g-book
email
menu
wearing: guess? blue shirt, jeans... hair: down accessories: gel bracelets shoes: converse socks: tights that I cut off at the knee with candy canes on 'em eating: nothing gum?: nope drinking: nuttin i feel: pretty happy tunez: the used-a box full of sharp objects I spent second period wrapping presents, so I didnt have to write my stupid auto-biography thing. In science we did this really hard (or maybe I'm just stupid) periodic table thingamajigger. Shirley looked at the teachers answer key, and I might've accidentally looked at her paper. A guy tried out for cheerleading and made it. That's all anybody talked about today. All of the lists said, "Congradulations Ladys and Nick!" (no, not that Nick). I ditched year book again, I don't even know why I'm still in it. For student council, we're doing this thing called "adopt a family". I bought 'em a slow cooker thing, slippers, and a candle...32 bucks. I had to get someone a secret santa present too for student council. I got 'er a borders gift certificate because I have lots of 'em and they have CD's there. Ryan called while I was gone. I called my mom a second after that and she told me and all he wanted to say was he was sorry for not calling back yesterday. How sweet! I wish we would've talked more, but...we didnt. I'll call him again in a few days 'cause I REALLY want him to teach me how to skate board and just to hang out. I went with my dad to pick up my sister from soccer and it was FREEZING. I got hot chocolate at the end, but it was still cold in the mean time. Now I hafta go make brownies for the student council party tomorrow, yippee. Kelly said so at... 9:30, 12/17/02 wearing: guess? jeans, dopey shirt hair: pig tails/backwards hat accessories: gel bracelets shoes: converse socks: short, white, ankle eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: 7 up i feel: happy? tunez: something corporate-punk rock princess School was mui boring today. I was asked if I was a nerd...ugh. I think it's 'cause I was reading at lunch, but it wasn't a real book, it was a compilation of useless lists. Fun. In the past 2 weeks, I've been told/asked if I was a: prep, punk, goth, nerd, emo. I need to decide which label I am, so I can answer people when they ask, which they inevitably will. I'm stuck with that Ashley girl I hate as my partner in science, yuck. In English, we have to write an auto-biography. I should just save myself some time and print this stuff out, huh? I'd probably get sent to teh counselor for a month if I did though...I started wrapping Christmas presets today, I got done with my moms and sisters. I called Ryan. He was doing homework, so he said he'd call back. He did. We had a very interesting and useless conversation. I banged on the upstairs neighbors floor (our roof) for him. He's gonna teach me how to skate board and play guitar. I think I might have a friend now...so I can no longer say I don't to get pity from people. He had another call, so he had to hang up, but he said he'd call back. He never did. I'll call 'im again tomorrow to bug him summore. Kelly said so at... 9:42, 12/16/02 wearing: pj pants, gray tank top hair: down, wet accessories: gel bracelets shoes: etnies socks: none:/ eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: chocolate milk, nurmy i feel: cant decide tunez: mxpx-punk rawk show I spent 90% of my day online listening to music, I'm still really tired. A few hours ago we went off in search of a Christmas tree. We went to 3 different places, but they were all pretty expensive. We went back to the first place we went to and got a tree for 27 bucks...I'm not even sure why I'm writing, today was extremely un-eventful. I don't know when to call Ryan, I'm not good at the whole concept of getting someones phone number and then calling them. I'll probably do it tomorrow. He's the only guy I've ever liked that's been able to tolerate me, and maybe even like me back. Oi, I miss 'im already! Uh, I cant really think of anything to say, so I'll go do my homework that I've been putting off. Kelly said so at... 9:53, 12/15/02 wearing: i look very dorkular. i have on blue plaid pajama pants and my superman shirt hair: red backwards hat accessories: gel bracelets shoes: slippers socks: red and black argyle eating: lasagna gum?: none drinking: nothing i feel: glad I didn't kill myself like I said I might, kinda happy, tired tunez: puddle of mudd-she hates me I know I haven't written in a few days, but I won't bother to sum up my life that much. I was planning on trying out for cheerleading, but I basically just wanted to to get friends. If people just wanted to be my friends because I was a cheerleader, they're not worth it, and I doubt that'd happen anyways. I went on the straight A field trip yesterday, bowling and out to eat. I did really bad at bowling... Shirley gave me a paper of hers that nick corrected for me to frame or something yesterday. I had a lock-in thingamabobber yesterday night/this morning. For the first hour or so, I wanted to call my parents to pick me up. We went caroling and can collecting (ugh..yuck), but we only went to 8 or 9 houses. Some people shut the door in our faces, and these little 10 year olds on bikes were yelling at and circling us. We just went back. While on the way back, I was asking people if I could pluck their eyebrows, and one guy named Ryan let me. 'Twas mucho funo. When we got back, I gave him a makeover too. Someone was holding him down and helping me. He looked perdy, but went to wash it off when I was done. A while later, him, another girl, and me had a random conversation about richness, poorness, his big hands and feet, and other...random stuffs. He said I was awesome, yes, he used the word awesome. He let me wear one of his shoes, which I didnt give back 'til the morning. We stayed up talking (him, me, and the other girl) until about 4 in the morning when we decided to go watch the movie. All 3 of us layed on an itsy bitsy love seat with our feet resting on chairs. I was next to Ryan...We went to the gym for a little while, and while I was turned around a ball hit the back of my neck. Ryan asked if I wanted him to kiss it better, and he did. When we got back there were some stupid little kids on our couch, so we had to sleep in between to couches where there was barely enough room for one person and three of us slept there. My head was next to Ryan's feet, heh. I didn't get to sleep until around 6 in the morning, and I kept waking up again after that. I only got around an hour of sleep. Before I left this morning, I got his phone number. I'm afraid to call him, I haven't really called anyone since 3rd grade and I don't know what to say. I don't know when to call him so that he won't forget me but doesn't think I seem desperate..ugh. I sound like a boy crazy teeny bopper, but I sincerely care about and like (I don't wanna say love, but that's what I'm really thinking) every guy I mention on here. When I got home, I went on the computer for a while but was extremely tired, so I went to sleep. I slept until about 6:30, and now I wont be able to sleep tonight. Kelly said so at... 10:33, 12/14/02 wearing: bell botom-ish whiskered jeans, red shirt with black sleeves hair: red backwards hat accessories: gel bracelets, red arm cuff shoes: etnies socks: rainbow zebra striped eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: nothing i feel: suicidal, depressed tunez: the country music channel´s on, heh I don´t know why I feel suicidal, today was a pretty ok day compared to usual. I think I´m just lonely. Nothing happened with the Nick thing today, which I guess is good. I can´t help but still like him, I don´t care if he does have a girlfriend, if I don´t have a chance with him, there´s just something about him you can´t help but love. We had a scary sub in geography today. He has a really weird voice and he always messes up the seating chart. We had a test in there that I probably failed because I kept zoning out and day dreaming. In 4th period I had to take around a bunch of fliers to all of the home room teachers. Every other class I went into had some idiot being...idiotic in it. I don´t see whats THAT bad about me.I hate my 6th period, I should´ve talked to the counselor at the beginning of the year and gotten taken out. I ditched year book today. The representative person rarely shows up, and they never use any of your ideas unless you´re cute and perky, so there´s no reason to be there. I took the depression test again yesterday, and now I have 16 of the 19 signs of depression. I need some kind of medication. My dad was just reading an IM I wrote. My dad and sister got home and told me to get off the internet, and I told them I was busy. My dad was just reading an IM I wrote, and I said ¨my parents suck, I cant talk¨. Now he says I can´t go on the computer tomorrow. Too bad. I´m going to. That´s where my only friends are, and if I don´t have them to talk to, I´ll probably act on the suicidal thoughts. If he´d just mind his own business he wouldn´t have read that, but he can´t. He´s always reading what I´m writing, it sucks. Now my sister has to check her stupid soccer emails. bye. Oh yeah, I made a new layout... If I don´t come back, I´ve probably killed myself. Kelly said so at... 3:35, 12/10/02 wearing: jeans, blue dopey shirt hair: red backwards hat accessories: gel bracelets shoes: slippers socks: blue ones with moons and stars on 'em eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: water i feel: borderline suicidal tunez: the used-burying myself alive (i think?) Why am I so stupid? Shirley made me write Nick a note, so I did. It basically said, "Nick, I know it's probably the farthest thing from your mind right now, and I'm only writing this because Shirley's making me. I didnt write the stupid bearing your children thing, Ashley did. I know I don't have a chance with you, if I did, which I might if I was a 100 pound, blonde haired cheerleader, I would've told you." Then it went on to say something about me being a loser, and "if I didn't have a chance in hell with every other guy, why should he be any different?" I ended with "Sorry I exist, Kelly". I told Shirley she could give it to him in 6th period, but I really really really didn't want him to read it. In 5th period, she wanted to give it to him then. I took it out of my pocket just to show her that I still had it, but then she got one of his friends over to grab it from me. I tried to get it from him, but he was too fast for me...heh. He got to Nick, who said "What now?" in an annoyed voice. He got through half of it, but then the teacher took it away. In 6th period, he asked Shirley what the rest of it said. She basically summed it up, but added stuff of her own. She gave him my phone number (which I REALLY didn't want her to do) and he got all...weird. She asked if he was going to call me, and he said "No chance in hell"...She's not sure what he did with my number, but he probably threw it away. I really wish Friday never happened. I wish he didn't know I liked him and I could take it to the grave. I wanna almost commit suicide, but not quite succeed, and then everyone'll have to be nice to me so that I don't blame them in my dear John letter for my next attempt. God I love Nick so much. I need to like a guy who's in my league, maybe a 5 year old or one of the special ed kids. Kelly said so at... 9:27, 12/9/02 wearing: black shirt, pj pants hair: red backwards hat accessories: fuzzy arm cuff, gel bracelets, black necklace shoes: etnies socks: white ankle eating: m&m's, even though I'm trying to start up my diet again, chocolate makes me happy:/ gum?: big red drinking: water i feel: downgraded from <insert 15 very's> suicidal to <insert 15 very's> depressed tunez: Blink 182-Going away to college I went with my sister, grandma, and mom to the strip today. We were going to be tourists and just walk around, but we got stuck in the mall. I got a really cute pair of black dickies...but I can't have 'em 'til Christmas. I'm trying to get over the Nick thing, but a few times an hour I get reminded of it somehow and it makes me sick to my stomach. I sound like an over-emotional little kid, but I actually cried myself to sleep last night. I don't know why I'm so hurt by it, I was fully aware that there was no way he liked me, but for some reason I am. I'm trying out the diet thing again. Maybe if I get a new hair cut, lose 30 pounds, and get a professional make over, he'll like me. I'm just kidding myself. What the hell is so bad about me? I'm definately not gorgeous, but I've seen girls MUCH uglier than me with boyfriends..or atleast friends. I was thinking it's because I'm so negative, but the only reason I'm negative is due to my lack of friends. It's a never ending cycle. I'm depressed because I don't have friends and I don't have friends because I'm depressed. Go figure. I do kinda have friends now. I haven't met any of them, and I doubt I ever will, but the people on my little board (did I tell you guys about that?) are the best things to ever happen to me. Now I got some of their addresses and we're going to send eachother letters. I stayed online until 12 when I should've been doing homework talking to one of them. It's great to have people like that to console in. Kelly said so at... 10:40, 12/7/02 wearing: plain jeans, plain black v-neck shirt hair: half pony tail thing accessories: fuzzy arm cuff, gel bracelets shoes: my sisters slippers socks: frogs eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: nothing. i feel: suicidal. very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very suicidal. tunez: I knew I loved You-Savage Garden I know it's been a LONG time since I last wrote, I won't even try to sum everything up. The main reason I haven't written is because my mouse isn't working, so I have to use the tab key and anything on an actual website, not an aol key word is really hard. Today sucked. I don't care if anybody from my school reads this, he already knows anyways, so I'll just write everything. Nick, a guy I had a crush on in 4th grade and basically fell in love with when he came to this school at the beginning of the year, was sneezing in 1st period, so in 2nd period I said to Shirley "Bob's got a cold"(Bob's what I call him so nobody knows who I'm talking about). She then tells the girls at our table (ashley...ick, and courtney...kinda ick) about the whole Bob thing. They guess who Bob is, and then Ashley writes him a note, pretending to be me. Courtney gives it to him, and I walk over and try to grab it from him, but he won. In 5th period, I asked Ashley what she wrote on the note. She put something about me loving him and wanting to bare his children. Not that this isn't