Mood:  not sure
What makes you touch?
What makes you feel?
What makes you stop and smell the roses in an open field?
What makes you unclean?
Yeah, Yeah
What makes you laugh?
What makes you cry?
What makes our youth run
From the thought that we might die?
What makes you bleed?
Somebody told me the wrong way
What if I died?
What did I give?
I hope it was an answer so you might live
I hope I helped you live
I hope I helped you live
Somebody told me the wrong way

~CREED~


I found out one of my closest friends is having trouble at home. her mom is really sick, shes having problems with her older sister, and shes having problems with her ex boy friend. but the good news, she went on a date today. i am so excited for her...i hope it went well! it seems that is what life is about right now...having a boyfriend or girlfriend. it just seems like thats all that people care about nowadays. i dont understand why it is so important. i mean i do like this one guy and he is so nice to me and listens to all my problems, but he does not like me in return. this is how it always works for me! the guys i like never have the same feelings for me. plus most of the people that have a significant other, never stay together that long and if they do it always, no matter what ends tragicly. most guys say "i love you" and dont mean it, so whats the point? everyone just gets hurt in thee end. so why not save yourself before the fact and just say to your self that you dont need anyone to make you happy. i say all this but it makes me feel hypocritical, because i know that someone in the relationship will get hurt or both will get hurt, but it seems that my heart is over powering me and telling me that i want a boyfriend. i dont know what to do, except to fight away my hearts feelings and not except the fact that i am lonely. i dont need a person to complete me, i am not lonely in any way shape or form. it may seem this way but i am not. anyways enough with the LOVE DIARIES!

christmas break
Mood:  not sure
Well i am now on my fourth day of winter break. its kind of boring. i cant wait for sunday though because i get my presents. but i decided that i am going to use my blog everyday as an online journal. so i have liked this guy for a while now and i did not tell him because he was going to ask out another girl so i did not say anything. now they have broken up and i still like him. well i was talking to him and i finally told him that i liked him but he is still in,love with his ex. what am i supposed to do? i mean i know there is nothing i can to about it but, i just wnat to know what i am supposed to do! anyways today has been ok it seems everyday though i am still sad and miserable over squirrly. i dont know how to deal with myself. i know he is in a better place and everything. i just cant help to feel sad. not for him but you know for myself because he is not here to talk to, hug, sit with, and whatever. its just really hard to understand what i am supposed to do and say. my life is totaly different with out him here. its like there is a hole in my heart that will never close. i know eventually i will meet with him again, but its just so hard to wake up in the morning to go to school and know hes not going to be there, or to wake up on the weekends and know hes not going to call me to hang out or something like that. its just hard, i am slowly gaining the strength i need to get through everything. well i am done for tonight. peace