PART SIX

Scene: FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE I AM FINALLY WRITING THIS DAMN THING!!! OKAY?????? HAPPY NOW??? DO I NEED TO DO A F***ing LITTLE DANCE TO PLEASE YOU PEOPLE??? A NICE LITTLE SALSA WHILE WEARING A HAWAIIN T-SHIRT, A TUTU, AND BOXERS????? I DIDN'T THINK SO! ANYWHO.......the fate of the band is riding on Ami's shoulders. She prepares to go out on a seemingly manditory date with jay but what she doesnt know is that if in fact she should fall in love with jay and choose him, paige will leave orgy and amir will follow, loyally, causeing orgy to crash and burn. GOD WHY? AMI, YOU CANT LET THAT HAPPEN!!! O MY GOD AMI IF YOU MAKE ORGY BREAK UP, I AM SOOOOOOOO NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN!!!

(Jay is in the bathroom of their hotel room, fixing his makeup and playing with his hair, in preparation for the big date with Ami that is but seven hours away)

jay: (sings to himself in the mirror and uses a hairbrush as microphone) IM SOOOOOOO SEXY!! Ami wants to get with me, cuz im dead sexy... so very very sexy.....im f***in hot as heeeeellllllll...

(bobby walks in and stares at jay until jay notices bobby in the mirror)

bobby: youre pathetic. i hope you know that.

jay: youre just jealous cause Ami is gonna pick me and not you!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

bobby: (grins evily and mutters) alright, if you would like to believe that...

(meanwhile paige and amir are staying at a different hotel , Amir now jumping on the bed and going on and on about Tracy, to Paige who was laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and not listening to Amir at all)

Amir: ...and her cows, her cows are the damned cutest cows i have ever seen! Quack and Goat! thats just genius!

paige:uh huh....yea...right....mmyes....

Amir: (like the eternal child that amir always is in these here fan fictions....i wonder why that is....)and-and-and...Big brother..?

Paige: wha, mir?

Amir: .......I love her.

Paige: (sighs and says slightly sacasticly) thats nice amir..

(Amir looks sad, then his eyes light up and you can almost see the light bulb go on over his head)

Amir: Ummm Paigey i think im gonna go out for a while. I'll be back later okies?

Paige: (indifferent) uh huh, have fun...

(amir frowns and exits, driving away in the ALMIGHTY MINIVAN)

(meanwhile as time is slowly ticking away, Tracy sits in her livingroom, watching ami pace back and forth like a meloncholy monkey on cocain.)

Ami: (mainly talking to herself at this point) God what am i going to do???.....I mean yeah Jay is hot and all but i don't LOVE him...well i guess i love all of orgy to SOME extent....you know what i mean, Trace?

Tracy: Well-

Ami: (cuts her off) This might be fun, getting to hang with Jay but as far as picking him...Well, what girl wouldn't want the hot lead singer of Orgy to be her's forever....But my heart belongs to Paige!....and Ryan to some point....well i mean yea but...you know what i'm saying?

Tracy: (confused) um... I-

Ami:(cuts her off again) If im that in love with Paige then i should stay loyal to him, yea? ..... But i should at least give Jay a chance! .....But i mean its wrong to have Paige quest to find me like that and then just spurn him for jay...What do you think?

Tracy: (hold her index finger up and looks like she's gonna say something important and meaningful) I think-

Ami:(cuts her off AGAIN) well on one hand, i love paige dearly... (Tracy holds up one hand)

ami:...on the other hand, Jay is cool and i would like to get to know him (tracy holds up another hand, acts like a mime trapped in a box)

Ami: But on the other other hand, Paige is cool too and hot and yea (tracy looks at her hands perplexed, like she had never seen them before)

Ami...But on the other other other hand, Jay is hot and cool too! (Tracy shakes her hands and looks around helplessly)

Ami: but on the other other other other hand, WHAT ABOUT RYAN?? i mean him and me have this-this-this history apperantly! and he wants to MARRY me!!(Tracy looks at the palms and backs of her hands, while rocking back and forth like an insane person)

Ami: and on the other other other other other other hand! Bobby is willing to give up his shannon for me! thats gotta count for something! (Tracy balls her hands into fists and shakes her head violently)

ami: And on the other other other other other other other hand, I LOVE PAIGE!! i always have but what can i do?? (Tracy falls to the ground pounding her fists into the floor)

ami: what... the hell are you doing?

