by Happy Gilmore & Zer0
9-26-01
by Happy
MAIN PAGE
More Recent Rants
Grab two number two pencils and come with me on a magic journey through the wonderful world of "expletive-deleted" filling in bubbles. Sound like fun doesn't it? That's what they tell you when you are young so you get used to filling in crap. And then doctors wonder why the eyesight of most Americans is so bad...go figure. Take about 2 million or so really small unfilled in dots, black lead and/or graphite, questions that serve nothing more than to give you a head ache and put them all together...and about an hour and a half...what do you get? I know it's called a test registering form for students getting out of high school and trying to get into college. Now if you take just the two million or so dots and reduce it to about 1.8 million then you have the every ten year Census form. Why in the world would anyone want to do this all day? If you want a Census from this man, you can wait all year 'cause I'll be the man not listed on the city limits sign. I'll be a ghost...that's plenty fine with me. Now you can probably guess that I have a computer since I update this everyday, so I don't have that big of a problem with filling out applications online. But you gotta have some sorrow felt or some sympathy for the people that are a) computer illiterate and have a computer b) computer illiterate c) don't own a computer and are computer litterate d) don't have a computer or e) have everything in the world, but are the laziest "expletive-deleted" on the planet so they don't even do it. With the exception of e, my heart goes out to all the strugglers out there...but if they were actually serious about this, don't you think they would find a way to do it online. Now now...you know that there just aren't forms with little bubbles, there's tons of them. So many that I can't even name all of them on the entire length of all the rolls in a Charman Ultra 12 pack. Forms that ask so many questions and have so little space to for your answers ought to be banned from all existance. I love it when you spend all your time writing small enough to fit everything in the boxes provided to where you can read it, but when you send it they send it back saying that your form can't be processed 'cause you left something blank. What the "expletive-deleted" do they have to have everything filled in for?? They have the most important thing on you...your SSN! With that two years ago, hackers could change your life, but now that's not enough??? Remember the movie The Net?? I do...it had Sandra Bullock in it! Man she's hot...but that's a different subject all together. Then there's the forms that have way too much space for a normal human being to fill up. For example, it says "State all the volunteer activites you have done" and unless you are Superman or someother DC comic book hero or Mavel comic book hero, you can't fill the 2 and a half lined pages. So I end this on one simple thought...if they just asked who you think are the hottest actresses/actors, then my whole page would be full of "Sandra Bullock"!! Ain't she just so hot!!!! And no that wasn't a question 'cause everyone knows she is!
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