true, but...oi. Then Shirley asks his friend Billy if Nick showed him the note. He didn't, which is good. But then Billy goes over and asks about it. Nick says, loud enough for anyone who wanted to to hear, "It just says something about her loving me and wanting to bare my children". Oi. After school, Shirley (who sits has 6th period with him and sits right next to 'im there) comes over to my locker smiling. She says she knows something. I didn't want to let her go, but she wasn't giving in. My stomach was churning for 3 hours, she wasn't answering her phone. When I finally got a hold of her, she said he said "Doesn't she know I have a girl friend? Even if I didn't, he wouldn't have a chance in hell." I pretty much knew that, but it was nice to dream. If I DID think I had a chance, wouldn't I have told him? I bawled for a half an hour and listened to a bunch of love songs, and now I'm feeling suicidal. There were magnet school presentations for the past 2 days, and I decided not to go because I wanted to go to the school he's going to, which even I know is sad. I don't know how I'm supposed to sit next to him Monday. He doesn't believe me when I tell him Ashley wrote the note...My life sucks. I want to end it all. It's not worth it. I live a completely meaningless life filled with nothing but dreams of guys I'll never have a chance with. I'm going to graduate high school having never been on a date or to a party. I'm going to die that way too. I want plastic surgery sooooooooo bad. I wish the world weren't based on beauty, but it is. You could have the personality of a pencil sharpener, but if you're cute you've got guys lining up for you. Life sucks. I'm gonna go cry some more. bye. Kelly said so at... 7:00, 12/6/02 wearing: super man shirt, bell bottom jeans hair: backwards red hat, curled out...kinda accessories: fuzzy arm cuff, gel bracelets shoes: slippers socks: frogs eating: omelette gum?: big red drinking: apricot smoothie i feel: happy. me? happy? tunez: Affirmation-Savage Garden. <3 this song Sorry for not writing, as if you care. I got straight A's on my report card. I think we're going bowling and to the buffet for the field trip. Not sure about the buffet thing...Kevin wasnt at church stuff yesterday. Phillip listened to my head phones. I'm gonna frame 'em. They smell like him now. Mike asked to borrow batteries for his CD player, but I didnt have any extras so I had to break the poor things heart. he he. No more bible school until January 8th. Waah. I'm VERY un-happy about that. So I HAVE to go to the lock in. Sometimes Mike goes, and Kevin goes to all of 'em. Today in 4th period, I had to go to the counselors office. She told me she wants me to join junior varsity quiz because, according to my test scores, I'm the SMARTEST kid in SCHOOL. Wowzers. And yet, I've only gotten straight A's twice in middle school. Hmph. Im gonna join, its not like I have a life or anything to stop me. I'm also going to be in this thing called the "science olympics". 10 people from each science teacher were chosen. I hope the meetings arent on the same day. Thats 4 after school activites. Oughtta look good on college applications. I'm going to my friend Taras' birthday party in a week. She spelled my name REALLY wrong on the invitation. They spelled it "Kalie". My moms being a major bitch and making me get off. Kelly said so at... 10:03, 11/21/02 wearing: regular ol' jeans, my red and black striped rugby shirt with a gray tank top over it. i dont know why i have the gray tank top over it. i think its just cuz im cold... hair: backwards red hat accessories: fuzzy arm cuff, gel bracelets shoes: slippers socks: neon frogs eating: salad gum?: none drinking: nothing i feel: kinda sad tunez: Two Beds and a Coffe Machine-Savage Garden Plausible. I use that word alot when I want to sound smart. End of randomness. That girl I hate wasnt at school today. Yay. Theres this EXTREMELY annoying girl in 4th period who insists on sitting next to me. She wont shut up, and thats the one class I really don't want to get in trouble in. She makes weird noises with her teeth and offers the teacher gum...Durr. Lunch was spent alone as usual. We had a sub in science and had to watch this really long video on Isaac Newton. Isaac Newton was one cool dude...Erm herm. There's no student council on Mondays anymore, but I kinda miss it. I like having something to do after school other than come home and sit my butt in front of the computer. Report cards come out Wednesday. I think I got a B in geography. ::tears:: So no straight A field trip for Kelly. Erm...I spent the rest of the day on the computer. The end. I hafta shower. Kelly said so at... 9:44, 11/18/02 wearing: blue zip up pants 10 sizes too big for me, white top with blue sleeves hair: backwards red hat and flipped out accessories: fuzzy arm cuff, gel bracelets shoes: etnies with red and blue laces socks: cows eating: chocolate cake with caramel icing... gum?: nope drinking: coffee i feel: full tunez: the country music channel...he he, i dont know what song it is though and im too lazy to get up It's my dads birthday today. After church, I went and got him a present. I just got 'im a wallet, but thats good because his is falling apart. I spent most of my day in a chat room with all the people from our message board in it. I went outside for a while and played with Tara. We went out to dinner for my dads birthday at the Orleans buffet. I completely pigged out. I feel really gross. As we were leaving, my sister went walked up and down the moving walk way. I seriously think she needs to go to a special school. When we got back we made the cake that I'm now eating. I wanna see Harry Potter so bad. Im such a dork its scary. Wow. I didnt write much. So I'll just do one of my stupid never ending story things. No, wait. How about a sing along? Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm he had a pig. E-I-E-I-O. With an oink oink here and an oink oink there. Here an oink. There an oink. Everywhere an oink oink. Old MacDonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-O. Actually, how about I just go to bed? Kelly said so at... 10:07, 11/17/02 wearing: jeans and a gray tank top hair: backwards red hat, hair down accessories: fuzzy red arm cuff thing shoes: slippers socks: black ones. from reffing. eating: this lemon candy thing with fizzy stuff in the middle gum?: none drinking: water i feel: dunno, im kinda depressed tunez: The Get Up Kids-Overdue Wow. I havent written in over a week. Thats the longest I've gone since...I decided I didnt want to wait a week to write anymore. I cant remember if anything worth writing about has happened lately.I went to my sisters friends rock climbing birthday on monday. I did really bad. My muscles kept turning to mush half way up. The little kids did better than me. We rode the bus there. I hate the bus. I wore slippers and my pants rolled up revealing my striped socks to church wednesday. Mike said my slippers were "pimp". Erm...he he. I refereed 3 games today. I got the 10 dollar coach, so that gave me 22 bucks. I did really bad with the $10 coach. I made 3 bad calls, but unfortunately, he was honest and made me aware of them despite the fact that they werent in his favor. This 18 year old (or atleast thats how old she claims to be) from the fd message board kept calling me "avril". I said nothing to suggest that to her, and it was really annoying. I went to nerd-love.com/avrilsucks. It was really funny. I hate to admit it, but I actually like sk8er boi and complicated. I heard another song of hers for the first time today, and it could pass for Celine Dion or Kelly Clarkson. Its like shes not even trying to be "punk" in it. The whole family went to the store tonight (ugh). Its my dads birthday tomorrow, and I couldnt find a present... Im writing a book. Its called "A day in the life of a me". Ill explain what its about later. I was looking for people with my name on google today, just for kicks. I'm an 84 year old dead woman. He he...Im gonna go try and find more mes'. bye Kelly said so at... 9:48, 11/16/02 wearing: light blue guess? jeans, superman shirt hair: backwards red hat, woopdidoo hair accessories: some gel braclets. more than 5, less than 34. my fuzzy red arm cuff thing with the star on it shoes: etnies with non-matching laces socks: froggies eating: fruit pastels (english candy. nummy) gum?: none drinking: nuttin i feel: tired tunez: The Julianna Theory-if i told you this was killing me would you stop? I didn't write yesterday 'cause I was really depressed for some reason. I just wanted to go to sleep. And I did. I think I have the beubonic plague. I keep cracking my neck, and even though it hurts, I can't stop. My finger tips are cold, my feet keep falling asleep even when I'm walking, Im all shakey, and I keep getting cramps in my leg. I had one last night and I can still feel it. I did really bad on a test we had in math, and I thought it lowered my 95% to a 77. I guess I calculated wrong, because I have a 90. That would've ruined my high school GPA. We had this weird sub in English. Since I'm the English teachers aide, I had him 4th period too. He let everyone go to the computer lab alone today. I bet there wasn't much computin' going on. I'm in a fight with my..achem...friend. She started to be mean to me when I told her she was mean to me. She wrote me a note saying, "so, youre not my friend anymore?". I wrote I didnt know, and she put, "cry me a river". That didnt make any sense. Other than that, school's been pretty boring. We took my sister to her soccer practice. More money. I had to go to the library to type up a story I have due in english because my printer's out of ink...and I think its broken too. Gotta go do my homework. eek. Kelly said so at.. 9:30, 11/7/02 wearing: red pj pants, gray ribbed tank top thingy hair: towel on accessories: 5 gel bracelets...my film negative bracelet broke. gotta make it again. shoes: none. yuck feeling. socks: white ankles...higher ones eating: nuffink gum?: de-flavored big red that I've had since 3rd period drinking: some greenish liquid i feel: depressed, mad, excited tunez: city high-what would you do?... My mom irks me. I was shaving my arms with a dull razor and I cut myself. I put a bandaid on, and my mom asked what happened. Shes too nosy. I couldnt think of a good lie, so I told her the truth. She got all weird on me and said thats the dumbest thing she's ever heard. She thinks Im the only one who does it, and I have cute blonde hair. What is cute about body hair? Ugh. I mean, nobody ever sees my legs and my arms are out in the open every day. She got mad at me because I "always have to turn everything into a gawd damned argument. why cant I just be agreeable?" We have a math project we have to do, and we have to make a graph and a story to go along with it. My graph is going to show my mom getting mad at me. I need to eliminate McCall. I think I'll hire a hit man to go suffocate her with an abercrombie bag. I dont see why SHES so popular. She looks like a pig. I had year book today. We got to see how everyone is going to look in the year book. I look REALLY bad. My face is off to one side, Im smiling weird, my hair's weird, and my smile is weird. Im very un-photogenic. Right now my moms saying I need to get off the damn internet and come do my homework. No. Tomorrow is student council, and we have to stay 'til 4 to clean up the school. Again, no. I wanna go to church stuff to see mike and philly cheese steak...and kevin if he shows up. Ill leave early or something. My moms really making me mad. She always says she wants me to get off of the internet, but whatever I do when Im off of the intenet she seems to find annoying. Today was election day. The marijuana question isn't going to pass. Its not like people who wanna use it aren't gonna if its illegal, that just gives the drug dealers money and stuff...I have to go do my homework and think of a weird outfit for tomorrow. Kelly said so at... 9:57, 11/5/02 wearing: blue plaid pj pants, white spaghetti strap shirt hair: i got it cut really short yesterday. its around chin length. I have it curled out, kinda sorta clipped up so that it goes behind my ears (except for my bangs) and then my backwards red hat on... accessories: just 5 gel bracelets. thats all i felt like putting on today. i have a red, green, blue, yellow, and light blue glow in the dark one, and a bracelet i made out of film negatives shoes: slippers socks: red and black knee high argyle ones eating: chicken burrito gum?: nonr drinking: nothing i feel: depressed, love struck, dreading tomorrow tunez: the used-box of sharp objects. cool song. I didnt write yesterday mainly because my mom made me get off the computer. My sister had punt, pass, and kick, and my parents made me go. My moms friends daughter spent the night the night before, and she went too. She lost to her best friend by 6 inches. She had 176 feet, Danni had 176 ft. 6 inches. Im glad she didnt win. I wont feel worse about myself than usual. And I doubt we could afford it. I got my hair cut yesterday too. It looks cute when I have my hat on, but I dont know what I'll do for school. That girl who I told you about had her party. It looked like SO much fun. he he. There was a long white table and they had it situated in the grassy area at the end of the parking lot. There were lotsa pink balloons and little kids. Tara didn't go, because her mom thought it was rude of them to invite everyone but us and on the invitation she put "money rather than gifts" or something. They made a huge mess. Today was the first time I've been to church in a month. I dressed all freaky to scare my grandma. After, we picked up my mom and went out to breakfast. She got me a back pack purse thing a ma jigger, a shirt, a magnet, a ring, and some euro dollars. And lotsa candy. I love English candy. I spent the rest of the day on the internet, and most of the internet time in a private chat room with all of the people from the lil' message board. We played slut on a bus. You go down the list, each person saying something sexual they've never done. If you have done the thing the other person hasn't, you put an "@" sign. The first person to 10 @'s is the slut. I dont know how I won. It was through many series of odd circumstances. We talked for about 5 hours. Near the end it got really depressing. We were talking about depression. I have 13 of the 19 symptoms. Not good. Then I had to get off and do my homework, and by the time I was done everyone left. Im still really love struck. Adios. Kelly said so at... 9:30, 11/3/02 wearing: duckie pj pants, gray wife beater type thing hair: backwards red hat accessories: just 5 gel bracelets. thats all i felt like