him. This time however, it wasn’t beyond his control, he was the one who was letting it happen.

“Silence is golden” was a phrase Alan had always appreciated. He had used it to silence troublesome students who quoted ‘Chaos Theory’ to him in class. He had also used it on Ellie when ever she had mentioned children in conversation. “We’ll never have any time to ourselves,” he had countered. “No peace and quiet.” Not that they’d ever had much of that to start with he realised on reflection. It was ironic how, that silence he once treasured, had become more of a handicap preventing him from living his dreams.

On return from his second brush with hell, Alan and Billy had learned the painful lesson of what happens when you leave a group of inexperienced students in charge of a dig. Deserted. Completely abandoned. Everything apart from their personal possessions were gone. They hadn’t even left the kettle.

Billy looked round wildly, disbelief clear on his boyish features. “They’ve just gone? Just like that? No explanation, no note, no phone call, not a fucking thing!” He whirled round to face Alan who was staring at him silently. “You’re not surprised? After all you’ve done for them, this is –”

The older man cut off his assistant with a wave of his hand, while running the other through his sun bleached hair. “We’ve been gone for over a month Billy, what did you expect them to do? Sit twiddling their thumbs?”

Billy looked at him, not believing his ears. A month. Had it really been a fucking month? A simple sightseeing trip had turned into over a month of pure hell. Weeks of being poked and prodded, of being stitched and bandaged, of being fed enough pain killers a T-rex would have had a hard time staying conscious. But Alan had been there with him, held his hand when he thought Billy was asleep, caressed his face so gently and with so much love. The young man knew Alan loved him and he knew that Alan was scared. Scared of being hurt, scared that despite the number of times he had apologised, Billy still held him responsible for his experience with the pteranodons on the island. Of course he didn’t, he only wished Alan would wake up and see that.

The young man turned with the sudden realisation that he was alone. Billy grinned with understanding, Alan had gone to think things over. He had gone to sit on a rise looking over the dig. Whenever he had a problem or was worried that’s where he ran to, as far from the real world he could get. Billy thought for a second and then boldly stepped out of the tent to follow his mentor.

“You’re tense,” Alan shuddered as a pair of strong hands gripped his shoulders firmly. He hadn’t heard his assistant approach or kneel down behind him. “You should relax more.” Alan’s retort was a sarcastic snort which turned into a low groan as Billy expertly kneaded his muscles. He leaned back slightly into the touch. Billy’s good at this, he thought. Really good, even better than Ellie.

*****

All the other students at their dig had gone out for the night. Out for a wild night of drinking, partying and jumping into bed, or what was ever available with the first person they met. Alan, on the other hand, was sitting in the same spot he had been for the past five hours. Crouched over their newest find, painstakingly brushing away what seemed like enough sand to form a desert to rival the Sahara. Sighing he reached up to rub the cramped muscles of his shoulders and glanced up to the stunning canopy of stars overhead. Then returned his gaze to the mountains of sand still obstructing him from the fossil beneath him.

“Gonna have to hire a digger to get rid of this damn sand,” he muttered to himself.

“Doubt Dr Sanderson would class that as one of your better ideas,”

Alan turned swiftly at the voice, although he already knew to whom it belonged. He grinned as Ellie Sattler approached, a broad smile lighting her face.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well I couldn’t stand the thought of going to Murphey’s Place for the fifth time in as many days,” she rolled her eyes dramatically. “I figured you’d be here, so I came in search of some intellectual conversation – wait a minute,” she frowned. “I expect that from you?!”

Alan feigned a hurt expression. “I’m not that bad thank you very much!” He turned away, pretending to be insulted despite the wicked gleam in his eyes. “I’m just under appreciated.”

“Hmmm,”

He heard her sit down rather heavily behind him but had to bite back a surprised gasp when Ellie’s hands began to rub his shoulders gently. The effect was almost immediate. He could feel the tension leaving his body so quickly it was an amazing sensation. Oh, how long he had wanted this…

“Mmmm,”

Ellie laughed gently. “Very eloquent. You like that huh?”

Alan’s voice was husky. “Oh yeah, but…” He turned so they were facing each other, studying her face intently, trying to memorise every detail. Reaching out he softly traced the curve of her cheek. “I’d like something else better…or….”

Ellie stared at him for a moment, a bit caught off guard. Alan wasn’t one for making first moves. She knew that after weeks of dropping hints. Hell, if she had walked about with a neon sign round her neck stating ‘I love you Alan Grant’ he probably wouldn’t have got it. Ellie was sure he was ‘the one’ even though they had only known each other for a few weeks. He was gorgeous in a way she couldn’t begin to describe, he was intelligent, committed, strong and deeply passionate about things he cared for.

“Oh yeah?” she grinned as she leaned closer. “Well let’s see how you like this.”

