SAVE THE ENDANGERED LESBIANS OF PARK SLOPE
WHO WILL BE THE LAST LESBIAN IN PARK SLOPE?
THE PROBLEM: SHRINKING LESBIAN POPULATION!
THE SOLUTION: PROTECT THE ENDANGERED LESBIANS!
Once upon a time, in the glorious Lesbolithic Era, lesbians roamed their
native habitat of Park Slope in great numbers. The unique ecosystem of the
slope, with its cheap rents, food co-op, and scattered bars and bistros, is
perfectly suited the lesbian lifestyle. Many lesbians mated for life, and encouraged other dykes to join their thriving community.
But today, the lesbians are being forced out. They are fleeing to Queens and
beyond as their niche is exploited by heterosexual predators.
WHY THE LESBIAN POPULATION IS IN DANGER:
Low birth rate
Lesbians reproduce at a much lower rate than the
rest of the population. And even when they do produce offspring, there
is no guarantee that the child will be a lesbian.
Attrition
The lesbian ranks are thinning. With the rise of "hasbians" and the decline
of lesbian chic, many homosexual women have gone undercover as straights.
The recent defection of celebrity lesbian Anne Heche has particularly hurt
the cause.
Gentrification
Lesbian households are particularly vulnerable to economic changes in park
slope. Think about it: two women, each earning $.74 to every dollar a man
makes can't survive this epidemic of rising rents.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
We intend to offer sponsorship opportunities and other relief programs in
order to fight the lesbian diaspora. Please watch this space for further
information.
Send us e-mail!
