Twisted Reality

Why is my reality twisted?
Twisted to meet others wishes.
Falling through darkness,
It's suffacating me,
It's blinding me,
It's killing me,
It's drowning me,
It's tearing my soul to peices.
I'm searching for light,
But I can't find, because Im blindfolded.
Blindfolded by the petty self-interested society.
I'm searching for love, but it's no where to be found.
I am broken and torn inside,
My soul is dying, from the hole in it.
I want to be fixed, but love is the only way that I know.
This is madenning,
The Anger,
The Hate,
The Hurt,
The Pain.
God, can't you take it all away?
Can't you see what this has fucking done to me,
Cant you see what this is still doing to me?
There is nothing left to me!
Am I being punished?
By God or by society?
If by God; why, why would He does this murdering of my soul?
If by society; I thought that values were valued.
Like kindness, honesty, caring;
Not "how much money do you have?" or how good loooking you are?
Why is it that a lot of girls say they want someone to treat them right,
When what the really mean is that they have to be good looking first?
I thought by being a "good guy", that would be enough.
But nope just friends that is all I am allowed.