Stop the
Profanity?
There is a
pressing issue concerning America's speech nowadays, and most of it mainly
resides in the fact that George W. Bush is President. But since we can't really
do anything about that right now, let us address a milder concern: profanity.
It is not
entirely bad that vulgar words exist in the first place. There are occasions
where partaking in some verbal dumpster diving is well tolerated, even
expected. Conditions are usually limited to:
1. Being in an
incredulous amount of pain, especially if you caused it to yourself.
2. Having no
children, clergy, or (most importantly) soap in the area.
3. Making sure
all microphones are off if you are about to make a campaign speech.
but these rules
obviously don't apply anymore. Swearing is at an all time high, with no sign of
slowing down. So why are a dozen or so nasty words in excess, repetitive use?
There are two well thought out theories that attempt to answer such a question,
by which I mean ideas that just popped into my head this minute. The first is
something I call "Like" Effect, which is known to increase snowfall
in areas near large bodies of water before they have frozen over.
No, wait--that's
Lake Effect!* The "Like" Effect begins when a person comes to a
temporary loss of words, which leads to the use of a filler word, such as
"like," until their mind turns over and they can continue. Being so
convenient, this word is used over and over until it is permanently seared into
the subconscious and is used automatically without any thought required by the
speaker, and we all know that the complete elimination of thought is a common
goal in today's world. Such as the "valley girl" epidemic that swept
out of California and, like, plagues us to this day, profanity has taken the
same course. Almost every noun, verb, or adjective that doesn't immediately
register in the mind is replaced with a swear word. It's like playing Mad Libs
with a guy who has Tourette's. In fact, vulgarity has spread into portions of
our life where even "like" hasn't
trespassed:
"Do you
take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I ****ing
do."
The other
theory, which ties into the first, is that the Big Evil Media has drilled
cussing into our minds. While many balk at this idea, it could admittedly be
somewhat true. Maybe I'm wrong, but when I was little, TV Land was a kinder,
gentler place to spy on. We had Care
Bears, Gummi Bears, Some Other Bears...
Sure, G.I. Joe had battling, but
knowing was half of it!** And "adult" TV was wholesome. It was
educational. It was empathetic. It was Urkel!
And noone ever got voted off the island.
But now TV Land
has a strange smell to it, like the Jersey Turnpike. Children shows teach
nothing, except for the important "Uh-oh!" and "Big hug!"
And parents who became outraged when Sesame
Street was brought to you by the letter "F" now let their kids
watch Springer. Popular music also seems to have followed current trend, with
Eminem rapping:
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps
to sell his records;
So __(verb)__ him and __(verb)__ you too!
Not to say that
the media doesn't convey any profound message anymore; it's just that the
message is, well: "__(verb)__ you."
Now that these
potential reasons have been expressed and analyzed, you must be wondering,
"Gee. What can be done to reverse this problem?" Well, it beats the
__(noun)__ out of me. Seriously, taking care of this problem is going to
require everyone's individual effort. The next time somebody wrongs you, don't
take the easy way out! Instead of using those old, tired, dirty words, try some
choice words from a more cultured vernacular. Quote some Shakespeare, or at
least swear at him in another language. Your enemy may be awe-struck--even appreciative--that you have taken the
time to forge ahead of the boundaries of petty language. And then he'll hit
you, because violence is another pressing issue nowadays.
*I put that in
to make Dave Barry proud. I love you, Dad!
**The other
half, of course, was killing people, but they never greatly emphasized that
part.
