Dear Prudence,
The Halo agony pages
This letter is from a Mr J. Olsen who has the Blues.
Dear prudence,
I don't think I can handle this, another cloudy day in the metropolis, I've tried to talk to my analyst but he was no help,
He's more of a spin-doctor really
But that's not the real problem; I think I'm going out of my brain, I have it so bad for a girl named Louise Lane
She's a journalist where i work ~ The problem is she has a boyfriend already and he's a Superhero
I mean what can i offer her that he cant? heres a good example ~ last friday night...
while he's out leaping buildings in a single bound I'm at home reading Shaky in my place downtown,
I just wish she'd put me in her plan, she don't need no "Super" man.
Prudence replies,
I can't believe your dilemma is real; you're competing with a man of steel.
And as you sound like some sort of pathetic little weed of a man there's not a lot you can do really is there?
It will all end in tears if you ask me he is probably leading some kind of double life as a regular person and then as this "super" man
the only problem is she's so blinded by love or just plain stupid not to notice whats going on in front of her face.
Have you considered Kryptonite? A pocket full should do it
In the meantime I'm sending you some leaflets that may help
"If your not a superhero ~ don't try to fly"
"Coping with being a pathetic little weed of a man"
We also have this letter, which comes from a Mr Kent Clarke...
Dearprudence,
I am a superhero that can't stand to fly; I mean I'm more than a bird or a plane
I'm so much more than a pretty face that can run faster than a train
It's not easy to be me, sometimes I wish I could fall upon my knees and cry
I know this sounds absurd, but don't be naïve even the hero's have the right to bleed
You may think I'm disturbed but i beg you to conceive the idea that Even superhero's have the right to dream
I mean sometimes I feel like I'm only a man in a funny red sheet, looking for something special in me
But I'm not crazy or anything, so you can all sleep safely tonight.
Oh and i think a Photographer in my office has a crush on my girlfriend ~ can you help there too?
Prudence replies,
Well now Kent, can I call you Kent? it doesnt matter this is being printed anyway, not like your actually here
Although if you ever want to stop by the Halo Office or even by my house your most welcome
Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about this? or are you worried she will think you a wimp?
Now me, I could love a man so in touch with his feelings as you obviously are,
you need a warm sensitive woman to hold you, a woman just like me
I am sending you a leaflet called "when hero's go down" and my personal address and phone number ~ call anytime
As for that man in your office with the crush ~ dont worry he's a pathetic little weed of a man so you have nothing to worry about
Do you have to resort to the methods employed by Prudence to get a date?
If so then we cant help you ~ your on your own with that one
BUT ~ for anything else why not write to Prudence here at the Halo Agony Pages
Replies will be shown on this page (Or well just make some stuff up).
