Ten Commandments

1. Thou shall worship no other gods
2. Honor Sabbath day
3. Thou shall not take the name of the Lord in vain
4. Honor thy father and mother
5. Thou shall not kill
6. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife
7. Thou shall not commit adultery
8. Thou shall not steal
9. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's goods
10. Thou shall not lie

What they should be

1. Thou shall always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie
2. Thou shall try real hard not to kill anyone, unless they pray to a different invisible man than thy do
3. Thou shall keep thy religion to thyself