putting on today. i have a red, green, blue, yellow, and light blue glow in the dark one shoes: slippers socks: white ankles eating: melted tootsie rolls, very nummy gum?: dubble bubble! i havent had this for SO long! drinking: hi-c poppin' pink lemonade i feel: depressed, love struck tunez: john mayer-your body is a wonderland I didnt write yesterday. I was too tired. I went trick-or-treating with my parents. Not fun. I bet everyone who reads this just laughed out loud. We went over to my grandpas neighborhood because I live in apartments and apartments are a bad place to go trick-or-treating, mainly because everybody else does what we do, goes to another neighborhood. After, we stopped by my grandpas again. My cousin Mikey was there (oh, I forgot, hes in HIGH SCHOOL now. so i guess his name is mike) and so was baby Joey! They were standing behind the van, and when I saw Joey I screamed and ran up. "Mike" ran away, and then I got in trouble because I made him run with the baby. I didnt make him do anything. "Mike" has no sense of humor. He can do stupid impressions of Adam Sandler, but whenever I do anything, Im being "immature". Next year, Im gonna listen in on peoples plans and go where they say they're going. Ill stalk them. Sounds like fun. I'm very love struck. Can't say who Im love struck with, but I dont see how I didnt see how perfect he was until now. Hes never made me want to drink a whole body of lysol either. I know I sound like some boy crazy teeny-bopper, but thats not it. I havent had just a "crush" on someone since 6th grade. I know, I know, wow, TWO WHOLE YEARS! But when you're thirteen, thats 1/6 of your life. Since then, Ive had reasons other than "they're hot" to back up my obsession with 'em. New topic. Whats the point of life? Until today, I thought that adult-hood was the point of life. That is why you go to school, after all, to get a good job when you're older. But what's the point of a job? To pay for food and shelter. The only reason you eat is to stay alive. But if you have no fun, whats the point of life? There was no school today. I spent most of the day on the computer. Most of my time on the internet is spent on the "fashion boards". Today, all of us "boardies" (Im using lots of quotation marks today, huh?) went into a chat room. We decided that the fashion donts board has turned to dust, so we made our own. You cant actually make your own message board, so we looked for an empty one. It was called Ethans Shoppers or something. Its cool. A girl in my apartments who isnt necessarily my "friend", shes just someone I talk to every once in a while's birthday is coming up. Another party I didnt get invited to. Guess who she IS inviting though? Tara, my lil' 3 year old friend. Speaking of birthday parties, my sister got invited to one of the girls from her soccer teams' party. I cant believe my lifes so boring that I have to resort to telling you what parties my sister gets invited to. Tomorrow, she has the punt, pass, and kick tryouts. My parents want me to go. Im sorry, but Im sick of all these Karley things. Im sick of being second stage. I want to be in one itsy-bitsy little play, but it's too "involved", so my parents make me drop out. But Karley has all of her parties, soccer things, punt, pass, and kick, EVERYTHING, and she hasnt had to drop out once. From now on, I dont care what anyone else thinks about me. People are going to hate me and think Im a loser no matter how I dress, so I might as well have fun. My moms friend came over with her daughter tonight. Her computer isnt working, and she wanted me to help. Im ok at internet stuff, but if it involves problems with formatting or anything Im stumped. I spent 2 hours trying to help, and nothing came of it. Her older daughter gets to go to school on the internet. Why cant I do that? Its not fair. Lifes not fair. I wonder how long Ive had this site. Until November 12th of last year, I never used to save what I wrote when I put up a new layout, so I dont know when I started. I should print this out some day and send it to a publishing company. I could call it "A day in the life of a me; memoirs of a teenage girl who needs to look on the bright side of life" or something... I doubt it'd sell, but its a thought. I think thats the most Ive ever written...Bye Kelly said so at... 11:12, 11/1/02 wearing: a blue dickies jumpsuit that says psych ward on the back, backwards. its an accident... hair: curled, red hat accessories: a gel bracelet that broke so i wrapped it in duct tape and now its prettier shoes: converse socks: white ankles eating: smarties, hersheys kisses, lotsa candy gum?: nope drinking: nothing i feel: really manic depressive about some things, kinda sorta jovial about others. more manic depressiveness than jovialness. tunez: john mayer-love song for noone. hes still my obsession. I didnt write yesterday. No good reason. Someone looked really hot today. I saw something I wish I wouldn't have, it made me really sad... I hate school so much. My one and only friend at school hates me. I was reading my essay I wrote ALL by myself because the rest of the group wanted to color, and she said "shut up kelly, no one cares". Then I told someone else "and shes my best friend at school" to which she replied "i already have a best friend". I didnt say I was her best friend, she just wanted to be a bitch. My whole group hates the story, which is kinda sorta about the Brady Bunch, I think its good. Their making me change the names, but then the whole story wont make sense. I make references to astro turf and cousing oliver and lisps. My grandma got back from england today. You didnt know she was gone though...so thats irrelevant to anything. We had a dance today. It was the best dance Ive ever been to, which is pretty sad. Thats because 2 people actually talked to me and I wasnt by my self the whole time. Miss J asked why I never dance at the dances. I wanted to scream "because im a LOSER!", but then shed probably pull a my mom on me. "Your exaggerating. Im sure you have lots of friends. If not, its your own damn fault." Its not my own damn fault. They only played one slow song, but unfortunately it was "this i promise you", which is the only nsync song I still like, and I swear to god I was about to burst out in tears. Im too emotional. I had church stuff, and Mike was there today. He sort of talked to me, but it was only because he had to for an activity we were doing... I hate halloween. This is really going to sound desperate, but I was hoping the teacher would ask what we were doing for Halloween at church. Then, if things went my way, I would say "ill probably stay at home", someone, anyone, would say "oh, how sad! wanna come with me?" and everything would be good. It would just be out of pity, but pity is better than nothing. Instead, I guess Im going with my parents and little sister. Thirteen year olds arent supposed to go with their parents. I seriously have no reason to live. My sister won a contest at Albertsons. Guess how many candy corns are in the jar. Now Im not better than her at anything. She made it into choir, and the one thing I thougt I could do better than her, I learn I cant. I have to go re-write my story. Talk to you later, unless I decide to spend the rest of my life in my locked room watching baby videos and reminicing about the good ol' days. Kelly said so at... 9:03, October 30th, 2002 wearing: bell bottom jeans, tie dyed shirt, i look psychodelic... hair: down, boring accessories: gel bracelets shoes: etnies, same laces ive had in for a week, im too lazy to change them anymore socks: white ankles eating: chips ahoys gum?: nope drinking: vanilla coke i feel: sad tunez: john mayer-your body is a wonderland. hes my new obsession. I wrote yesterday. I swear. It was probably the most Ive ever written, too. But then my stupid computer decided to freeze up on me, and all was lost. Basically,I said my sister had her soccer tournament, I went to the second games on both days, they won for u-11 girls, and I know I said a whole lot more, but Im too tired to remember. Im poor enough as it is, but now Im going to have 1/4 of the "luxuries" I used to have. My dad is a chef at a casino, and he got 2 complaints out of the 1000 people he cooks for every day. One was because a lady said she was in a rush but he made her wait in line anyways, and another was when my dad gave somebody what they asked for. They said they wanted a chicken sandwich. When he was done cooking it, they said they wanted the chicken cut up. So he cut it up. Then they said they wanted cheese on it. He put cheese on it, but by that time it was over with. He asked if she wanted him to make them another sandwich, but they got mad and left. So now they took away 3 of his days on the grill, so they took away 3 days of tips. His pay check pays the bills, but tips are what buy us food, clothes, soccer, christmas, and stuff...He made a petition and got 225 signatures on it by just having it on the counter today. His boss thinks that he can put all of the chefs from the back on the grill and he wont get any complaints. Thats not a good thing to think. My dad's worked there for 23 years, longer than anyone else. He hasnt called in sick since I had the chicken pox 10 years ago, and hes gotten just those 2 complaints in the 23 years. Its messed up. Today was flash back day. Thats why I look psychodelic. Whose stupid idea was flash back day? Oh yeah, it was mine. Oops. Me go bye now. Kelly said so at... 10:11, 10/28/02 wearing: red plaid pj pants, red tank top hair: erm...my red hat, again accessories: gel bracelets. only 33, one broke. im sad. and my staple bracelet i made, but it hurts really bad shoes: etnies, same laces ive had in for a week, im too lazy to change them anymore socks: white ankles eating: chocolate chip ice cream gum?: none drinking: nothing i feel: annoyed tunez: the radio is on, my moms station, i dont know what song this is I think I broke the TV. We were trying to order National Lampoons Van Wilder, but nothing was working. So I clicked on this thing that said enter your pin number, entered a random number, and I think it was valid. Then something weird popped up, my mom called the cable company, and they couldnt do anything to fix it at the time. Its supposed to be on again by 11, and we get the movie free, but Im really bored. My dad's at the bar, so he entrusted me to cook the steak, and I burnt it. Its not my fault, its the tv's, cuz we spend an hour trying to fix it. I have to go to my sisters soccer tournament tomorrow. You have NO idea how happy I am about that. I just love sitting around in the heat watching a bunch of 10 year olds kicking around a ball while the dust is getting kicked up into my face and getting sun burnt and being hungry and being bored and being uncomfy and...all aroud miserable. My moms making me get off, yippee. I feel like a 6 year old. Kelly said so at... 10:35, 10/25/02 wearing: light blue guess jeans, super man shirt with the annoying really high neck hair: down, red hat, nothing new accessories: sparkly black bracelet star thingy, gel bracelets shoes: my sisters blue slippers socks: frog socks eating: baja fresh chips and salsa gum?: nope drinking: vanilla coke, its flat i feel: kelly is a happy camper about the thing she wasnt a happy camper about which was going to make her an unhappy camper for another year, atleast temporarily, starting a few days from now. kelly, however, is NOT a happy camper in the general area of happy camperness tunez: get up kids-overdue Im sorry I havent written in a few days, like anyone reads this anyways. I had ALOT of homework last night, so I didnt have time. Im really mad at my mom. We have new neighbors, so she wants me to go "make friends". I told her you (ok, I) cant just go "make friends" like that. Id get laughed at right in my face. I told her she needs to spend a day at my school as me, and then she'd understand. She says she doesnt understand why people dont want to be friends with me, and when I explain you have to be cute to have friends, she got mad at me. She gets mad at me whenever I say anything that isnt what she thinks, so now shes not talking to me, and she threw the remote when I did say something to her. She acts like a 4 year old. Tomorrow, no school. Yay, a whole day with my loving mother. My sister wants me to get her some ice cream, even though Im busy typing and shes just sitting down watching tv, I have to get it for her. Yesterday was church stuff. I wore dark gray eye shadow as lip stick and put alot of heavy black eyeliner on, and wore my pants that make my butt look cute (ok, nothing can make by butt look cute, but i still like 'em) and i kept having to pull them up cuz their too big around the waist...and mike wasnt there! neither was kevin. only philly cheese steak was. That was cool, cuz he was sitting next to me, but then this girl jessica wanted me to go sit by her so I did. I forgot to call to ref, even though my sister has a soccer tournament at the same park. Im so stupid. We have a dance on wednesday. Im extremely excited about it. I love being made fun of by the special ed kids. I wouldnt go, but since Im on student council I have to. Id drop out of student council, but Im "8th grade rep" (i didnt get elected, there were only 3 people running so she made all of us officers) and the student council coordinators' student aide. Im going to take a bunch of sleeping pills and dose off now, bye. Kelly said so at... 9:57, 10/24/02 wearing: pj's hair: towel on it, just got out of the shower accessories: for some reason i only have 33 gel bracelets... shoes: etnies with black laces that have silver stars on 'em socks: no socks, feels yuck eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: apple juice; from the bottle i feel: not a happy camper anymore. i wont be a happy camper until 9th grade, and thats only if im VERY VERY LUCKY. i might be an unhappy camper for years to come. i am excited cuz i get to see mike, kevin, and philly cheese steak today tunez: eminem-stan Kelly is sad. Kelly wants to singe her nose hairs again. Kelly is talking about her self in 3rd person. Kellys English teacher would be proud. My daddys making me get off. I have a project due in English tomorrow. We have to tell how to run an garage sale. I hope I get it done in the next...Soon. My dad put ice down my back. Now I have to go. He treats me like a baby. Kelly said so at... 10:11, 10/22/02 wearing: red guess? shirt, dark mudd jeans hair: backwards red hat....agin... accessories: just TWELVE gel bracelets shoes: etnies with black laces that have silver stars on 'em socks: moo socks eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: nothing i feel: i AM a happy camper, but