Dear Prudence,

The Halo agony pages

This letter comes from a Ms. Macbeth, she writes...

Dear Prudence,

I have a cleanliness problem (no not feminine odour), it's my Uncle Duncan.He has a rather bad flatulence problem

and other bowel Issues, my husband is threatening to kill him should he not Vacate his "throne" in our one bathroom.

Since he came to visit, I have had some terrible problems getting the spotted stains out from his Y-fronts...

I have tried all kinds of cleaning products, Spot bleaching, spot-removers, nothing works.

I keep asking myself will this spot never be clean?

No I think it will turn the sea brown before I get this shit out!

So, Prudence, do you have any advice you can lend to the matter?

His sons left town the smell is so bad and cousins MacDuff and Banquo are at each otherís throats over the matter.

Can you please help us de-throne Duncan and clean the spot in his Y's?

Thank you.

Ms. Macbeth.

Prudence replies,

I know exactly how you feel dear, oh the problems I used to have before the kids left

and I divorced the worthless thing that they called my husband.

The way forward is obviously to kill him....have you considered a decapitation?

Or better still get one of those useless layabout cousins to do it for you, MacDuff sounds like he might be up for it,

Leaving you free to claim the "throne" as you so delicately put it.

As for the pants, burn them. If all goes well you wont be needing them.

Feeling down?

Want to end it all?

Listening to country music?

Help is at hand!

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