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Double Nil Passing Spades

"Don't you know there's only 13 books????"

Note: Check out these Tips for Playing Regular Spades ... you gotta be great at spades if you're going to be even a mediocre DNP player ...

Tips for playing with non-DNP pards:

1. If you plan on attempting to play dnp with a non-dnp pard, the first rule of thumb is to put your pard on "ignore" immediately upon sitting down at the table. This will save you the trouble of having to do it later.

2. If you bid dn and pass low, and you get a low pass back, and then your pard bids the table total to 8, don't expect him to help you go for the set. He will be angry that you "blew" your dn on purpose, and he will throw off while you are trying to take. Make a Plan B for the hand ... you probably won't get the set, even if your team has it. This rule is especially true when you get back the same cards that you passed to your pard.

3. If your partner bids dn and passes you the A K spades, and you have nothing in your hand and opps have bid nothing, consider not passing high to your partner, as this will only confuse and anger him. Even though he is probably holding the Q J 10 spades, your pard probably thinks he can still make it if you know what you're doing. This vote of confidence in your superior skills from your pard is really quite gratifying, and should be taken as a compliment.

4. If you are playing extremely well and your team is -200 and the opps have 9 bags, don't expect your pard to bid dn if he is first to bid. In that situation, when your pard bids first and bids a nice fat hand, consider carefully whether or not you want to bid dn, or just bid your team to stay far enough behind until your turn to bid comes first. If you bid it, expect your pard to take every bag there is trying to cover you, no matter what you pass, or to get set on his big bid, because he had to "cover you". Of course, if your pard bids first and bids N or 1 instead of dn, proceed as you would if you were playing with a monkey.

5. Invariably, the time will come when they ask you how old you are. Say 11. 11 is a good number to keep the profanity at a minimum.

6. When they tell you to go play in beginners, tell them that you always lose in beginners and that you get more wins in ladders.

7. When they ask you what drugs you are taking, be creative. Crack doesn't always have to be the drug of choice for dnp players. Fabricate some interesting drug combinations. Sometimes, I manufacture concoctions that the chimps might even try at home. Example:

Hey, man, I am SO f*cked up ... what an awesome RUSH!!!! Mix 2 tablespoons of baking soda with 1/4 cup of vinegar and then put in 1 pack of sweet & low and 1 Tylenol and a little bit of toothpaste ... then chug it. Then do a 7-Up or a Sprite chaser. Man you should try it ... what a TRIP!!!!!!!

WARNING: Do NOT overestimate the intelligence of non-dnp players. We just want to mess with them, we don't want to kill them!

If you can't find a game, at least you can entertain yourself while you are tossing cards with your Yahoo chimps and chimpettes.


Hi. If you have ever bid nil on your pard's dn, tried desperately to catch 4 or 5 bags on a hand, been cussed out by your pard in first hand before even a single card has been played, if your opps scream up and down in the lobby 'CHEATER CHEATER' because the score in the game suddenly went topsy turvy by several hundred points, if pards flee from your table not caring if they leave rank and rating behind, you are one of us.

Oh happy day ... a new DNP league is out there, complete with tournaments, tips, standings ... the works! Visit them at Stepchildren of Spades DNP League for info.


If you are looking for a dnp pard or available to be one: Post a message to the DNP Message Board (young attractive sexy dnp player who plays naked looking for same for some serious spading ...)

Are you losing all your games because your pards screw up? Refer him/her/it to the DNP Tips Page (...and you might read a few of them yourself ... just a thought)

Add a player to the DNP Hall of Fame ... and yes, of course you can add yourself, we know dnp'ers are egomaniacs, and we understand.

Anything interesting related to DNP that belongs on this site? Tell us about it on the Message Board.

Beginner at DNP? Post on the Message Board and ask for lessons ... someone will offer to help you learn (we're funny that way).

And hey, don't be selfish ... if you found this site, pass it on to a DNP friend.

You can join the DNP Email list, then if there's ever a reason to contact DNP players, maybe to let you know if the site has been substantially updated or if by some miracle of miracles there is a tournament somewhere with real DNP players in it, I can get the info to you.

Webmaster: yesiknowhow2play (yours truly), can be found during the hours from 1 minute after the 5:00 whistle blows to the time the sun comes up in Yahoo! spades, usually at a table being asked if he is new, being called stupid by his pard, or being accused by opponents of trying to lose. :) I play under various nics (if you do the math or read the insults in the lobby about the idiot player at table x, you can figure out who I am). You can leave me a message on the message board.

The quote of the moment from a player who has yet to make it to the hall of fame: "I should learn to keep my mouth shut when I get a good pard."

*** Good Luck ***

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