The Airport and So On

by: Dumb Dizzy

Ryan, Jay, Amir and Bobby stood side by side, in the air port, on their cell phones except for Paige because he hung up an hour ago.

"You're a f***in discrace," said Jay on his cell phone to Bobby who was next to him, "Tell Paige that if he f***in doesn't get to the air port now, I'm never buying him or you, Bobby, makeup ever again."

"Damnit Jay! Paige can just catch a bus to Hawaii!"said Ryan.

"You are such an idiot." said Bobby over the cell phone.

"God what the f***... do you want to get laid or not? If you keep this up I'll lock you out of the hotel room," said Jay.

"Did Paige hang up?" asked Ryan.

"He hung up an hour ago," said Amir.

"That big-a** whore! Does he expect me to go to Hawaii alone?!" yelled Jay.

"Yo, we're gonna go too!" answered Amir.

"I don't think that you count Amir," said Jay.

"Look I'll confrence Jay," said Bobby. The phone rang about three times then Paige Picked up.

"Hello, you've reached Paige Haley, as in Haley."

"Shut up Paige, no one knows who you are and everyone who does thingks that you are a b****" said Jay.

"Oh, Hi Jay, Ryan, Bobby and Amir," said Paige.

"How the hell did you know I was on the phone!?" said Ryan.

"One of my friends named 'caller ID' told me," answered Paige.

"Where the f*** are you?" asked Jay.

"Yeah Paige, you're the only one not at the Air Port," said Ryan.

"What the hell Ryan, I've been in the bar for the whole damn time. Where the hell are you?" said Paige.

"We're like, like, in the room thing like, right across from the bar," said Jay.

"Oh my god, holy f***, holy s***... how could I have missed him, how could he have missed us, he doesn't know how we all look." said Ryan.

"No, actually Amir told me we were meeting in the bar, I've been watching you standing next to each other for the entire time damnit!" said Paige. They all looked at Amir.

"Look, I just want some f***in beer! Look at me I'm a mess, and this whole time Paige has been in a bar" said Ryan looking tense. "Bobby, hand me the pocket sized beer." Bobby searched through his purse and unsucsesfully, looking under the lipstick, he took out a mint and handed it to Ryan.

"Didn't any one pack BEER????!??!?!?!?!" said Ryan looking around noticing how Amir ws about to burst out laughing, Ryan screached, "Holy Shit Amir, you didn't, you couldn't... YOU DID... YOU DRANK THE LAST DROP OF MY BEER!!!!" yelled Ryan.

"I think I'm... yeah... I'm gonna go to the bath room to freshen up. Why don't you go to the bar and get some yourself?!" said Amir.

"The bar is too far!" said Ryan, "Plus, they don't have the beer I like." Amir kept walking down the hall, while Ryan watched him with evil eyes. Ryan then, jumped up and hopped on top of Amir which made him fall over. "You f***in son of a b****! You b****..." said Ryan. Amir plucked Ryan off his back and threw him over. Just about when Amir was about to kick Ryan's ass, a beautiful girl came down the hall way. Amir got up, dusted himself off, including his hair, and watched the girl come closer... and closer.

"Holy s*** the bit of flesh is hella fine," said Amir.

Ryan got up and ran around in circles... then he ran over to the ice cream counter, "Can I have some beer ice cream, with some beer on the side and and kind of drug on the top?" asked Ryan.

The girl got closer to Amir, Amir turned around and looked at the ground, "S***, s***, s***, s***... s***.". The girl tapped Amir on the shoulder and he turned around. "Why hello Jay, I feel really fine when I see you."

"Umm, ok,"said Jay. Paige came walking down the hallway.

"What's up?" asked Paige. Attempting to look over Jay's shoulder, jumping up and down, he saw Ryan eating some brown colored ice cream with white sprinkles on the top. "So is Ryan eating his 'Beer Ice Cream with Drug on the top and Beer on the side' again?" asked Paige.

"Yeah I guess so," said Amir

"I wonder when he's gonna figure out that it's actually chocolate with sprinkles"said Bobby, who had just come over.

"Jay, I'm gonna go get something from McDonald's... Okay?" said Paige.

"Paige... you told me that you had lunch." said Jay.

"Well I'm hungry,"said Paige, trying to deffend himself.

"Just go,"said Amir. Over at the Mc.Donald's counter...

"HI it's me Paige Haley as in Haley." The lady at the counter looked at him oddly... trying to place this odd man into her mind.

"Who is Paige Halie?"she said, "I personally think that you're a b****."

"Look, I just want 2 Big Macs with everything on them and 5 large fries to go," said Paige.

"Sir, how about you try our Veggie Burger... you look like you could use it," said the lady.

"I don't have to take this s***!" said Haley, "Go to hell where'll you'll have to deal with Jay Gordon everyday!!!!"

"OH MY GOD!" screached the lady,"YOU KNOW WHO JAY GORDON IS?! HE IS SOOOO FINE!".

"Aug." said Paige walking away, I'm getting some sushi. (This explains why he likes sushi so much.)

Ryan walked over to Paige. "Paige... have you seen my guitar?!" Ryan asked.

"Maybe, it's going to Australia, without you." answered Paige.

"NOOOO NOT MY PRETTY, GLAM GUITAR!!!! Paige don't scare me like that. That thin' is costomized and over a thousand dollars, way over a thousand dollar. It's costomized for my a**... SEE THIS A**!!!!?" said Ryan trying to shove his a** in Paige's face.

"Damnit Ryan! Get off it! I'm hella mad! I couldn't get any food!" said Paige.

"Didn't you already have lunch?" asked Ryan.

"GOD DAMNIT!!!!!!"yelled Paige.

After the Flight



"S***... why do they always have the air conditioning in the air ports? Like as if, it's not already freezing as it is." complained Bobby.



At the Hotel



"I wonder if they have cable, pay per view... SOMETHING!"said Paige.

"I'm going to Safeway. It's the only place left with good food." said Ryan.

"I'm coming too, I wanna get some f***in beer too," said Paige.

"How the hell did you know that I was getting some f***in beer?!"said Ryan. "F*** Ryan, whenever you say 'good food' you mean 'good beer',"answered Paige.

"Paige, you are such a b****,"said Jay. Paige gave Jay a mean a** look then walked out the door with Ryan. Jay jumped up and locked the door behind them. "OKAY GIRLS YOU CAN COME OUT NOW," yelled Jay,"I get Ryan's girl, I've always wanted to do 2 at the same time!".

Paige and Ryan turned around and Paige pounded on the door and pleaded pitifully to for them to let him in. Ryan stayed amazingly relaxed. Paige thought about why that might be, but then forgot about that and jumped over the fence slipped into the pool. "S***," said Paige, "My eyeliner must be ruined!" He jumped out of the pool and grabbed a hoe (as in the gardening tool... dude, you have a sick mind don't you?) and hit the window with it and climbed in. He looked around and saw Amir with 2 girls he grabbed one of them "MY GIRL" Paige yelled. He looked over and saw Ryan frenching some girl. "F***... Ryan, how the hell did you get in to the room?" asked Paige. Ryan took off his shirt with some help from the girl and took the keys out of the front pocket and threw them at Paige.

"F*** you Ryan," said Paige.

"You are such a b****," said Jay and then went back to frenching.