Help William Get A Car
Let me start by introducing myself. My name is William, and I work at K-mart. Well, that should tell you right off that I am one broke SOB, and I have a little problem; my car. It is a piece of shit. A broke guy with a shitty car, this is a plea for your help. I need YOU to help me raise money to buy a new car that I could never afford with my current minimum wage k-mart paycheck. I know you're probobly thinking "Wtf? Why should I give this guy money?" Well, let me help answer your question with the following list of reasons you should give me money:
- 1. I'm a really nice guy, really
- 2. I love you
- 3. I work at K-Mart...come on
- 5. You probobly have more money than me
- 6. Your small act of kindess will be reported by me diectly to Jesus (pronouned hey-zeus) and you will automoatically get into heaven
- 7. When I get my new car, I will give everyone who donates money a ride (except for Ben, because we all hate him)
- 8. My sister will show you her boobs....we maaaaay have to get her drunk first, so if you could donate some money for alcohol too, that would be super.
- 9. See reason # 8.
- 10. I'll be your best friend.
