"A god who provides all the answers becomes an explicable and comprehensible god, but also ceases to be God!"
(David J. Bosch)




To introduce myself


I am a former Christian (evangelical Protestant) who, over the past decade, has fallen in love with Judaism. I have found pleasant refuge in Judaism through books, on the internet and on e-mail lists, by observance of certain precepts and commandments, and on visits to the local synagogue.

I no longer: (a) accept the teaching of the Gospels concerning the historical Jesus or the teaching of Paul concerning salvation; (b) acknowledge Jesus as the Messiah or the Son of God or the God-man; or (c) recognize any "name above all names" but God's name singular. As Israel proclaims that God is One, incomparable Sovereign and only Savior, so do I. "True, the God of the universe is our King, the Rock of Jacob is the shield of our salvation. Generation after generation he endures and his name endures.... True, you are the First and you are the Last, and apart from you we have no king, redeemer, or savior." (Shema blessing)

The initial attraction to Judaism came through "classical Reform" views, which is not surprising for one who had doubts about his own religion's foundations but had been thoroughly indoctrinated since childhood to see observance of "The Law" through the negative lenses of the New Testament. In any case, I must give credit to Reform Judaism for meeting me at my point of departure from Christianity, and for offering a Biblically-based monotheism to accommodate my devotion to the God of the Hebrew Scriptures. Since then I have found much to appreciate in the entire community of Israel, especially in the direction toward observance, i.e., in the way of Torah.

The way of Torah is more than what Christians denigrate as "The Law." The way of Torah is walking before God humbly and honestly while being renewed and strengthened, warned and comforted, disciplined and delighted, by the light of God's precepts. "I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts." (Psalm 119:45) So following the way of Torah goes deeper than mechanically counting off the commandments observed in one's day or week or lifetime. As the Talmud puts it, "You are not required to finish the task, but you are not free to neglect it." (Pirke Avot 2:21) Now that is a principle one can live by.


Where I am now


I have not formally converted to Judaism. For the present I remain a sebomenoi ton theon (Greek for: worshiper of God), a Gentile who worships and serves God through the perspective and teaching of Judaism, a Jew-at-heart, which to me means....

*celebrating the goodness of the God of Israel, who is the source of blessing: "majestic in holiness, awesome in praises, working wonders." (Exodus 15:11)

*looking to the Hebrew Bible and other Jewish writings for instruction in "the law of life and the love of good, and righteousness, blessing, mercy, life, and peace."

*offering the One God praise, acknowledging his sovereignty and receiving his holiness into my daily life.

*as a student of Judaism, seeking to identify with the community of Israel in their worship and service, according to the promise:

"As for the sons of foreigners who attach themselves to the LORD, to worship him, to love the name of the LORD, and to be his servants, all who keep the Sabbath without profaning it and who hold fast to my covenant, these I will bring to my holy mountain and give them joy in my house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and sacrifices will be welcome on my altar, for my house will be called a house of prayer for all peoples." (Isaiah 56:6-7)

In practical ways, this means I pursue (with emphasis on the word pursue)....

*Torah study. "Blessed is the man whom you discipline, Lord, and teach out of your Torah." (Psalm 94:12)

*Daily prayers and blessings. "May my prayer be considered as incense set before you, the lifting of my hands as the evening sacrifice." (Psalm 142:2)

*Observance of the Sabbath. "Three acts of God denoted the seventh day: He rested, He blessed and He hallowed the seventh day (Genesis 2:2-3). To the prohibition of labor is, therefore, added the blessing of delight and the accent of sanctity. Not only the hands of man celebrate the day, the tongue and the soul keep the Sabbath." (A.J. Heschel, The Sabbath)

*Precepts such as: love of my neighbor as myself, g'milut chasadim (deeds of kindness), teshuvah (repentance), and honor of parents.


How I got here


I came to the realization that almost everything Christianity claims to offer in the name of Jesus was already available through the house of Israel, both to those born in it, to those who chose to join it (Is. 14:1), and universally to those who lived uprightly before God. In more detail....

*First, the nature and character of God is distorted by the focus on Jesus as the image and fullness of God. Christianity says: 'God is love, yes, but the love of God is shown supremely in the person and the sacrificial death of Jesus. Until Jesus came the wrath of God was upon all mankind. Likewise, the grace of God is found only in Jesus and by faith in him, and is received apart from works of "The Law." We can only be righteous through him, as if we cannot find our righteousness in God alone.' But then I read passages such as Exod. 34:6f (which I consider the foundation of the Torah) or Psalm 103 (which offers as full a grace as you will find anywhere) and I wonder, don't Christians know these passages refer to the religion of Israel?

*Second, as in the moral attributes of God, the works of God are fulfilled only when Jesus comes as Savior, Shepherd, King, Judge, Lord, even Creator! So what is said exclusively or ultimately of God alone in the Hebrew Bible now comes to apply to Jesus in an even more exalted way. Compare, for example:

1. Only Savior (Is. 45:20-25 with Phil. 2:9-11)
2. Creator (Is. 40:28 with Col. 1:15-17)

Now, of course, Christians understand Jesus to be one with God, fully God while fully man. Nevertheless, what was said of God alone is now said of a man, contrary to the teaching of the Hebrew Bible.

*Third, the nature of salvation is further distorted by its equation with eternal life. To be saved means one is going to heaven and not hell. The entire focus on the afterlife (the reward of heaven, the threat of hell) compromises the motivation of ethical behavior and empties our present life (in the presence of God) of ultimate meaning.

*Fourth, the meaning of faith (as trust and faithfulness) is distorted by its equation with belief in Jesus. A living, active trust in God is replaced by belief in certain doctrines of "the faith." The faith of Abraham and the faith of a man who "lives by faith" is identified with acknowledging Jesus to be all that Christianity claims for him.

*Fifth, the concept of sin is distorted by Paul's theology of original sin (man's inherited bondage to sin). As Martin Buber made the distinction between two views of sin, those of Judaism and Christianity, we sin "as Adam sinned and not because Adam sinned." Adam represents (as the name means) mankind, with the freedom to choose sin or righteousness, good or evil, life or death. Man is tempted and even fascinated by sin, but in Christian teaching he is also bound to sin.

In addition, I have always been, more or less, a skeptic (not believing everything others tell me), a lover of life in this world (not counting on the next), and an honest student of the Hebrew Bible (fairly interpreted from within): qualities dangerous to Christian faith.

As far as Jesus, I will venture this only as a guess: He was a Jew who in his lifetime came to believe he was the Messiah, the long-awaited deliverer of Israel. He was neither the first Jew to think himself such, nor would he be the last. He was wrong, but not as wrong as the religion which developed from interpretations of his violent death and transformed a messianic Jewish sect into worshipers of a man as God.

Jesus is not the answer. Jesus is the question that Christianity begs. The question is not whether he existed (I'll grant that he did), but whether the Jesus of the Gospels bears any resemblance in word or deed to the historical Jesus: would Jesus recognize himself in the Gospels?

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© 2001 Charles F. Hudson