JOKES FOR MEN
Women Do not go past this point.
How many men does it take to open a
beer? None. It should be opened by
the time she brings it to you.
Why do women have smaller feet than
men? So they can stand closer to the
kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is
about to say something smart? When she
starts her sentence with "A man once
told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You
don't, there is a clock on the oven.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women never shut up long
enough to build up pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back
door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course. At least he'll shut
up after you let him in.
All wives are alike, but they have
different faces so you can tell them
apart.
What's worse than a male chauvinist
pig? A woman that won't do what she's
told.
If your a women and got to this point , you didn't do what you were told by stopping at the above point.
What do you call a woman who has
lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
Our last fight was my fault: My
wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I
said dust.
In the beginning God created the
earth and rested. Then God created Man
and rested. Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has
rested.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
What is the difference between a
dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
Do you know the punishment for
bigamy? Two mother-in-laws.
A man inserted an ad in the
classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day
he received hundred of letters. They
all said the same thing. "You can have
mine."
The most effective way to remember
your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut and
still think they are beautiful.
If a women got to this point , boy your sure don't listen. And if your offended thats to bad because I didn't write the jokes, I am just a messanger.
By, Monkey Splooge
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Steal ma shit, I kick yo ass.