When seeking help in matters of the heart I find it best to only search within you. Others have the best intentions when helping you but their views are clouded either by feelings for you or by past experiences.
Only you know the whole story, you know the feelings behind your loves motives and what she truly feels. Listening to other may help you make your decision but you should just take what they say with a grain of salt because you know what you want to do from the get go. If you feel you know something is true, don't let others change that thought.
This past week has been hell on earth for me. I thank everyone who gave advice and such, but I know my love better than she knows herself sometimes. I understand what she wants, and I know what I want. I guess I wish that someone else could understand that way I could have some support while going through this instead of the fake BS support of "oh as long as our happy". How the fuck could I be happy right now? The only person I’d want to hold close to me is gone, and I don't know when she will come back.
I can't discuss my feelings with anyone because they will tell me “just forget her and move on, she only treated you bad”. The good times out weigh the bad times a hundred fold. I thought I had learned my lesson about seeking advice from outside sources but I guess not. I'm the only one who knows what I’m feeling and what she is feeling. Anything I’ve been told has only made things worse.
I'm fighting my inner desire to be the sweetest person she knows and doing everything in my power to get her back now, but I know it's not the best thing to do. I feel bad in talking to other women sometimes because I don't want to do something that leads them to believe I care about them. I truly don't, my heart belongs to someone now. Until she forsakes everything about us, that’s how it has to be. She's worth too much to me to risk losing her completely.
We love each other. I know this. I also know that we will be together in the future, because despite every fight and disagreement we've had we still come out together. We never gave up on each other. Even though we are on a "break" I know if something bad happened to me I could call her and she would be my support.
.......*sigh*