He pulled her towards him, tilting his head, gently brushing a hand through her hair and….

*****

Billy kissed the base of his neck. Alan froze like one of those cheap mimes you could find in any shopping mall. Had he imagined it? Did Billy just kiss him? Encouraged that Alan hadn’t moved away, Billy kissed him again, bringing his arms around the older man. The movement moved through Alan like a bolt of electricity. Gasping he scrambled to his feet and watched as Billy reluctantly stood.

“I knew it was too good to last,” he smiled softly.

“Billy I-I”

“Stop it,” the young man stepped forward, pressing a finger to Alan’s lips. He used his other hand to grasp his shoulder firmly, making sure sky blue eyes were looking directly into his own. “Listen to me Alan. I know you blame yourself for Isla Sorna but it wasn’t your fault d’you hear? I took the eggs, I endangered all of us and I-I paid the price. But it is over now. Please let it go.”

Sighing, Alan broke eye contact to stare at his boots. “It’s not that easy Billy –”

“For fuck’s sake Alan! It’s as easy or as difficult as you want it to be. You think it’s all plain sailing for me? You think I can stand it? Dammit you won’t talk to me, you won’t even look at me! It’s tearing me apart. It’s tearing me apart because I love you so much.”

Alan stared dumbstruck. Billy spoke with so much passion, so much love with such ease. Why was it so hard for him? Why was he such a coward? “Billy, you’re young, you don’t know what you’re saying –”

He didn’t see the punch coming as Billy lashed out, smacking him across the face, sending him to land unceremoniously in the sand. A moment passed before he looked up to see Billy staring down at him, tears welling up in his beautiful eyes. Silently the young man crouched down, trying to hold back the tears as he offered his hand. Then it struck him. It struck him nearly as hard as Billy just had. Alan’s brain finally seemed to catch up with the fact his heart had been trying to tell him for months. He was in love with Billy. Billy was right, it was that simple. This beautiful man made him feel like he never had before. He was amazing. Energetic, enthusiastic, passionate, intelligent and he loved him. Despite everything Alan had put him through, Billy loved him.

Ignoring the hand he reached out pulling Billy’s stained t-shirt, bringing the tearful young man to his knees in front of him. Carefully he wiped away the tears that had spilled out of those chocolate brown eyes that captivated him. They showed so many emotions, showed exactly what was going through Billy’s mind. Surprise, excitement, anxiety, hope and barely restrained desire. With infinite care he ran a hand through Billy’s light curls and brought him close to him. So close he could feel him breathing.

“Billy I-I love you. I love you so much it hurts. And I’m sorry for being to scared to admit it. I need you so much Billy, I couldn’t live without you.”

Billy’s eyes sparkled. “I love you Alan.”

Then their lips met, tentatively at first. Alan gently licked at Billy’s lips encouraging him to deepen the kiss. Not that Billy needed to be encouraged as both men opened themselves up to each other completely, fire running through their veins. They had needed this for so long. Not even a pack of raptors would be able to part them.

Not breaking the kiss, Alan pushed his lover back onto the sand, running his hands under Billy’s t-shirt, feeling the beautiful toned muscles, tracing the thin lines that still scarred his body. Billy groaned into Alan’s mouth his hands roaming over the older man’s back. Pausing only for an instant, Alan yanked Billy’s t-shirt at the same time as Billy unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. Billy gasped as he saw Alan’s beautifully tanned chest for the first time. Oh he had dreamed about it of course but this-this was so much better. He gasped again as Alan latched onto a nipple, sucking and biting gently, shivers running down his spine as he heard the groans of his lover.

“Alan…maybe…”

“What Billy?” his voice muffled against Billy’s chest. Oh he tasted so good. Why had he put this off for so long? It was all he’d ever needed.

“We-we should, oh, uh go inside,”

Alan abandoned Billy’s chest to plant a soft kiss on his lips. “Yeah, or we could stay here.” He laughed inwardly at the shock that appeared in Billy’s eyes.

“You mean out here? Like-like this?” A soft smile glowed down at him.

“Would you like that?

“Oh yes, I mean that’s..” He stopped suddenly, eyes sparkling with mischief. “You think an old timer like you can handle it?” His heart soared as Alan grinned at him with a look of pure love, blue eyes darkened with desire. And it was all for him.

“I’ll show you cheeky, just how much I can handle.” Alan murmured as Billy stroked his sun-bleached hair lovingly.

“Is that a promise?”

Lying there together under the stars. Sky blue eyes met two pools of liquid brown. Both knew exactly what those words really meant. Just as both of them knew that what they were about to do would change them both forever and it would change them both for the better. They had both found what they had been looking for in life and now they would never let it go again.

“It’s a promise.”

Fin

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