Awful Arachnids These are very fragile, but
enough stayed intact to give the desired effect...I used a decorating tube to
pipe the icing into spider shapes on waxed paper. They are made from Royal
Icing, which needs to be used right away since it hardens to a rocklike
texture very quickly! Royal Icing 16 oz powdered sugar (icing
sugar) 3 egg whites 1/2 tsp cream of tartar Beat until peaks firmly hold
their shape, and the more you beat it, the firmer it gets. I only made a third of this
recipe and I still had tons of icing left over after making two dozen
spiders. I used black paste food coloring to get it as dark as I could... Witches’ Fingers Yield: 5 dozen 1 cup Butter, softened 1 cup Icing sugar 1 Egg 1 tsp Almond extract 1 tsp Vanilla 2 2/3 cups Flour 1 tsp Baking powder 1 tsp Salt 3/4 cup Almonds, whole blanched 1 Tube red decorator gel (optional, not pictured) Gross everyone out with these
creepy cookies. In bowl, beat together butter,
sugar, egg, almond extract and vanilla. Beat in flour, baking soda, and salt.
Cover and refrigerate 30 minutes. Working with one quarter of the dough at a
time and keeping remainder refrigerated, roll heaping teaspoonful of dough
into finger shape for each cookie. Press almond firmly into 1 end for nail.
Squeeze in centre to create knuckle shape. (Accompanying picture showed long
rolled shape with bulge at centre for knuckle; you puff it out rather than
squeeze it in.) Using paring knife, make slashes in several places to form
knuckle. Place on lightly greased baking
sheets; bake in 325F (160C) oven for 20-25 minutes or until pale golden. Let
cool for 3 minutes. Lift up almond, squeeze red decorator gel onto nail bed
and press almond back in place, so gel oozes out from underneath. You can
also make slashes in the finger and fill them with "blood." (ed. note - I opted not to go
for the bloody effect as you can see in my picture above, and my guests were
still grossed out! - Britta) Remove from baking sheets and let
cool on racks. Repeat with remaining dough. Penn and Teller’s Bleeding Heart The title says it all. It's the
perfect coup de grace for your intimate dinner at home. As your guests sip
their coffee, you unveil a glistening pink gelatin heart on a pedestal cake
stand. Then you whip out a carving knife and stab it. Dark, gooey blood
issues majestically from the wound. You cut dainty slices off the lobes of
the heart and flip them onto dessert plates. You hold each portion under the
oozing gash until it is nicely sauced with gore, add a dollop of whipped
cream, and serve. INGREDIENTS 4 cups of water four 3-oz. boxes or two 6-oz
boxes of peach (pink; think of lung tissue) or strawberry (redder; think of
livers and hearts) gelatin dessert mix. 4 envelopes unflavored gelatin one 12-ounce can unsweetened
evaporated milk 1/2 cup grenadine syrup 1 cup light corn syrup one small bottle (0.3 fl. oz.)
red food coloring 3 drops blue food coloring one 1-gallon food-storage bag
(the plain kind without the zip closure) 6 1/2 cup heart-shaped gelatin
mold or cake pan PREPARATION Boil the water. Put the packaged
gelatin dessert and unflavored gelatin in a bowl and pour the boiling water
over it, stirring constantly. Cool to room temperature (very important or the
next step may present problems). Stir in the condensed milk. Note how it
already is acquiring the color of freshly skinned flesh. Pour the mixture into the
gelatin mold. Cover the bottom of the mold (this will be the top when you
serve it) with a layer about half an inch think. Refrigerate until it gels
firmly. Meanwhile, prepare a nice
bladder of blood. Stir together the corn syrup, grenadine, and food colorings
(we do it right in the measuring cup to save dish washing--every erg saved in
preparation is an erg one can use to enjoy the Payoff). For the bladder (the
bag that keeps the blood together inside the mass of gelatin) take the
gallon-size food-storage bag and turn it inside out. Pour the blood mixture
into one corner of the bag and twist it closed so that no air bubble is
caught between the sauce and the twist. Tie a knot in the twisted plastic.
Adjust the position of the knot so that when the bag lies on the counter,
it's about 1 1/2 to 2 inches high, and tighten the knot. With a pair of scissors,
snip off the frilly extra plastic outside the knot. When the gelatin on the bottom
of the mold is stiff and firm, position the bladder of blood in the mold,
with the point of the bag just inside the point of the heart. Make sure there
is at least 3/4" of space between all sides of the bag and the walls of
the mold (this will ensure that your guests don't see clues ahead of time).
Pour in the remaining gelatin until the mold is as full as you can handle.