if things today had gone as they were supposed to i would be microwaving my internal organs and singing my nose hairs, and if things had gone as i really wanted them to i wouldnt be at my house right now. tunez: the white stripes-dead leaves and the dirty ground Today was "team day". We were supposed to help plan it and stuff, but we didnt. Therefore, we had to play kick ball for 3 hours straight. I didnt have to eat lunch alone! Since I dont think theres anyone who reads this who doesnt know about him or who would actually care, Nick came over and ate lunch with me. It was out of pitty, and ofcourse he had to bring along Brittney Bitch, but it was still sweet of him. Hes really cool. He let me hang out with him at the dance so I wasnt just leaning against the bleachers the entire time and...stuff. I hate getting pushed around. Not that I really wanted to play kick ball, but I hated the fact that people thought they could just come up and cut me. I kicked 3 times, and some people did around 10. Im going to start wearing all black and stuff, so I look intimidating. We watched Sand Lot. There was a cute guy in it, but Chelsea wanted him. Of course, Chelsea gets ALL the guys. Every one of 'em. There aint one guy chelsea cant get. Not fair. Oops, did I say that out loud? IM gonna go duct tape my fingers shut. I think my computer is bulimic. You know how when you have bulimia for a while, you autmatically throw up your food? Any-whoo, when Im on the get up kids site, it almost ALWAYS plays one of the 3 songs of theirs I dont like, so I close it. When one of the songs I DO like comes on, it closes after a few seconds. Its really weird. I get to see mikey baby in a few days. I wanna get myself a pair of black dickies, and then Im going to wear my red and black striped shirt with a pair of suspenders and some knee high orange go go boots or something. Ok, maybe not that. Wanna play a game? Too bad if you dont. Im really bored, so Im going to list a bunch of songs. The person who can name the most artists gets...a hug and a box of jello. Am I Very Wrong? Under 21 Campfire Kansas Anything Goes That's Me Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps Superspy Saved by Zero Tinto Brass Friend is a Four Letter Word How does a duck know? Peace Train Kodachrome Annies' Song Daniel Hyperactive Child Kind of a Drag Tough Guys Megan 2k Little Sister The Song Remains the Same Georgy Girl Ill tumble 4 ya Age of Aquarius Private Eyes Fantasy Old Time Rock 'N Roll What a fool believes It Never Snows In Florida Ok, now its time for some extra credit...Name as many songs as you can by the following artists: 1.The Chemical Brothers 2. Finley Quaye 3. Weird Al Yankovich 4. Kottonmouth Kiings Okey dokey, Im going to go bang my head against the wall and eat forks so I can spend the rest of my days getting surgery to remove objects from my digestive tracht. Ta ta. Kelly said so at... 10:07, 10/20/02 wearing: my choir shirt from 5th grade, pj pants hair: what else, my backwards red hat... accessories: none, cept for the rings i always wear shoes: etnies with black laces that have silver stars on 'em socks: frogs eating: lasagna gum?: big red drinking: dr pepper i feel: extremely depressed, mad, tired, I am not a happy camper tunez: vanessa carlton-a thousand miles, that song reminds me of someone I refereed today. My dad dropped me off at the park 40 minutes early, because he obviously likes my sister more...You know the coach that normally gives me $10? Today, he gave me 20...He was going to let me keep it, but I was stupid and had a consience so I gave him the 6 i already had back. I think hes trying to buy me...That girl who was cracking me up with her journal the other day emailed me back. She said that I was the only one on the board that had a problem with her. Im sure this person was extremely fond of her. I hope you are killed by a hobo. A really dirty one, who urinates on your corpse. Then takes your house keys, and pillages your house so he can buy stew and a stabbing knife. That made me laugh. I think thats the first time Ive laughed all day. I dont know if I said this yet, but my mom wants me to go to a therapist. The same one her friends' daughter goes to. I refuse to go. I watched 3 Christina Ricci movies today. I fell asleep in the middle of Casper. I just want to sleep all day tomorrow. Im never depressed when Im sleeping. I had a good dream last night. Ill be off now to sleep and see if I can dream the same thing again, nighty night. Kelly said so at... 11:00, 10/19/02 wearing: dark mudd jeans, black and red striped rugby shirt hair: backwards red hat AGAIN accessories: none, cept for the rings i always wear shoes: etnies with black laces that have silver stars on 'em socks: black and red argyle knee socks... eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: nothing i feel: very manic depressive, mad at myself tunez: savage garden-affirmation I might tell you why Ive been manic depressive and stuff on monday, but I hope I dont have to. My sisters friend Danni came over. They were shouting things at passers-by (why is beyond me) and saying, "you dress like a floosy". Some guy, I think I know who he is, hopped the wall and started chasing after them. He he. Does anyone know where you can find the high and low temperatures for the day on the internet? I have a thing due in science where I have to make a graph of the temperature for 10 days, but I cant find it...Im very very depressed. I feel like crying. I hate leave it to beaver. Their too happy. And they bring their dates on family picnics. That bugs me. I want to be in leave it to beaver. I wouldnt at all mind being too happy. Im going to go sulk, maybe Ill drown to death in my tears. No, Im not that lucky. Kelly said so at... 10:50, 10/18/02 wearing: dopey shirt, baggy whisker wash jeans hair: backwards red hat. im getting boring accessories: gel bracelets shoes: etnies with black laces that have silver stars on 'em socks: white ankles eating: a sandwich...its nummy gum?: big red drinking: nothing i feel: not quite as mad today, just very sad tunez: none Cant say why Im sad. Sigh...Today was the last day of testing. An over all boring day. Whats so wrong with me? I dont get it. Im no Britney Spears or anything, but I dont really think Im as bad as I make myself out to be. Or maybe I am. I have what I consider to be a good personality, but for some reason it seems like I have LOSER stamped on my forehead. People on the internet bug me. I was on this girls live journal, and I felt like I was actually going to throw up. They fired one of the maids because poor little Elle had to make her own breakfast. She was very insulted that some middle class girl at her oh so upper class school asked if her original ralph lauren was from abercrombie. Her stupid sister called when she knew they were eating dinner, they always eat at PROMPTLY 7 ó clock. Her worst fear is not being popular. She left field hockey practice 5 minutes earlier because her nail polish chipped. She was very disappointed because mumsy was sick so they couldnt go on their weekly trip to the spa. Some LOSER who didnt know how to drive almost reared her perfect little mercedes. Mummy and Daddy are away for the week so she is stuck with the ¨crew¨, ie the butler and maids. She made her own little survey thing just so she could put down ¨what is the best name for a butler¨? She truly irked me. My mumsy is calling for me now, so Ill be off. Bye. Me is very sad... Kelly said so at... 10:02, 10/17/2002 wearing: jimmy eat world gray and black baseball shirt, regular ol' jeans hair: backwards red hat again accessories: gel bracelets, this black arm thingy kinda sorta a bracelet, its glittery and has stars punched out shoes: etnies with black laces that have silver stars on 'em socks: black ones with silver stars, i match really good today when it comes to accessories eating: nothing gum?: none drinking: mango smoothie kind of a thing i feel: giddy cuz i saw mike today, so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so mad because of...something. i cant really say. i wish i could. but i cant. it makes me really mad and sad though. i cant get over it. im not going to get over it. yeah... tunez: yay! i finally know what the song's called. im listening to the get up kids-campfire kansas I havent written for a few days. Not much has really been going on. Sunday we took out my Grandpa for his birthday. Yesterday my sister had soccer practice, and my dad made me go. Everybody's going to think im such a dork, but I made him take me to the mall. I don't have anyone else to go with, and going to the mall with your dad is better than not going at all, or atleast thats what Im telling myself. I got the shirt, shoe laces, and bracelet Im wearing. My sister got all mad because we SPLIT a piece of pizza. I hate my math teacher. He assumes that just because there is trash outside of our door, we put it there. We had to write "I will not throw my trash on the ground. I will put my trash in the trash can from now on" or something FOURTY TIMES! I only got it done 7, he he, because I was doing the thing where you write I I I I I etc... on every line, then will will will will...you know? In science we have to make these little car things for "team day". Were the bertie botts every flavor bean team...I know, its stupid. We have these...bean things. Actually, their marbles. We get them put in and taken away for stuff. When the big jar is filled, we get team day. The stupid geography teacher dumped the big jar, which is against the rules. Teachers arent supposed to break rules. Its against the rules. 6th period isnt as bad anymore since SOMEONE was moved. Well call him frank. I had student council, nothing special. Then I went to church stuff. Mike looked so hot. So did kevin and philly cheese steak. Im really obnoxious and negative in there. I think Im starving for attention. We did this little social skills test thing. There was a question that went something like, "The people at your lunch table are talking about something, but you are confused. What do you do?" There were 3 possible answers, or a fill in the blank. The teacher was trying to ignore me, but he finally let me read. I said, "I eat lunch alone. The closest people to me are the 6th grader with the spiderman backpack whose dad eats with him, and what they say is really of no rellevance to me". There was another activity we did, and it asked, "What is the most interesting thing about church?" I put that it was interesting that almost all of the people at mass look like either a witch, vampire, or some other mystical creature. Its true, too. I wore a kick me sign there. Some little girl took it off of me and I wanted to slap her or something. I pretended to make a phone call so that I could look in mikes direction. I finally figured out what color his hair is. Im really mad. Cant say why. Just gotta vent. It involves 4 people. Ill try to solve the problem tomorrow. Hope it works. Me go now, bye. Kelly said so at... 9:32, 10/16/2oo2 wearing: red shirt, guess jeans, very boring hair: backwards red hat accessories: gel bracelets shoes: converse socks: white ankles eating: kool-aid popsicle, nummy gum?: big red drinking: water i feel: happy, tired, depressed...mixed emotions today tunez: Interpol-Hands Away I reffed again today. I hated the girl that was with me again. She came late, and when she got her money the coach gave her 10 bucks instead of 6. He said to give me half of the left overs and she threw her head back and laughed. It was an annoying HA HA HA laugh too. One of the coaches kept telling me how to do my job. She was saying one of the girls on the other team was sliding, when her team was doing the exact same thing. The next game the same coach that always gives me $10 was there. I should've went over to her and waved it in her face. She had to do everything so by the book too. I dont know why it bugged me...One little girl gave me a hug after the game. It was sweet. Later, I went to this fair thing at my church. I was supposed work in the haunted house, but for some reason there were already people there, so I went off to look for something to entertain me. I had to give my sister $2 even though she already owes me $10. Its not fair. Linze mad me a CD, which Im listening to now. For some reason people have felt compelled to make me cd's lately. I dont know if 2 people necessarily makes it an epidemic or anything, but its making Kelly happy...I had a really good dream las night. I wish my mom hadnt made me wake up in the middle of it. Thats all Im thinking about before I go to sleep and maybe Ill dream about it again. When I get more ink for my printer, Im going to stop writing in my diary and just print this out and glue it in there. So much easier, and I write alot more on here. Of course, theres alot I can say in there I wouldnt think of writing here, but I could just write that part in. Whenever my body looks half way ok, my face looks like crap. Whenever my face looks kinda sorta decent my body swells to 20 times its normal size. Whenever either looks a little ok, it cant be a school day. Just felt like writing that. Ok, me go now, bye. Kelly said so at... 10:46, 10/12/02 (yay! my moms asleep so im on here past 10, lmao. and see, im not getting into trouble...) wearing: gray spaghetti strap, blue pj pants hair: towel on my head cuz i just got out of the shower accessories: gel bracelets shoes: purple fuzzy slippers socks: none(wow, thats a first...it feels yucky though) eating: nothing gum?: nope drinking: nothing i feel: mad tunez: American Pie, while slapping myself for being a dork I went to that thing at church today. I had to walk a long way cuz I went right after school. He wasnt there. That made me mad. I was trying to find a way to weasel out of it, but I drew a blank. All we did was attempted to put together costumes to sell or for people to get their pictures taken in. My dad picked me up just before I was going to spray paint, which, sadly, would've been the funnest part. I forgot my backpack (I dont know what it is about my church that makes me forget stuff. i left my chair there once, my pillow [that was a good thing, mike left his too and they were touching...ahh], my purse and god knows what else) and my dad had to drive me back. Hes been mad at me ever since. Not much else happened today, so Im going now... Bye. Yippee! Now I get to go in my room and watch wrestling with my sister. Its sick. 10 year old girls are supposed to be playing with Barbies and wearing dresses, not getting dirty and watching EDGE. Oh, I said bye, huh? Kelly said so at... 9:54, 10/10/02 wearing: dark jeans rolled up, super man shirt hair: down, backwards red hat accessories: