Here is a description of our services that we offer. Please e-mail us if for more detail.
- Weddings - Your wedding is hopefully the happiest day of your life. You only (hopefully) get married once, and we will work with you to create the wedding of your dreams. You can choose from the by-the-black-book wedding, or you can write your own nuptuals & vows.
- Blessings - Are an important part of journeys, whatever type they may be, spiritual, physical, or mental. Blessings can prepare the mind for what lies ahead.
- Sin Absolution - You know what this one is. We can forgive, and erase whatever you feel are sins you have committed in your mortal life. We can do online sin absolutions, just sendus an email about why you need your sins to be absolved (**CONFIDENTIAL** This information will not be shared with anyone, except the higher power, if it may be)
- Funerals - We can do funerals for your loved ones, whatever species they may be. The dearly departed deserve a customized ceremony, but if you cannot think of anything to say or do, we can help you with the planning and execution of your dearly departed's celebration fo life.
- Exorcisms - If you believe evil is present, we will exorcise with blessings, and rituals that chase away evil with the power that only a Minister posesses. Besides if you're seeking an exorcism online, we'd love to hear why!
- Life Affirmations - It's very similar to a wedding, but not a legal wedding. Besides, if you really love somebody, what does it matter if the state approves or not. Usually people who cannot get legally married, or do not want to get legally married, but want to devote their lives to one another can do this. We are currently researching the legality of life affirmations of the polygamous nature.
- Grants of Indulgence - This absolves you of any sin committed, or that will be committed in life at anytime throughout your mortal existence. It's more thorough than a single Sin Absolution, this Grant of Indulgence provides you with protection from punishment for all sins ever committed during your pathetic existence.
- Custom Ceremonies: -
- Spiritual Rituals - Different cultures have different rites and rituals, we can help you research and perform any tribal, modern, or other cultural ritual within the law. this excludes murder, curcumscision, mutilation without consent, and sacrifices.
- Spiritual Counseling - Do you need help finding your path. We offer an objective approach to finding your spiritual self. A Church will just tell you to out your 'faith' in Jesus or whatever. Our Spiritual Guidance Ministers will provide you with free counsel to help you find direction in your life. You may not even need a god to believe in, if you dig deep enough within your SELF. Just open your mind and you will know what's right for you.
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We are not affiliated with any other religious organizations, except of course, our mother church, The Universal Life Church, and The Universal Church of The Apathetic Agnostic. We do not claim that our religion is the Only 'true religion' because nobody can do that without lying to theirselves. What lies beyond life is uncertain, and it is up to you, and only you to decide what is right for yourself because you can only have true faith in your self. We are very objective people and will consider any type of ceremony you desire, except of course the ones listed above, for legal purposes, and circumscision is just cruel.
Please, feel free to discuss your options for any of these services. We do not charge a fee for these services, but donations are gladly accepted in exchange for our time and preparation.