Untitled

by: Closer2ComaTY@aol.com
source: Orgy the Glam Rock Revival

~~The members of Orgy retire to their dressing room after a show~~

Bobby: That was a good show you guys (wipes face with a towel)
Paige: Yeah, s*** man I'm tired.
Ryan: I need a beer, dammit! (opens mini-fridge and grabs a beer)
Jay: When don't you need a beer dude? (grabs bottle of absolut and plops down on couch)
Ryan: (thinks for a second) Ummm, I dunno, what was the question again?
Amir: Dude, I sure would have liked to know you before beer got to your brain cells.
Ryan: Shut up...I'm like smart and stuff.
(Bobby, Paige, Amir and Jay look at each other and laugh)
Bobby: Yeah, sure.
Jay: (looks around for lemon slices) Dammit! I told those morons to have fresh lemon slices in here for my vodka after the show! A**HOLES!
Paige: Calm down Jay - you can drink your vodka without lemon slices for a change.
Jay: The fact that I can drink my vodka without lemons is completely and totally irrelevent, the point is I told those b***ar*s to make sure there were lemons in here!
Ryan: (opens another beer and chugs it) You should drink beer, then you wouldn't have to worry about apples.
Amir: Apples? Lemons, you dumba**!
Ryan: What about lemons?
Bobby: Ryan, don't think...it might start to hurt.
(Ryan throws bottle on the floor and opens another)
Jay: Son of a b****! I need lemon slices now! Ryan, go fetch me some. (picks up mirror and begins admiring himself)
Ryan: Dude, why me? Like, ummm, I'm busy.
Amir: We'll get you another six pack if you go get Jay's whiney a** some lemons.
(Ryan smiles and gets up and leaves, Jay looks at Amir evily)
Jay: Shut your f***in mouth Derakh.
Paige: The things that guy will do for beer...
Jay: I was pondering the thought that Ryan may have a beer dependency.
Amir: Huh?
Bobby: I agree.
Paige: Bobby, how can you agree when you don't even know what he said?
Bobby: Uh, oh yeah, I agree.
Amir: Dude, just shut up, you agree with everything so you sound like you have a clue.
Jay: Quiet! Let me rephrase that so you simple minded people can comprehend it.
Bobby: I agree.
(Amir shakes his head at Bobby)
Jay: I think Ryan has a severe alcohol problem.
(Bobby, Amir and Paige look at eachother with a blank look on their faces)
Jay: (sighs in annoynance) I think he's an alcoholic, a drunk, a boozer!
Amir: Oooooooh yeah, good thinkin Jay.
Paige: He does drink way too much.
Bobby: Uh yeah, I - (Amir cuts him off)
Amir: Dude, if you even say 'I agree' I'll be forced to shove your drumsticks up your a**! Bobby: (thinks for a minute, frowns and covers his butt with his hand) I, umm, I, ummm, like naked chics!
Amir: Me too!
Paige: Yeah naked is good!
Jay: Do you think we could stay on the subject at hand?
Paige: Yeah, ok, so Ryan's a drunken bum, so what?
Jay: I think we should admit him to the Betty Ford Clinic.
Bobby: What's he gonna do at a car dealer?!
Amir: What? A car dealer? Cars are cool.
Paige: I have a car.
Jay: (shakes head at them) A rehab center! Not a car dealer!
Bobby, Amir & Paige: Oohhhh.
Amir: Shhh, here he comes.
(Ryan walks back in with a beer)
Jay: Dude! Where are my lemons?
Ryan: Why do you guys keep talking about lemons?
Amir: Dude we sent you to go get lemons, Ry.
Ryan: Oh, I don't have any, sorry.
Bobby: We know, that's why we sent you to get some.
Ryan: Oh yeah! I knew I was forgetting something.
(Ryan turns around to walk out but Jay stops him)
Jay: Dude, forget it, just sit down we have to talk to you.
Amir: Ry, we think you have a problem.
Ryan: I do.
Bobby: You do?
Ryan: Yeah, I need sex, (finishes beer) and another beer.
Paige: Well, it's about your beer.
Ryan: You can't have any! Get your own!
Jay: We don't want your beer, Ryan.
Ryan: Good, cos you can't have any god dammit!
Amir: We think you have a drinking problem.
Bobby: We are taking you to the Betty Ford clinic.
Ryan: Cool! A car dealer?! Are you guys gonna get me a new car?
Paige: It's a rehab center, to get you to stop drinking.
Ryan: Why? No way! I won't go!!
Jay: If you don't you're out of the band.
Ryan: Who cares? Screw you guys, I'll go back to Rough Cutt.
Amir: I was in Rough Cutt, dammit!
Ryan: Oh, yeah. S***. Fine, I'll go.