Conspiracy Theory # 1

Why Cheese WizZ is the forebearer of DOOM

• Why on earth would mankind try and fit cheese into a dispensible bottle if it wasn't for the destruction of mankind?
• No one could fit that much cheese into that bottle.
• It looks like something that would be evil.
• Notice how it always seems to be around....
• Ive seen it communicate with other cheese wizz bottles.
• By using my stealth cheese suit, ive actually gotten footage of secret cheese wizz cult meetings
• Doom always looks nieve.

When encountered with cheese wizz, please take these simple precautions so you wont be caught in its DOOM. 1) When faced with its DOOM, quickly grab the can by its neck, if you grab it by its stomach, it may kill you. 2) Next, shake the hell out if it. 3) Then, throw it at a brick wall. 4) Laugh as its life seeps out of its can.