gel bracelets, loser sticker on my forehead, red arm cuff shoes: etnies w/red and yellow laces socks: red and black argyle knee socks eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: chocolate milk...narf i feel: happy, really depressed, tired tunez: The Get Up Kids again, I have been every day. Not sure what its called, but i think this is my new favorite song...it reminds me of mike somehow Today was bible stuff, and I went in dressed as I planned, cept for different socks. Mike was there, he didnt talk to me but I had fun looking at him. This girl jessica there's cool. Everyone there is cool, actually. I like that I can be a total dork and not get made fun of, atleast to my face. I still hate my 6th period. I REALLY want to change it, but the counselor wont let you out of a class just because people are asses to you. They were all telling me I smelled like smoke, as if I didnt know. I feel really depressed for some reason. Its weird. I feel like just laying down in bed and never waking up, but today was a good day compared to most. I had a stupid practice test for the iowa basics test thingy in math. Practice tests are stupid. They were really easy questions. There was no point. Were in 8th grade, I think we know how to bubble in answers by now. Tomorrow Im going to church again. Its to build a haunted house or something for the fair. I have to walk there right after school, but its ok because Phillip aka Philly Cheese Steak (yes sean, he is a living, breathing, walking, talking person) is going to be there. I really need to get some real friends. Its sad to go places just because you might see someone who you know will never talk to you, but you still wanna see 'em, ya know? Im shaking Im so depressed. Its really weird (Im running out of things to say so Im repeating stuff). Oh yeah! In journalism today (im the aide) we had a sub, and he let some people go to the computer lab to "type up their articles". He didnt go. It went as planned for about 2 minutes. Then everyone discovered the secret doors, and had to check them out. It was nothing special, just a kitchen thing. The real fun started a while later. They were playing the "nervous game". A girl and a guy sit across from each other, and the girl sees how far down she can put her hands on the guy without getting...nervous. The guy does the same, except hes feeling up...I was so glad a teacher didnt walk in. My moms really making me mad. From now on, Im only allowed on the computer 'til 10. Its stupid. I hate her. She has to count down the time for me, too. Then she gets mad at me when I say ok. I want to be adopted. Or I could be a normal 13 year old who goes to parties and never talks to her parents. That would make her mad too. Its not fair. I wanna listen to one more song before I have to get off, so me go now. Kelly said so at... 9:52, 10/9/02 wearing: black athletic pants things(i had to ref today and i still havent changed)and a gray tank top hair: down and messy accessories: gel bracelets shoes: etnies socks: black socks (again, just cuz i was reffing) eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: apple juice foam...im a dork i feel: sleepy tunez: The Get Up Kids (not sure what the songs called, but its really cool) As Ive mentioned about 10 times, I refereed today. It was the little kids (only 6 bucks a game) but it was ok cuz one of the coaches gave me 10 bucks instead. He always does, I think hes just trying to get me on his side. The girls I reffed with were friends, and they alternate between games. I hated them both. One of them went to MY TEAM (dont I sound like a 5 year old?) and saw if they had cleats and shin guards on, but then she expected me to read off their names. Thats kinda stupid. Then neither of them would quit the game when I blew the whistle because according to their watch there was time left. This little girl got injured on the drop ball you do when someone gets injured. There is 1 player from each team standing across from eachother, and I drop the ball in betweenthem. One of the girls kicked it before it hit the ground and it hit the other girl in the nose. I made a little quiz thing...Its about me. I put a link at the top of the page...I wanna dress freaky on Wednesday for Kevin, Philly Cheese Steak, and especially Mike...Ill probably wear my superman shirt, dark mudd jeans rolled up, weird socks (not sure which ones, I havent bought 'em yet), etnies with yellow and red laces or my purple slippers(anyone think i should do the slippers?), hair in high piggy tails with a bunch of...weird things, my loser sticker on my forehead, and this cute belt thats...weird. today was a pretty un-eventful day so i thought id type that. I have to find some way for mike to go to a haunted house with me. I dont know why this has to be a haunted house, but I think it came to me in a dream. "Oh mikey baby, im scared, hold me", "Oh mikey baby, my teeth are chattering in fright. I bet your tongue could stop it"...Im such a dork. My sister went to some stupid college soccer game, then my dad drove all the way over there to pick her up but she wanted to spend the night at her friends house. He let her for some reason. I made orange jello. I like orange jello. Its not as good as raspberry though. I have raspberry. I dont know why I didnt make it. Kelly said so at... 10:40, 10/5/02 wearing: guess jeans, american eagle (yuck! i had no idea it was american eagle until i got to school. my friend gave it to me a year ago and its one of the only long sleeved shirts i have) hair: pony tail because my hair feels dirty, even though i washed it last night accessories: gel bracelets shoes: my sissies slippies socks: cow socks eating: spray candy stuff which is making my throat hurt worse gum?: nothing drinking: tea with honey and lemon i feel: bored again, sick tunez: jimmy eat world-the middle Again, no internet. But this'll be on my site anyways because Im going down to the office and using their computer. I really dont feel good, and I have to ref soccer tomorrow. I dont want to but I need the money. I had 2 tests today I didn't know about. One was in geography and he other in math. I missed 2 in math and got an 89 or something, but I think I did really bad on my geography one. In 4th period Im a student aide, and the class was in the computer lab (its a journalism class, they do the school newspaper) and they were typing up the articles. This girl who I doubt had ever seen a computer in her life was attempting to type but was getting nowhere fast. My "friend" is her partner, and she got mad at me when I offered to type it for her. Jeepers, shes really bugging me. In science we did the stupid "how many drops of water can you get onto a penny" experiment, that Ive done every year since 2nd grade. All day today I thought it was the 3rd and I wrote that on all of my papers. I have such a boring life that I have to type stuff like that. I went to pick up my sister from school and she was surrounded by boys. The big sisters supposed to be the cool one and the little sister is supposed to be a dork who can't live up to her sisters expectations. I wish. Ill probably put up a new layout when I get the internet back on. I really cant wait until wednesday to see mike. I might have to look through the phone book. Now I know what number his phone number starts with (in class we did this little survey thing, and phone number was one of the questions we werent supposed to read outloud. He started reading it before the teacher told him to stop) and what his last name starts with (i wish i would've payed better attention). Maybe he's a mike junior... Now I have to go down to the office and put this up. Kelly said so at... 4:05, 10/4/02 Ok, its later the same day. The computer at the office is down, but my dad called the phone company and got stuff cleared up, so now im ACTUALLY online. my grandma went bye bye. shes in england. no church for 3 weeks, but that also means no donuts or chance of seeing mikey baby for 3 weeks other than at bible school. i really dont feel good. i wish i didnt have to ref tomorrow. my daddys making potato soup for dinner, maybe that'll make me feel better. ill write tomorrow, bye Kelly said so at... 8:27, 10/4/02 wearing: dark mudd jeans and green shirt thats hard to describe hair: down and it was curled earlier accessories: gel bracelets shoes: converse socks: white ankles eating: a grilled cheese sandwich. i havent had one in a LONG time, so its really nummy gum?: nope drinking: nothing i feel: bored tunez: pink-dont let me get me I am still internetless. I have nothing to do with my time, but today I had my homework done at 7:00! I dont think thats happened since 6th grade. My "friend" is still mad at me and I have no idea why...still. I dont know why Im her friend in the first place. I would almost rather eat lunch alone. I think Im the stupid kid in class first period. My stupid teacher made overhead copies of some of the really good and some of the really bad papers. Im not sure, but I think one of the bad papers was mine. I guess I didnt show my work, but I normally do. The stupid thing is, I always miss problems when I write them out and hardly ever miss when I do them in my head. I cant wait until wednesday... I get to see mike again. Hes so cute and cool and... yeah. In my ym magazine I got these stickers that look like they were taken with an i-zone. One of the pictures is of someone doing the loser sign thing...You know what I mean? Hopefully. I want to put one on my forehead when I go next week. It gets me attention. Im a sicko. In 3rd period yesterday we were all putting them on our foreheads. Theres one with a mans hairy chest (or atleast I hope its a man), a monkey thing, a hot dog on a fork, and...more. I think Im sick. My throat hurts really bad. I started to write my christmas list, but I have alot less on there than usual. I cant really think of what I want. It was mainly clothes and stuff...And I want the Sims Unleashed. Speaking of sims, I FINALLY got people to get married! It wasn't as extravagent as I thought it would be...And I thought they might be able to move into the womans house. The guy's is a sty and it doesnt match at all. I did that on purpose so it would look like a regular bachelor pad. Now I have to rebuild it. Yuck. Kelly said so at... 8:51, 10/3/02 wearing: baggy whisker wash jeans, dopey shirt hair: down and curled out accessories: gel bracelets, and my i love boys bracelet(its cheesy so i wrote "too bad they all hate me" below it, im such a dork) shoes: converse socks: froggies eating: nothing gum?: bubblicious drinking: kerns smoothie nectar thing, they sound gross but their really good i feel: happy! for the first time in a month tunez: new found glory- my friends over you The stupid phone company turned off the phone even though my dad mailed the bill on Saturday, so Im writing this in word and then I'll paste it onto my site. I forgot to say that yesterday I won Homework Hotline...Not that its such a big deal or anything... Everyone was mad at me today. Or like, 2 people were. One of them happened to be my only "friend" there. Shes really only my quote un-quote friend because shes kinda a dork too and one of the only people that talks to me. She wouldnt admit she was mad at me either. You know how I had bible school stuff today? With Kevin and Philly cheese steak (im a dork)... Guess who was there? Just take a guess. Ill give you 30 seconds to think it over, then Ill tell you. Ready? Good. MIKE(Y BABY)! He still hasn't been online in a month... I was really scared to see him though because of the... wet'n'wild incident. My dad was late picking me up, so he went over and talked to me after! Jeepers, Im so excited. Im starving for attention so much its sad. I brought icky-picky there and was petting and beating him the whole class. I think me and mike are soul mates because we both hold our pencil the same way. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but he's the only other person I know that holds it like me. I guess Ive never mentioned it, but I put like... Its hard to describe... I put my middle, ring, and index finger on the top of the pencil with my index finger arched up high and my thumb on the bottom. I cant write any other way. Isnt it weird though, if you think about it? In other news: I had student council today. Nothing happened there. Thats about it. Now I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of ozz. I mean, to do my homework. Yeah, my homework....(Im still not over my ... phase, I think I need psycological counseling) Kelly said so at... 8:50, 10/2/02 wearing: guess jeans, black and red striped rugby shirt hair: down and it was curled under... accessories: this silver bracelet thing, gel bracelets, red arm cuff with the star on it shoes: etnies w/ black and red laces socks: im getting boring, im just wearing white ankle socks again eating: nothing, but im about to have a quesedilla gum?: big red drinking: nothing i feel: cold, confused tunez: right now jimmy eat world is on, but im listening to a cd the stapler/lotion eater made me... I know I typed yesterday. But of course it didnt save. Why would it? I talked about the highlights of my day, which sound kinda stupid. I made pudding, got my mix cd, and saw...someone walking home from school. No, it wasn't you know who you know who. I got kicked off the internet about a week ago. Im not sure if it was cuz I said frickin (bad kelly), cuz I had a link to my site (whats wrong with it?), or cuz I did a post about Adam's Song(I dont remember what I said). Any who, aol sent me this: The issue that you brought to our attention online is something that you may want to talk to someone about. Go to Keyword: Teen Help for the names of some organizations that may be able to help you with this issue and any other issues that you are facing right now. That made me laugh. I went to the 99 cents store! Im such a dork, but I love it there. All I got was candy, but its cheap there... Oh, and an eye lash curler that I doubt works. What else... Hmm...I dont think much else happened today. I have bible school tomorrow(sarcastic yippee), but I actually am happy cuz I get to see Kevin and Phil, not Philly Cheese Steak...Ill bring Icky Picky. This guy Doug wants me to change his name to Daquanesha or something. You can't just go around changing Elf-Fairy-Mole-Rats names like that. Changing Rooms is on BBC America. I finally got digital cable, but Im still watching pretty much the same shows as before. Oh well, Bye Bye Miss American Pie... Kelly said so at... 10/01/02 wearing: pj pants and gray tank top pj shirt hair: down accessories: none shoes: converse socks: white ankle ones again eating: lasagna, gawd im a pig gum?: none drinking: chocolate milk, which i havent had in a long time i feel: mad tunez: Adam's Song again, but its not as good to me now because I know what its about. Its not about somebody committing suicide, its about being on tour. I looked for the lyrics, and it said so. I only have about 2 minutes, cuz my mom thinks I get into trouble on the internet after 10...It sucks. Not much happened today. I had church today, and my sister acted like an idiot. I hate my parents, now I have to get off. Ill write more about my day tommorrow. If I dont kill myself. Bye Kelly said so at... 10:00, 9/29/02 wearing: blue cotton pj pants, blue todays not your day shirt hair: down with backwards hat accessories: 34 gel bracelets *yes, i counted*, fuzzy red wrist cuff thing with a black star on it... shoes: slippers socks: white ankle ones eating: chips and salsa from baja fresh...i think i stabalized my weight, so i can decide i want to lose more at any time...my goal is 110 or something by the end of the year... gum?: none drinking: sunkist orange soda i feel: yucky tunez: Adam's Song, Blink 182, again Im full and I dont feel good...Oh well. I havent written in 5 days. The guy who was supposed to have moved didnt. Thats kinda a good thing, kinda not. Now I dont have an excuse to call him. Im in year book club, so maybe thats a good reason to snap a shot of him...evil Kelly. 