Don't worry if you see a little of the blood-bladder grazing the surface of
the gelatin, as longs as it doesn't project too much; the side you are
looking at now will be the bottom when you serve it. Refrigerate until gelled firmly
to the texture of fine, lean organ meat. It takes about 4 hours. To unmold, put about 2 1/2
inches of hot, but not boiling water in your sink. Set your mold in the water
so that the water comes just below the edge of the mold for 15 to 20 seconds;
the time depends on the thickness of the mold pan. Remove the mold from the water,
and run the blade of a knife around the edge of the gelatin. Invert your
serving platter, ideally a white pedestal cake plate, on top and hold it
firmly in place. Then use both hands to turn over the mold and the plate.
Remove the mold; you may need to tap or shake the mold slightly to free the
gelatin. PRESENTATION The blood looks prettiest when
it flows over white plates, doilies, and table linen, which it may stain
permanently--but what the hell, it's the effect that matters. To serve, use a
nice, big Psycho-style chef's knife and stab the side of the gelatin about
one third of the way up from the pointed end of the heart. Twist the knife
slightly, and blood will start to ooze out. Bare your teeth like a Marine
jabbing with bayonet, and widen the wound. When the blood is coming at a good
slip, grab a dessert plate, and cut a slice from one of the lobes of the
heart. Flip it onto the plate, and drizzle it with blood by holding it under
the edge of the pedestal. Add whipped cream and serve. This dish delights all five
senses: Sight: red, glossy, and
elegantly surreal when the blood starts to flow. Taste: sweeeet. Smell: classic artificial-fruity
Touch: cold and wiggly. Hearing: the screaming of
guests. A NOTE ABOUT SAFETY: Be careful
not to serve pieces of the food-storage bag to your friends. They could choke
to death. We want to help you become a more exciting host, not a criminally
negligent klutz. If, on the other hand, you're deliberately trying to murder
your guests, please think up your own modus operandi. Don't try anything that
might implicate a couple of innocent fun-book writers. |
Eerie Eyeballs 3 oz lemon gelatin 1 cup hot water 1/2 cup minature marshmallows 1 cup pineapple juice 1 8-0z. pkg cream cheese 1 cup heavy cream, whipped 1 cup mayonnaise Dissolve lemon gelatin in 1 cup
water in double boiler, add marshmallows and stir to melt. Remove from heat.
Add pineapple juice and cream cheese. Beat until well blended. Cool slightly.
Fold in whipped cream and mayo. Chill until thickened or firm for scooping
into eyeballs. Using a melonballer, scoop full
balls of the mixture and set aside for decoration. To decorate, use food
coloring and an old paintbrush and get creative. You will need black food
coloring for the pupils. Also, if you are in a hurry, instead of painting the
colored irises, you can dip the ball in a small pool of food coloring to
approximate the iris, but still paint on the pupils. For 1999, I found rubber ice
cube trays that worked beautifully with much less waste than the melonballer
technique (see above). I sprayed the rubber trays with non-stick cooking
spray beforehand like you would any gelatin mold, let the gelatin mixture sit
in the refrigerator to set, then I was able to carefully pop the eyeballs out
to paint them. Some of the eyeballs did break, and they do have one flat
side, but that actually works, since then they don't roll around while you
are trying to paint them. Pumpkin Pie 2 eggs, slightly beaten 3/4 cup sugar 1 1 lb. can pumpkin(2 cups) 1/2 tsp. salt 1 tsp. cinnamon 1/2 tsp. ginger 1/4 tsp. cloves 1 2/3 cups evap. milk(1 can) 1/2 tsp. allspice One 9 inch pie crust, slightly
cooked. (or 10 1/2 inch). Bake in hot oven (425 degrees) for 15 minutes. Keep
oven door closed and reduce temp to moderate (350 degrees F/180 degress
Celsuis) and continue baking for 45 minutes or until table knife inserted in
center of pie comes out clean. Cool on wire rack. May be eaten cold or at
room temperature and can serve with whipped cream. Bones 3 large egg whites 1/4 tsp. cream of tartar 1/8 tsp. salt 2/3 cup white sugar 1/2 tsp. vanilla Preheat oven to 200 degrees. Line cookie sheet with brown paper bag or parchment. In a medium sized bowl at high speed, beat egg whites, cream of tartar and salt till fluffy. Gradually beat in sugar. Add vanilla. Place in pastry bag fitted with a medium plain piping tip. Pipe 3" bone shapes onto parchment or brown paper bag. Bake 1 hour until set. Turn off oven, dry in oven 1 hour. Makes 4 to 5 dozen small bones. |
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