Stormin' Steve Speaks Out!
A Response to John P. Whitman
Notice: This is a rebuke of John P. Whitman
for his writing of the book The KJV vs. the New Versions Issue.
The author, "Stormin'" Steve Tucker, uses some strong language, but
that is only because he, like Jesus, was called to drive the Pharisees out
of God's kingdom. For the comfort of our readers, some of the harsher
words have been replaced by more palatable alternatives in brackets. This
originally appeared in Brother Tucker's newsletter "Stormin' the Gates of
Hell."
Well, Johnny boy, it
would appear that you've taken it upon yourself to write a book. Well
whoop-de-doo-da-day! That's really great for you -- except for the fact
that it's chalk-full of Alexandrian Humanist "believe what you want" crap.
John, did you think that I, along with my Bible-believing
brethren, would fall for this? That, having been grounded in the Word, we
would let you decieve us? We are not blown and tossed by every last
stupid doctrine to come from a satanist pervert!
But I guess you are not so well-grounded. You would print anything
the demonic forces in your stupid little brain tell you to. It's like
Satan cracked open your skull and took a dump inside your head.
Well, screw you, you impertenent little b*stard! You can just
go to hell with all your lying, cheating, decieving minions. If you and
your stupid homo friends weren't spending all your time [engaging in
relations], you'd have the time to actually sit down and find
out what the real Bible says about f*gg*ts.
But as it is, you wouldn't know the word of God if it flew up your
[rear end] (in part because everything else has already been up
there). You, Johnny-Pawnny (as in "pawn of the devil"), who have already
allowed yourself to become so decieved that you don't know where the truth
begins and the lies end, couldn't tell the truth if you wanted to any
more. You open your mouth, and the devil's crap comes oozing out of your
foul little mouth.
Well, I have only one thing to tell you in response. Say "hi" to
Hort and Wescott for me as your flesh is slowly burning in hell. Maybe
they would like to laugh at you for falling for their lies, and for trying
to stand up to someone of my intellectual stature. But if you look out
across the void and see me walking around in heaven, don't ask for a glass
of water, unless you want me to boil it and throw it on your face.
If I have one goal in life, it's to make sure that [gosh darned]
low-life sons of [female dogs] like you don't go
around expelling their excrement across the Christian landscape. So I'm
going to plug up your [anuses] with the cork of truth (as long as
you promise not to enjoy it).
In that spirit, here's a dose of reality for my readers:
- God wrote one version of the Bible, and that was the KJV, d*mn it!
All other versions, written before or after, are ejaculations straight
from the devil's [reproductive organ].
- Anyone who says otherwise is part of the Alexandrian cult, whose
members want nothing more than to see you dragged screaming to hell with
them.
- I'm the best debater in the world.
Now if you, John Pee Pee Whitlessman, would like to renounce your
connection with the NIV, I'm sure you still have a 25% chance of being
allowed to sleep in my dumpster in heaven. Hey, it's better than hell (as
I'm sure your dead friends have said when you conjured them up). So take
a flight over to my headquarters, crawl to my door on your hands and
knees, and beg forgiveness for the rest of your life. Then, right before
you die, I can p*ss on your face and tell you I was just kidding
about letting you use my dumpster.
To the glory of me and King James, who will reign on the left and
right hand sides of the throne, AMEN.
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