6th period was kinda ok on Friday. Someone actually talked to me. He asked why I never talked...I said cuz when I do everyone is a complete ass hole to me. I dont remember what I said next, but for some reason he said that must suck. I have a B in health and a's in all of my other classes, so if I want straight A's Im gonna have to bring one of those baby's home for extra credit. In geography we had to do this geotopia thing. It was an imaginary country that we had to draw on posterboard and turn it into a map and stuff...Mine was called Crayoland. It was colorful. I dont know if I wrote about him before, but this weird guy who followed my mom home from the bus stop about two months ago, spent the night, and made phone calls in a womans voice to get tickets to austin powers and a pass into the playboy party came over on Thursday. It was when I was home alone and I was kinda freaked out by him. Hes mean too. He took over the computer and TV, borrowed $15 from my dad and we havent seen him since. I start bible school Wednesday. Yippee. Im actually really happy though, cuz my church is full of hot guys, lol. I have to wear something cute that day. Icky Picky is going too. Have you guys met Icky Picky? I dont think Ive mentioned him. Hes my little friend who everyone pretends they cant see. Hes about 5 inches tall, has blue skin, a long nose, 3 fingers on each hand, red wart things(which are cute), orange wings, red and white adidas, green hair that is curled out on the bottom, and a pointed red hat that has mushroom-ish white spots on it. Its kinda sick I have to do things like this for people to talk to me, but I do it anyways. Kevin and Philly Cheese Steak like him. They show their affection by pretending to shoot him. Its weird; If people don't know Im a dork they think Im cool, or atleast they pretend to. I was going to put up a new layout today, but I was just too lazy. Ill write tomorrow, bye. Kelly said so at... 10:27, 9/28/02 wearing: dark mudd jeans, superman shirt with a weird neck hair: straight and down shoes: etnies w/red and blue laces socks: white ankle ones eating: cheez its and cream cheese (low fat, thats all the stupid store had) gum?: none drinking: blazin' blueberry hi-c thingy i feel: happy, sad, sleepy tunez: nope I haven't written all weekend, so Ill start with late friday. Friday night, my little sister had shelby (eww), Jessica(her sister, double eww), and brittany (nice but triple eww cuz she rarely bathes). They got in a stupid fight because my sister wanted to play her game but shelby and jessica didnt. She always plays what they want, but at her sleep over they cant even play one game she wants to. So shelby left (yay!) and jessica was crying. When she stopped and after the room was totally destroyed my mom went in and told them to start getting ready for bed at midnight. A few minutes later, of course, jessica wants to go home. I was happy about this. In the morning, my dad made doughnuts(nummy, but fattening) and then brittany left(yay!). My sister had a soccer game, and I went because my grandma was going and she always takes them out to lunch when I dont go. It was really hot and I honestly cant remember if they won or lost. After, like I thought, we went out to lunch. We went to a buffet and I had a made to order omelette that the chef didn't cook right. He put mushrooms in it instead of jalepenos and it was practically raw. After lunch, we said bye bye to my grandma and went off to the mall(yay, it'd be a bigger yay if it wasnt with my parents). I got an arm cuff and some gel bracelets from hot topic, and a superman shirt (the one with the weird neck) at hot cats. We didnt get home until 8 because it was way on the other side of town. I don't remember what I did after that...On Sunday, church, boring, nothing much happened. Now to today, Monday. You know the guy who moved? He didn't. I think he just wanted hugs and phone numbers. Ill ask him why tomorrow. Im kinda happy because, hey, hes at school. But Im kinda sad because now I cant look for his phone number and call him up anymore...I still hate 6th period. My moms hurrying me to get off. I have this stupid english test tomorrow, IVOC. I wouldnt have known if I wasnt in student council because the teacher memo was wrong and she told us it was on wednesday...I feel so lucky. Kelly said so at... 10:44, 9/23/02 wearing: plain old mudd jeans and a plain old white shirt hair: curly yet again shoes: converse again socks: frogs eating: gold fish gum?: none drinking: nothing i feel: sad and angry tunez: Adams Song over and over again I had a dance today. People (ugly people) kept asking me to dance and then laughing. 4 people. I wanted to cry. Then probably the only guy at my school who hasnt made me want to run home and end it all asked me what was wrong (I was leaning against the bleachers) and I told him nothing. He asked if I wanted to hang out with him and his friends and I said no. He said to come find him if I changed my mind. I eventually got up the guts and went over there. He told me he was moving. I said stuff like o really etc... but at the end of the dance when all of the girls were hugging him I could barely stop myself from crying. Everyone else was, but I figured since I hardly knew him theyd think I was a dork. When I got home I cried my eyes out, and Im starting to now. I have to find his email address or something. Even though I never really talked to him, life wont be the same. I got out of 6th period today to decorate for the dance. Who knows what what would've happened if I had to go to that stupid class. Im about to cry again. I still want to go to high school online. I hope my parents will let me. Im dropping out of the play, or atleast Im trying to. I can't handle anything else going on in my life. I think Im becoming manic depressive or something. I dont want to stop crying, either. Kelly said so at... 6:57, September 20th, 2002 wearing: guess jeans, black money tank top hair: curly again shoes: converse socks: not quite ankle socks, a little higher eating: nothing gum?: none drinking: water i feel: i havent been happy for a few days, todays no different tunez: none I want to get my 6th period class changed. I hate everyone in there. I have to sit by the worst ones, too. For high school, I want to go to school online. I cant deal with school anymore. I wanna put duct tape on something. I dont know what, but I like it now. I need new clothes. I want a few pairs of cargo pants, some big tenny's and stuff...As if you care. This annoying little friend of my sister came over today well my sister was at soccer practice. She wouldnt leave me alone. We had this weird foreign substitute that didnt know anything. Im hungry. Im gonna go eat lettuce or something. Bye. I was just typing really slow because thats what I do when Im sad, I just noticed now. I used to type all happily and stuff, and use words like shtuffz. I wannna do that again some day. Kelly said so at... 7:51, 9/19/02 wearing: dark jeans, chargers jersey hair: all curlyfull shoes: etnies with blue and yellow laces socks: white ankle ones eating: nothing gum?: trident whitening drinking: i keep getting up to drink pickle juice i feel: depressed tunez: nothing I was just listening to Blink 182's "Adam's Song". Its really sad and my mom was listening to it too and she got into this big lecture about suicide, because thats what the songs about. Her friend committed suicide and her friends daughter tried to. She was talking about how selfish it was, but I only think its selfish if theres anyone left who cares. They both had friends, daughters, boyfriends. I have none of that. I doubt Id kill myself for two reasons: plasic surgery, and Im just afraid of the pain of the actual suicide, no matter how you do it. Im too depressed, to go on, but you'll be sorry when I'm gone. Never conquered, rarely cared 16 (13) just felt such better days. I never thought, Id die alone. Another 6 months Ill be unknown. Please tell mom this is not her fault. Those are some lines to Adams Song, as if you care. Oh, I retract my comment "Bob the Amish" from yesterday or whenever that was. I had open house tonight at school and ofcourse my parents had to go. My mom completely humiliated me when she had to frigging scream out a question in front of a class that already thinks Im a total nerd. She doesnt want me to have friends. Nothing good happened today, so Im just going to bed, night. Kelly said so at... 10:34, 9/18/2002 wearing: baggy whisker wash jeans, dopey shirt hair: down shoes: converse socks: white eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: nothing i feel: happy/weirded out tunez: nothing One of my crushes said hi to me today, and he knew my name! Im happy any time anyone says anything to me though, its kinda sad. Im weirded out because this 19 year old guy im'd me and really freaked me out. He asked what I looked like. I told him I had a huge ass and he thought it was sexy. Itd be cool if the guys at my school thought so, lol. He asked what I was wearing...underneath. It was pretty perverted. The girl that I went to wet'n'wild with wants me to spend the night at her house so we can tp this girl brookes house...I told her no. She was such a bitch last time I saw her. I had year book club today. I hate those little survey things you have to fill out. One of the questions was "who is your dream date?"I put anyone under 40 and over 7. "Why did you join yearbook club?" I said it was because I dont have a life. "What do none of your friends think you can do but you are certain you can do?" My friend doesnt have a good enough vocabulary to express such a feeling. It was pretty depressing. Ummm....Oh yeah. A girl laid in a tomb will become a mummy. Love, peace, and chicken grease! Kelly said so at... 4:53, 9/17/02 wearing: comfy pants and old navy shirt but im about to change hair: towel even though I got out of the shower an hour and a half ago shoes: slippers socks: none eating: butter and sour cream with a little bit of baked potato gum?: nope drinking: vanilla coke i feel: i feel nothing today tunez: nfg I didnt type any more yesterday but I have a good reason. I was deeply disturbed and traumatized. To protect the un-innocent I wont name names but you know who you are and what you did. Ok,moving on, Halloweens coming up(well, sorta, in a month and a half) and if I can find someone to go with I want to be an escaped mental patient and they can be an escaped convict. Just a couple of orange and blue jumpsuits and lotsa hair spray. If I cant find someone to go with, send me your best ideas and Ill give you a...prize, yeah, thats it, a prize. The person's idea that I use will get...dun dun dun dun! the exact same prize as everyone else. I have a meeting about that play I told you about in an hour and its a billion miles away so I better go. Bob the Amish. Kelly said so at... 5:32, 9/14/02 wearing: mudd jeans and gray mickey mouse shirt hair: piggy tails with bangs curled (or atleast they were) shoes: converse socks: white ankle socks eating: nuttin drinking: fruit works i feel: I was ok but now im mad tunez: Blink 182 which is pissing my mom off IM SO MAD! I JUST TYPED ALL THIS CRAP AND NOW IVE GOTTA DO IT AGAIN. IM NOT WRITING ALL THAT AGAIN. Im such a retard. I may or may not have just rushed to what may or may not be my house because someone I may or may not know may or may not be coming here and I dont want what may or may not be a him to see what I may or may not have written about crushes I may or may not have because they may or may not know one of them. Ill just sum up the rest of what I wrote like I did when my computer crashed that other time: I wish student council didnt have to go to the dances. I just lean on the bleachers the entire dance and watch everone else with their friend having fun. I hate 6th period because people (maybe) laugh at me. I gave everyone opposite sex names (dont ask why) and 3 people scirbbled them out. Do I gross you out when I put how ugly I am and what I eat? This girl in the g-book said I did. Ill put up a new layout in a few days when I can stop being so lazy. When I got home from school my lil friend Tara was outside with my sister and she wanted to play ring around the rosy and patty cake. Its hard to refuse no matter how much you dont want to. We had a stupid sub in math today. She was late, didnt tell us we couldnt use calculators 'til we were done, and she was just... scary. We dont have school Monday. Im so happy. I dont feel like typing anymore, bye. Kelly said so at... 3:20, 9/13/Y2K2 wearing: guess jeans, blue today is not your day shirt hair: kinda curled under, but messy shoes: etnies with red/blue laces socks: froggiez my lil sis got me eating: nothing gum?: big red drinking: vanilla coke i feel: i guess im happy and exited tunez: nothing As you probably all know, its September 11th. There was nothing on TV today except tributes and stuff. It got kinda depressing, so I came on here. You know who hasnt been on since the wet'n'wild incident. I hope he didnt block me or something, that would suck. I love all of them so much! Sign the guest book! Oh yeah, God Bless America. Kelly said so at... 10:35, September 11th, 2002 wearing: my dopey shirt and baggy whisker wash jeans hair: down and messy shoes: converse socks: short white ones eating: won-ton soup (I told my dad I didnt want any but