by Happy Gilmore & Zer0
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Support freedom
10-15-01
By Zer0
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Today I decided to finish up that rant on stupid rules and security measures I started on the other day and ended up with stuff about school rip-offs. Anyways, rules are meant to keep order in a society where without such order, violence and anarchy would run rampant. Now, I know some of you say "Zer0, that doesn't really help much, then, does it?" You're somewhat right, but they do keep things civilized. But there are some things that are just plain ridiculous. Like schools in specific. A student can't come to school with freaky hair styles, which even though I contested it several times, it fully substantiated as it pertains to causing a distraction, which of course mine certainly did(try a mohawk). But did you know a student isn't even allowed to have facial hair, because the school wants to have a distinguished look, as we are leaders of the educational system. Now, you would think that if they wanted the school to look distinguished by eliminating facial hair, they would make the teacher's shave rather than the students. It's dumb to say that members of the faculty can have the very thing that makes the school undistinguished and tell the students that are only there for a little bit that they can't have the same thing. I don't even see how that is objectionable to the school's look anyway. Dumb rules of vanity. That's not all though. What about airports? Sure, airport security is high. They have random car checks, physical bag searches, and pat downs to board a plane. But they also have random cavity searches. Now, these rules were made to protect us from the escalating problem with terrorist attacks. So you're more than welcome to check my car without asking me, just to make me feel safe. But when you try to stick your hand up my [expletive-deleted], you might just end up doing the same thing to yourself to get my boot out. And what about internet rules in school? Block us from the porn. I seriously do not mind. I'd much rather miss out on Janet Jack-Me and Hung Lo Lee rather than see Super Screech on the computer next to me slapping the salami to pictures that Britney Spears personally e-mailed to him, and said he could have pics of her if he sent $15.95. Speaking of e-mail, why do they block us from our e-mail? They think we are gonna waste class time by reading the Daily Rant Digest(hey, who knows what's coming up?) they got in their e-mail? Sorry Mrs. Principal. We already waste class time already. And that's when the teachers actually give us work!!! You are the weakest link. Thank you for playing. Oh yeah. What about games? Same argument as before, but what else are we supposed to do when there is nothing else to do in class? Not to mention you entice us to do games anyways. You give us two student computers in every classroom. So I have compiled another list of stupid rules that have got to go:
- 1. No flat feet in the military
- That may have worked in the days of witch burning in Salem, or perhaps during the McCarthy era, when to wear a red hat meant you were a Russian spy, but not these days. Gotta go.
- 2. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
- Now, I may not be the smartest person in the world, but don't you think some people might misconstrue this a bit? Do you hug the guy who just kicked you in the nuts? Do you try and seduce your hot 22 year old substitute teacher because you want her to do the same thing? I don't think so. Means trouble. Gone.
- 3. Don't say God isn't real, you'll go to Hell.
- Now call me crazy, but wouldn't you think, and this is just a wacky thought, that maybe, just maybe, if somebody doesn't believe in God that they don't believe in Hell either, being as it is something he created?
- 4. [note: Do not take this as a racist remark] Be extra nice to the black people. They're relatives they've never even heard of had to work the cotton fields during the days of slavery.
- I have just on thing for that. Just shut the [expletive-deleted] up!!! Most black people in this country have probably never even seen a cotton field, let alone had anything to do with one other than the fact that their ancestor actually lived through it long enough to contribute to the gene pool. Not to mention most blacks prefer not to be treated better because of their race because it's demeaning so shut up you tree hugging, panda chasing hippy before I give you a fist full of fight right through you're blithering pie hole, you fat [expletive-deleted].
The End
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