She doesn’t love me, Ron kept thinking. For three years Hermione had been pacing his mind, raking his every thought. She was what any person would want. She was what he wanted: from the hazel eyes and fluffy brown hair, right down to her toes. He wasn’t obsessed, as he’d come to find out. He was in love. And she didn’t love him.
Now the time had come for him to tell her, he thought. Their seventh year at Hogwarts was coming to an end; now was the time. Hermione was walking alone down the hall when he saw her. His mind became a complete blank, and he stood there, around the corner watching her move slowly towards him. Taking a deep breathe, he strood out in front of her and smiled, “Hello Hermione (here his voice cracked with nervousness.”
She doesn’t love me….
“Oh, hullo Ron.” Why did he have to see me now? She thought. The library had given her a splitting headache. She had no patience for anyone at the moment. “What do you want—?”
“I have to tell you something Herm…”
“Then tell away, and hurry please.”
Now, Ron had been doing quite well up to this point. Now, his mouth was so dry and his jawed were clenched together, as if he’d had Hagrid’s fudge. He became white in the face, and he was quite dizzy. This couldn’t have been a worse time for Hermione. He’d been acting weird around her lately.
“Oh, if you can’t get it out… Just bug off Ron!”
She stalked off to Gryffindor tower, taking his heart with her. His mouth fell open at last (if only she’d waited longer!) and he said, “I love you, Hermione,” to her fast disappearing back.
She doesn’t love me….
Was I too hard on him? Hermione thought, in the middle of a wizard chess game with Harry. Seeing as it was his move, she let her mind drift back to him. Oh, my, he had grown so handsome in her mind. He was still a giant, but she had grown too, and fit right under his chin. Or, she thought, WOULD fit right under his chin. So many nights she found herself wishing she could snuggle up to Ron by the fire, hold him, kiss him, love him. Love him? She thought, her eyes growing wide. Yes, love him, and she settled into a revelation. I love him. I ran though her mind and she was completely comfortable with it. She would have to tell him. But then, something else struck her. I can’t tell him, because he doesn’t love me… What with how he’s been acting around me lately, all hostile… He could never love a brain like me.
He doesn’t love me….
Harry was waving his hand in front of her, “Hermione? Herm, you awake?”
She jumped with a start, “What…? Oh, sorry Harry.” She hated being brought back from her fantasy with Ron.
“It’s your move,” he said, smiling.
Returning to reality she tried to do her move in the chess game. But she found that she could not concentrate. What HAD he been trying to tell her this morning? She turned to look out the window, the twilight sky slowly fading itself into black. It was a Saturday, and she had just spent an unreasonable amount of time under Harry’s invisibility cloak in the library, looking for clues for their latest conflict. She shouldn’t have told him what she did. Sighing, she returned to the patterned board with this odd feeling in her stomach… like someone very close to her was dying…
He doesn’t love me….
Suddenly, there was a frantic tap on the window. Neville looked up and smiled. “Ahoy there, Pig! Lemme get the window for ya…”
He got up slowly, everyone’s eye either on him or Pig.
He’s wasting precious time….
The window was partway stuck, and minutes ticked by before Neville managed to get the window open. Seeing Pig suddenly made Harry think of something. “Where’s Ron?”
I’m already too far-gone….
Pig flew into the room, screeching and holding a letter which he thrust into Hermione’s hands. She laughed a little at Pig. “Goodness, what is it?” She unrolled to parchment and her smile faded.
I bid you all a sad good bye….
Hermione didn’t notice everyone’s eyes upon her, or Harry’s inquisition. Her eyes became tear filled, and they began to spill down her checks, her hand moving to her mouth. She uttered a small, “No…”
Not to see another dawn….
“NOOOOOOOOO!” Hermione’s voice screamed at the top of her lungs, it sounding hoarse, as if she had screamed like that for hours. She threw the parchment down and hurried up to Harry’s dormitory, and she grabbed his Firebolt. She bolted down the stairs and dodged everyone. Her leg hit the ground and she kicked off, flying threw the open window.
My fairest of the heart and soul…
Many people were crying to attract attention to them, others were screaming. Harry quickly scrambled and got to the letter first. He read it and fell instantly to his chair once more:
Dearest friends:
I find it rather funny that I make such terrible grades in Snape’s class, when I can make some of his most deadly potions. But however strong a wizard is, that wizard is only as strong as his heart. And mine is broken. So, without much ado, I will make one of my potions, and drink it myself.
To Harry, I leave my Chudley Channons collection. Fred, George, just have some fun with my old broken wand, I know how much that will light up your days. Tell mum and dad that I’m sorry… And, lastly, to Hermione…
Hermione, you are the reason my heart aches. For years, I’ve been trying to get the nerve up to tell you how much I have loved you… But you could never want any body like me… So for you, take the box under my bed… it is all I can give to the love of my life…
Love,
Ronald Weasley
I leave to you all that I know…
Hermione swooped down all over the place, searching threw blurry eyes for her red headed Ron. It was all her fault. Today had been the day he was trying to tell her… It’s all her fault.
You were my life….
She saw him: A tiny blob of orange against the Garden wall, surrounded by flowers in a surreal grave. She screamed his name and rocketed down to him, hitting the ground hard and rolling over to him. She could see the remains of potions at his side…
You were my soul….
“Ron!” She cried. “Ron, oh, god this is all my fault! Please wake up.” She was screaming at him in that odd voice, as if years of heartache were finally surfacing.
You were my heart….
His eyes opened, a foggy atmosphere inside their depths. “Hermione…?”
She threw herself on him, hugging him. “Oh, no, Ron, I’m so sorry! I love you Ron, please don’t go, please! I love you…”
And now is time to go….
They held each other, his breathing becoming ragged, and her tears chocking her. She grasped his hand, and reached up to his face. She wiped away tears that were falling steadily from his eyes.
“Hermione, I- I’m sorry… I love you.”
She stifled another sob, her face was soaking wet. She put a finger to his lips and replaced it with true love’s first kiss. Just as she pulled back, he exhaled for the last time. A soft smile playing on his face. She chocked again, then reached down and kissed his lifeless lips one last time…
“I love you….”
And now it’s time to go….
And now…
It’s time to go….
GOD!!! I’m such an idiot! How could I write something so depressing!! SNIFF T_T Ugh….. Well, I hope you ppl liked it, even though it was, afterall, a death fic…. Tell me whatcha think. Author’s note: I don’t think Ron would ever kill himself, but that just the way it came out, so please don’t flame me for that. PS- If your wondering what the box was under the bed, i leave it up to you. However, i like to think it was a ring, or letters he wrote to her, but never gace her. neways. reveiw, pleases!