he gave me some anyways) drinking: nothing i feel: cant decide tunez: Blink 182 As you can see, I put up a new September 11th layout. Tomorrow all of the 8th graders have to wear blue, and if we do we get a "bean" (from harry potter, bertie botts every flavor beans, lol, its the "reward system". am i useing to many "quotes" today?)for every person that does.I looked so ugly today, it was sick. I tried all of these different ways of putting on make up but none of them worked. I can never remember my locker combination so I wrote it down, but now I locked it in my locker. Im such an idiot. Last night I cut out peoples eyes, lips, foreheads, and noses to see what I wanted to look like when I get plastic surgery. PLEASE sign up for the useless fact/joke of the day newsletter! Im a dork, ignore me. Kelly said so at... 9:32, September 10th, 2002 wearing: mudd jeans and red and black rugby shirt hair: pig-tails with bangs out shoes: slippers socks: lime green frog ones eating: enchiladas w/lotsa sour cream (leftovers from dinner last night, even though im fat as hell) gum?: big red drinking: smoooooooothie i feel: kinda good tunez: new found glory, right now sonny's playing Last night my mom decided I should die my bangs (not really bangs just where I used to have 'em) blonde with her leftovers. I finally gave in, but when I rinsed it looked really bad. I tried dieing my hair with coffee (dont ask)and all it did was make a mess and make myself smell like coffee. In the morning I couldnt get my stupid locker open so I got in trouble in math. I was refereeing soccer Saturday and during one game the coach didn't have his player card and in the other the teams had the same color uniforms. On Friday my siser and everyone got in another fight with the neighbors. Thats all they ever do. This time it was because my sister has this friend (shes in 5th grade) with the reading level of a kindergartener, a 4 year old brother who runs around with no clothes on at 10:00 at night by himself and another friend of my sister's mom's called child protective services on them, but denies it. So my dad is walking the girl home, and the mom tells him to "tell his daughter to stop spreading rumors that she called cps". I can't believe they didn't take them away. Shes always home by her self, and she missed 3 months of school last year because... actually, I have no idea why. I cant wait 'til tomorrow so I can see all the hotties at my school!LOL, I still love you know who too... But he hasn't been on in like, 2 or 3 weeks. I blew my diet again. I went out to dinner on Saturday and had CANDY 2 days in a row! I wish I didnt want to eat, but I have to! Kelly said so at... 5:59, September 9, 2002 wearing: my new guess jeans and my red guess shirt hair: pony tail (it was curled earlier) shoes: converse socks: cows (yeah, something other than frogs) eating: nothing gum?: none drinking: iced tea i feel: happy, depressed (explain later) tunez: Jimmy Eat World "The Middle" just off of their site, dont have that cd either, and Im about to listen to American Pie, I still love that song I feel like I'm high. I had so much caffiene today. It feels really good. Now to the depressed part. Im no beauty queen, but there are alot uglier people at my school. Ill probably die single, but I don't think I'm ugly enough or fat enough to get made fun of. But I guess I think wrong. Im a student aide 4th period for the teacher that also does student council. Since I'm in student council, she sent me around looking for teachers to chaperone the dance. I went into one of the rooms and some guy who had no right to make fun of me because he was probably 100 lbs over weight and had a bad hair cut was like, "can I have your phone number?" (and no he wasn't serious, he was being an ass hole) Then everyone else joined in and one guy said "Hey, I need a girlfriend, wanna go out with me?" I hate school. I want to do that thing where you go on the internet. Oh, I auditioned for a play, "A Christmas Carol" yesterday and made it. I have no idea how, my singing was good, but I had to do a monolouge and I just wrote something about 5 minutes before I left and read it. It was really stupid. New Found Glory is coming on October 4th and I really want to see them. Tickets are only $20 but I don't have any friends to go with. Gawd I hate myself. I have to referee soccer tomorrow, Im so happy (not). I cant wait to wake up at 6 in the morning to chase around some 6 year olds for 6 bucks an hour. 666, thats the devils number. I hope nothing bad happens tomorrow, lol. This nerd is leaving, bye. Kelly said so at... 10:59, September 6, Y2K2 wearing: my pj pants with the ducks on them and a gray tank top hair: pony tail shoes: slippers socks: froggies eating: nuttin gum?: big red again, but it lost its flavor drinking: water i feel: fat tunez: New Found Glory, but just off their website, I dont have the cd:( I cheated again today. I had turkey and PIE! It was good though. Oh yeah, I had butterfinger ice cream too. I hate myself. I got more emails from this site today than I have ever since its been up because I advertised it on the aol message boards. Lol. Look in the g-book. See that loser that said my page makes him/her want to hurl? They were too chicken to put their name or email address. He he. You know what song kicks ass? Complicated by Avril Lavigne. I love that song(but shes stupid). I love NFG's My Friends Over You too. I know you couldnt care less but I told you anyway. Guess what I heard? An astonishing %8 of teenagers have tried pot! Is that a load of crap or what? Maybe it was a typo and it was supposed to be %88. And they found this out through a survey. What idiot is gonna admit they've used pot to some government agency thing? I can hear the hand cuffs locking now. Maybe it was just the ones that were out of it and high on pot who admitted it, lol. My sissy's coming home from cali 2day, they won 1 or 2 of the 2 games in the tourney, cuz those california teams kick ass. They also probably lost because the best player on the team broker her arm and they only let her play in one game for some reason. My sister broker her arm once (ok, twice and sprained it once) and they let her play as long as it had padding. Last year the older version of my sisters team lost 12 to 0. Hows school? Good. Im glad someone likes it. I had to get some more stupid school supplies today and I called ahead to make sure office max had fabric book covers, they said they did. When I got there about an hour later after church they were sold out. So we had to drive to the other side of town to get them at another office max that had 400! Then of course they didnt have atlas's, so I had to get one at target. My knee hurts like hell too, but I dont know why. One quick request: dont email me asking if I have been saved yet or saying that the grace of god will give me eternal happiness, got one of those yesterday. L8ter Kelly said so at... 11:30, 9/1/02 wearing: plain old jeans with a turquoise top with a white collar hair: down and messy shoes: converse socks: short white eating: its hard to explain, its gunk that was left on the cookie sheet after my dad made paper wrapped chicken (little pieces of chicken cooked in tin foil) and the teriaki sauce got all thick and stuck to the pan, its really good, lol gum?: big red drinking: ice tea i feel: tired, full, mad at myself tunez:none I cheated on my stupid diet for 3 days in a row. The other day I had lasagna when we went out to dinner, yesterday I had a sandwich and probably other stuff (doesnt sound like much but compared to what I have been eating it is), and today I had salad and bread sticks from olive garden, half a bagel (I spent the night at my grandmas cuz my sisters out of town so she wanted to take me shopping and to see a movie), and for dinner I had, read above, paper wrapped chicken, rice, and pine apple. Im not eating anything tomorrow. I hate being fat! I got some cute guess jeans today, and I'm not even saying what size they are. They are a little big on me, but not much. I am kinda happy because pants I got 2 months ago are falling down on me unless I wear a tight shirt to hold them up. You know who hasn't been on in a while, and I hope he didn't change his screen name or anything. Oh yeah, I started school. 8th grade. Whoopee. To tell you the truth, it sucks. Still no friends, and we only have 3 minutes passing period. Ive been late to science (which is inside, not outside door) every day because one of the stupid teachers won't let us go through the stupid hall way to get to stupid room 100 because the entire school is stupid. We have to walk all the way around the school, practically running like the 6th graders and we still dont get there on time. If youve been here before, you know what a nerd I am and my geography teacher made us get in groups and we "got to" pick them ourselves. If I had friends it wouldnt matter, but I got stuck with this kid David. We had to name our group, so I decided we should be the Nobody likes us, Every body hates us, might as well go eat worms. My goal is to make a friend over the age of 7 by the middle of this school year (Justyne doesn't count because we hardly ever talk and I dont think she likes me). Why am I kidding myself? The weirdest thing is, you'd think someone would want to have an ugly friend so that if you ever saw a cute guy, sompared to me they'd look hot and they'd know I could never steal him from her. My perfect little joy to have in the family sister is in San Diego now doing her soccer tournament. Sure, Kelly wants to do indoor rock climbing, but screw her. Have you seen that South Park episode when Cartman's mom wants to get an abortion during her 30th trimester (hes nine)? Thats what I think my parents want. Im gonna go to sleep and think happy thoughts, bye. Kelly said so at... 11:45, 8/31/02 tunez: none, but that stupid Kids Bop commercial is on wearing: my pajamas again, I just got out of the shower hair: Ive got my turbie twist on... yeah shoes: slippers socks: gray ones to match my top eating: nothing gum?: juicy fruit drinking: water (I want a dr. pepper sooo bad) i feel: clean, mad, excited, tired tunez: none, but that stupid Kids Bop commercial is on Ive been updating alot lately mostly cuz this guy Linze told me to, I still like it when my crush is on even though I know he thinks Im a dweeb, and because I dont have a life. If anyone here ever has a sudden urge to use nair, don't. It stings and doesn't work. Then I used my stupid fake tan stuff because Im fish belly white and going to wet'n'wild tomorrow. I hope I am anyways. The same "friend" who had the bright idea to invite you know who there is really flaky. First we're going then she doesn't know then it's totally definate and now it's she'll be there but now we have to find a way to ditch Brooke because she doesn't like me (I dont like her either, shes such a bitch) and every idea I have Justyne doesn't think will work. Anyways... OMG, Wet'N'Wild is so fun. Theres Durstuka which is just a big huge water slide and the black hole and the lazy river and the wave pool and..... is so fun! It'd be alot funner if I was skinny and tan though... I hate me. Later Kelly said so at... wearing: my pajamas still, I just woke up an hour ago hair: in heidi braids from last night shoes: slippers socks: colorful striped ones eating: one of those pie things that you used to get in elementary school, or atleaast I did gum?: nope drinking: nothing i feel: iffy again tunez: Im actually listening to American Pie again, but Ill pretend I'm not, no tunez Last night my dad came home after losing 50 dollars and getting kicked out of the casino for punching some guy. I guess he kinda had it coming because he was taking my dads money and stuff but then he said he was gonna go to where he works (I guess he was still wearing his uniform) and kick the guys ass. He knows how much it pisses me off when he comes home drunk acting like an idiot. My sisters at her stupid soccer party/picture day/practice/hike. Not everyones parents on the team are brain surgeons (yep, one of the girls dads is actually a brain surgeon) and lawyers. They had a fireworks booth to try and pay for the uniforms. My dad sold $2,000 worth but he still had to pay $115 dollars. Then its $300 for the trip to San Diego for a stupid tournament, $20 for MANDATORY pictures. Her stupid soccer team is driving us to the poor house. Ok, not much else to say cept that my computer froze when I tried to put the poll up and it occurred to me that it would just depress me more if I knew how many friends everyone had, so Im not putting it up. Kelly said so at... 2:57, August 24, Y2K2 wearing: baggy jeans and too hot shirt(too hot, funny, huh?) hair: down with rubber bands, not that I have anyone to impress shoes: purple slippers again socks: short black ones that say 21 on them eating: rice gum?: im eating right now but I have big red waiting for me on the side of my bowl, lol drinking: juice i feel: iffy0 tunez: Im listening to American Pie again, I love the parts where he says "did you right the book of love" and "I was a lonely teenage bronckin buck with a pink carnation and a pickup truck" Noones a virgin cuz lifes screwed us all. I don't know whats wrong with me, but now I see how stupid I was being. The guy I liked (Im still practically in love with him but whats the point), Im still calling him that, liked another girl at the church thing and she gave me her number to give to him. I said I had lost it because I wanted him, but I know Ill never have him so why shouldn't she? Ofcourse, when I gave him her number today (I found it) and he didnt have a girlfriend then. I give up. I'm on a diet and I think I lost 10 lbs, but its not like I have anyone to impress. Im still fat too. My sister got into another fight with one of the other kids. This little Russian kid is the strongest and strongest tempered 6 year olds I've ever seen. He was beating people up with a little plastic baseball bat, and those things hurt alot. Then he went and got his 11 year old brother who was no better than him. He was running over everyone on his bike and they kept talking Russian to each other so I had no idea what he was telling him to do.Im putting up a poll on the bottom of the page to see how much of a loser I am. Its about how many friends everyone has. Lets see... I have one, maybe 2. Neither of which would care if they never saw me again. Now your turn. Still depressed Kelly said so at... 9:32,8/23/2002 wearing: overalls and Guess shirt hair: backwards red hat shoes: black converse(new!) socks: red short ones eating: bar-b-q sauce (I love condiments) gum?: big red drinking: nothing i feel: really really bad tunez: dont laugh, Im