Dear Prudence,
The Halo agony pages
This letter comes from a Ms. Macbeth, she writes...
Dear Prudence,
I have a cleanliness problem (no not feminine odour), it's my Uncle Duncan.He has a rather bad flatulence problem
and other bowel Issues, my husband is threatening to kill him should he not Vacate
his "throne" in our one bathroom.
Since he came to visit, I have had some terrible problems getting the spotted stains out from his Y-fronts...
I have tried all kinds of cleaning products, Spot bleaching, spot-removers, nothing works.
I keep asking myself will this spot never be clean?
No I think it will turn the sea brown before I get this shit out!
So, Prudence, do you have any advice you can lend to the matter?
His sons left town the smell is so bad and cousins MacDuff and Banquo
are at each other’s throats over the matter.
Can you please help us de-throne Duncan and clean the spot in his Y's?
Thank you.
Ms. Macbeth.
Prudence replies,
I know exactly how you feel dear, oh the problems I used to have
before the kids left
and I divorced the worthless thing that they called my
husband.
The way forward is obviously to kill him....have you considered a
decapitation?
Or better still get one of those useless layabout cousins to do
it for you, MacDuff sounds like he might be up for it,
Leaving you free to claim the "throne" as you so delicately put
it.
As for the pants, burn them. If all goes well you wont be
needing them.
Feeling down?
Want to end it all?
Listening to country music?
Help is at hand!
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