listening to American Pie by Don McClean (its a good song) I hate myself so much. My supposed "friend" Justyne and me are going to wet'n'wild (a water park, its the last day its open) on Sunday and she had the genius idea to invite my crush. I told her no but finally went along with it. I told her exactly what to say but she screwed up and then hes like, I have a girlfriend and making up stupid excuses like he has to help his mom open a new school or some stupid thing like that. Im never getting a crush again. Im never going outside again, Im just staying in my room all day or going online and blocking his screen name. Not one of my crushes has turned out good, probably because Im ugly and fat and personalityless. Life sucks. All I wanted was a friend, not much to ask since everyone else has them, but thats what I get for thinking anyone would like hanging out with me. Its the funniest thing Ive ever heard. Now I'm going to cry myself to sleep. Oh yeah, school starts monday. Another 1,500 people that hate me. Yay. Depressed Kelly said so at... 10:02, 8/22/02 wearing: these black stretchy sportsy pants with white stripes down the side, sandiego butterfly shirt hair: messy ponytail thingy shoes: etinies with black and red laces socks: red short onez eating: bubbleicious blueberry drinking: water i feel: mad at myself tunez: none. nothing. zilch. I am soooo mad! All I talk about is my crushes but thats all that goes on in my life, so Ill go on. (flip of the hair) member the friend and screen name thing? (if not read below) well, neways, I sorta went through with it. I made my sister tell him on her screen name so I wouldnt have to lie to my future hubby (laughs)by saying I was my friend and have him ask her some day (wedding day? more laughs) about it and leave me at the alter (rofl)I feel so sick. he didnt even say cool or anything, just who are you. I tried to make a new layout but something freakys going on. and i think this ones messed up, i messed up the code or something. Kelly Said so at... 8:37, 7-30-2oo2 wearing: red guess shirt, jeans and a cool belt hair: down and curled shoes: none socks: should I take this off? It seems like all I ever wear is frog socks! eating: lasagna for dinner, chewin on doublemint gum drinking: vanilla coke (in one of those cups with the straw built in, narf!) i feel: cant decide tunez: Blink 182 I cant decide if I should be really happy or really depressed. The cute guy got on the internet and either saw I was on and signed off, or saw I wasnt on and signed off (ill explain in a sec) Youre gonna think Im really sick but I made a sn really close to my friends and I was gonna sign onto that sn and tell him that "kelly" likes him. He then (in a perfect world) says, "o boy jeepers, golly gosh aint that the swellest most smittenist thing you ever did hear? whats her phone number?" and the second he got on I went to that screen name and he was gone. ):):):): Life sucks, dont it? Nobody probably reads this and thats the only reason I type all this personal crap. Kelly said so at... 10:22, July 29th, 2oo2 wearing: overalls, british flag shirt hair: down w/ red hat shoes: etnies w/ red and blue laces socks: different frog socks eating: lemon heads (my cheeks hurt!) A drinking: water i feel: sooooo happy! tunez: green day Im happy again cuz the guy I met at camp was at this thing at church 2day! I didnt do anything other than talk to him and I got his email address! I cant believe I actually had the guts to ask! He still probably thinks Im a dork, and he likes all the other girls there, but I dont care! Not much else going on in my life, might get the new layout up soon. tootles. Kelly said so at... 9:29, 7/24/02 wearing: comfy pants and San Diego T hair: twisty thingies shoes: purple slipperz socks: frog ones my sister got me eating: frosted flakes drinking: hawaian punch i feel: bored, tired tunez: nothing I dont really have much to say, but im actually gonna add that survey thing i told you about. i went to my little cousins birthday party yesterday (hate his guts, but my mom made me go) and i got these weird bubbles that like, dont pop. one got stuck in my hair and i didnt even realize it. how was your fourth of july? mine was good cuz i got to see my cousin joey, hes so cute! we all thought hed be scared, but he had fun. umm... thats all folks! Kelly said so at... 12:59, July 14, 2002 wearing: red angel top, whisker wash baggy jeans hair: dirty, down shoes: none socks: striped colorful ones eating: baja fresh chips and shalsha drinking: vanilla coke i feel: happyish sad tunez: nothing why am i happy and sad? cuz there was this perfect guy on this trip i took to zion, but ill never see him again! i know he probably thought i was the ugliest girl on the planet, but i dont care. its pretty sad that im telling this to all these people ive never met before, but maybe thats a good thing. it seems like i get a new crush every week but i really do like all of them! if youve stopped reading by now, your probably the only sane one around here, and im sorry for ranting and raving about him for so long, but i couldnt help it! ok, newayze, im starting a survey thingy. just like fill it out, k? my fingers are tired Kelly said so at... 7:22, 7/2/02 wearing: red tank, comfy blue pants hair: meshy shoes: shlipperz socks: short white onez eating: fritoz drinking: why do you ask? dr pepper uv course! i feel: yucky tunez: nothing I stayed home from school today, I dont feel good. I really dont feel like typing, I dont know why I'm updating today.(cough cough, sniff)Umm... I added this newsletter thingy. i was wunderin, does anyone even read the crap i type here? im bored, byez! Kelly said so at... 4:26, May 28, Y2K SPRING BREAK! wearing: overalls, hazard shirt hair: towell(just got out of the shower) shoes: etniez socks: froggies eating: cereal drinking: wawa i feel: cleeeeen tunez: Linkin Park Okay, I typed in sumfink yeshterday, but for some reason, i didnt save it or sumthing! im so frickin pod! ok, Ill shorten the version i put in yeshterday. picture day. short shirt. dress code. pe shirt. no pictures. call mom. phone eat money. no food. no money. now crushes see ugly. remember me spring break. me sad. get all that? good. oh, you know that poem i wrote? its on the menu, its called forever. well, neways, i got it published!!!!!! the book is called "love and luminaries", stupid, huh? ummmm..... oh yeah, i updated inspiration of the week, which i havent updated since last year, lol! im making a new layout, either girl thing or girls rule and boys drool or girls just wanna have fun or something. i already made the graphic, but i cant get the shtoopid image mapper to work! wah. im gonna put up a joke page. will u guys pleeeeeeeeeease email me stuff like jokes, stories and stuff? im starting an add on story. i start it, then people send in the next little part until someone comes up with an ending. im working on it right..... now, bye! Kelly said so at... 1:07, March 23, 2002 okay, its a little later, now its 1:24. the story is done, and if you look at the top of the page theres a link to it! wearing: my comfy pants, blue shirt, purple fuzzy shlipperz hair: beige beanie shoes: shlipperz socks: none eating: nuffink drinking: dr. pepper i feel: sleepy/annoyed tunez: Sum 41 fat lip ok, i got a new keyboard and lots 2 say. right now im installing an image map maker. for christmas, i got lotsa clothes. im just gonnal list all the crap i got... beige plaid pants, red guess shirt,black dkny shirt, overalls, tommy hilfigher jeans, black and red rugby shirt, gray army pants, green sparkly shirt, pj's, purple shlipperz, lotsha sox, ETNIES!!!, tommy hilfigher jacket, 7 days of the week bath and body works lotion, the sims, english candy (love it), 2 hats, phrog paper, sum 41 cd, a rice cooker (narf, i have rice like, every day and i always burn it) tri-bond, a watch, a diamond ring, perfume, and lotsha udder shtuff! ok, now all yall send in what you got and ill post it. i dont know why youd want it posted, but whatever. also, send in your stories, jokes, riddles, poems, and recipes where it says "email". ill have a winner in each category and the winner will forever be remembered as "the winner" , like, whatever, narf! im having a never ending story... just go to the menu and youll see it and click on never ending story, if your to stupid to figure it out yourself... i added a new page called "make fun of life" im making a new layout either today or tomorrow or the next day or something... and send in your words... need an example? like, narf, wowzeroonie, or udder shtuff u shay, i like to add things like ism,ness, ful, and ified. need an example of how to use that? funkified or perfectfulnessablism, narf. i had a dream last night that i was in a casino, with my friend, and i didnt want to be there. so i, like, ran out the door and got on my bike and road downhill home. she caught up to me, and spongebob squarepants and his band were behing her. i woke up and my sister had that show on! i always have dreams like that... speaking of dreams, send in your weirdest ones, the best one ill put on the site! how was all ur christmas's? mine was good... i did NOTHING during christmas break but sit on my fat azz, and thought about what everyone else was doing. i dont feel like typing nemore, i typed 40 lines already(yes, i counted),so, bye...wait, now thats 41 lines! Kelly said so at... 7:39,January 12, 200<b>2</b>! i typed in a hole bunch of crap tice, but my comp fricked up, o im not typing anything, jut telling u im till alive. i cant type one or my comp frick up, bye, im not even putting up the date, but a hint: happy ne year! i ant to apologize for the miing letter, but ome of my letter on my keyboard arent orking! orry... the letter after t and the to letter after v arent orking! i ont update much until it fied, cuz i have to ue codez alot! i havent updated lately cuz until today, none of the letter ere orking! i ent to california friday until unday cuz my iter had a punt pazz and kick competition at a charger raider game. zhe one for the 9 year old girlz in laz vegaz, and got to through the ball at half time. zhe got 3rd place, and he cried for a long time. it ould have been on tv, but the ref had a heart attack. after the game, e ent to the pier and ent on the roller coater. it hard to type, zo im going, bye. Kelly aid o at... 8:31, December 17 wearing: dark jeans and blue todays not your day shirt hair: curled out at the bottoms, black visor shoes: nonesocks: white short ones eating: rock candy (i payed 7 bucks for it!) drinking: dr.pepper i feel: bored Oh my god! Kelly finally decided to update! Yeah, I know its been a long (okay, looooooonnnnggg) time since I've updated, but I have a good excuse! Actually, I dont, but still, lets just be happy I finally am! No new subbies today, but maybe tomorrow, depends on how I feel. I'm in 7th grade now! I have been since Sept. 1, lol. My friend Justynes moving, wah. So today, me, Justyne, Holly, and Stephanie went to the mall and got our pictures taken together. There was a baby just before us, and it took him about 3 minutes to get his pictures taken. It probably took us atleast 10! Me and Holly knocked over the light thingy over, and we couldnt get the poses right! There was only one picture I looked half way decent in, but everyone else looked like crap! So we got the one where we all smiled, and the one with Justyne and Stephanie smiling, and me and Holly looking all serious! Kelly said so at... 8:57, November 12, 2001 wearing: flannel pj baby blue pants and long sleeved blue top hair: pony tail w/rubber bands shoes: none socks: frogs eating: strawberry yogurt drinking: dr.pepper (of course) i feel: confused I'm probably gonna add some more subbies today, I have some ideas. Remember those pictures I told you about? I lost alot of them! They fell out of my binder between 2nd and 3rd period! Anyways, not much to say today, bye.
wearing: superman shirt, baggyish bell bottom jeans hair: down, hat accessories: gel bracelets, red arm cuff shoes: etnies socks: frogs eating: nothing gum?: de-flavorized big red drinking: dr. pepper i feel: annoyed tunez: something corporate-punk rock princess...I'm somewhat obsessed with this song. You wouldn't BELIEVE how much I had typed here the other day. It must've taken me atleast 45 minutes to type, and I'm a pretty fast typist..70 wpm. So that means I had...3,150 words. That's alot of words. But ofcourse my stupid computer decided it wanted to kick me off. I breathed a sigh of relief when I remembered I had copied it, but then my computer decided to be stupid again and not let it paste. I'm SO annoyed. I did that auto-biography thing I talked about, and the entire thing looked like I was just fishing for compliments/looking for peoples pity. I don't do it on purpose, it just comes out like that. On Friday, I took somewhere around 15 Nicktures...pictures of Nick. I was afraid to do it myself, so his friend took the majority of 'em. I took 3 or four, which were of the back of his head. I'm such a sicko. You know what sucks? 90% of the people on my team thingy at school know about my little...obsession. Shirley feels a need to tell everybody, and then they tell everybody, and...yeah. It sucks squared. In 5th period that same day, Billy stole my uber pretty santa hat and was running around the classroom while I chased him. He passed it to Nick. Twice. Once, he put it on his head, which means I can never wash it, despite the fact that Billy put the little fuzzy bobble thing in his mouth. "Ha, you don't mind it if he steals it". I have yet to call Ryan again. I want to sooooooo bad but i have this little feeling that he thinks I'm a total loser, like every other person on the face of the earth does. Today was the first day of winter break, and Christmas Eve Eve. I've been cleaning my room night and day (actually, I cleaned for 2 hours and gave up) so that I can get my presents...But my sisters not cleaning so I don't know what's gonna happen. I can't wait until Christmas. I lurv presents. Yesterday and earlier today me and my little internet friend people busted into other peoples private chat rooms and began singing Christmas carols to them. It was really fun. Someone said they wanted to pour gasoline on me, light me on fire, then use me to roast marshmallows, but it was still fun. These two annoying little girls from my apartments kept emailing me today so I went over to their apartment to tell 'em to quit, but they slammed the door in my face. Ugh. Tomorrow I'm going to Christmas Eve mass, and then my aunts house. I hope Amber's not there...shivvers. I hate her. I don't feel like typing anymore, I'll recap more tomorrow. Kelly said so at... 10:12, 12/23/02