Tracy: (pulls at her own hair frustratedly) THAT'S SEVEN HANDS, AMI!!!

Ami: O God, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, TRACY.

Tracy: I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY HANDS!!! I'M SORRY

Ami: o Jesus Christ....TRACY, I DON'T GIVE A F***! CUT OFF BOTH YOUR HANDS! I DON'T CARE!

Tracy: .....well you don't have to be mean about it.

Ami: (shakes her head) I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry it's just this thing with Orgy has got me sorta stressed right now.

Tracy: Speaking of supermarket meat trays, it's almost time! Jay will be here soon!

Ami: OH S***!

(As if on cue, a limo pulls up outside, with Jay standing up in the sunroof, holding a dozen red roses and wearing a BIG smile. Ami and Tracy both run outside to greet Ami's date for tonight)

Jay: (trying to be all smooth and romantic as humanly possible) My Darling! Ah how ravishingly lovely you look tonight, more perfect then the heavens and still you grace this earth! Oh what attentions has the Creator bestowed upon you and not unto the rest of the world, making you the one and only extravigant beauty!

Ami: uh.....yea...hi....?

Jay: My sweet, Here. (hands a speechless Ami the roses) I wanted to show these pitiful flowers what TRUE beauty was, my dear.

Tracy: (breaks the sweet tender romantic and all that rot moment) AWWE AIN'T THAT THE CUTEST THING EVER??....Hey Jay, you seen my Mir anywhere?

Jay: He and Paige stormed out last night. (turns his attention to ami who still can't think of anything to say) But this shouldn't effect our plans, my darling love.

Ami: umm...umm....umm...

Jay: now, Shall we be off, my percious? The queen of my heart? The center of my being? The jewl of my existance? The rings of my showercurtains?

Tracy: okay at first the petname thing was sorta cute and yea you kinda took it to far but THE RINGS ON YOUR SHOWER CURTAIN?!?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL?? O MY GOD! WHO THE HELL SAYS "THE RINGS OF MY SHOWERCURTIANS"?? "O yes, run away with me and live forever in my arms, o rings of my showercurtains" WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING??

Jay: (sarcasticly) Yea and "my little apple strudel" is Soooooooooooooooo much better.

Tracy: HEY! Amir is....well... My Amir. He cant help being....Amir... AND I LIKE HIM THAT WAY SO YEA! (sticks her tounge out at him)

(Meanwhile, Amir was sitting in the ALMIGHTYMINIVAN watching all this from a little further down the street. Hidden microphones planted in the limo made it possible to hear all that is going on. Amir giggles and fights the urge to go run out and hug his Tracy.)

Jay: Well, AMI (he stresses the word, and glares at Tracy, who then grins and mouths "Thats better") Shall we away then?

Ami: (still a bit shocked) um...sure...

(Ami gets into the limo and they drive off, then soon a certain ALMIGHTYMINIVAN pulls up in front of the house and amir hops out, grabs Tracy for a quick hug and kiss, then goes to get back in the MINIVAN.)

Tracy: WAIT! what are you doing??

Amir: Well, my apple strudel, i am making sure that Ami falls for Paigey and ONLY Paigey. (grins)

Tracy: (knowing that Amir may mean well, he might uh botch things up so to speak) ummmm....maybe i should come along to help....

Amir: ALRIGHT! YEA! GREAT! LETS GO!

(they hop in the minivan and speed off after the limo. They soon then are followed by a supercool puce '92 corsica, driven by none other than the evil Bobby! DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!)

Bobby: MUWHAHAHAHAHA! IF I CAN'T HAVE AMI, THEN NO ONE WILL! I'LL MAKE SURE THAT SHE FALLS FOR NONE OF THEM! DAMN I'M EVIL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!

(meanwhile, Ryan escapes the hospital, now rolling his way towards the rest of the conspiritors wearing just his lovely hospital gown, in a wheelchair, while dragging his IV behind him, making a pathetic and humorous attempt if you ask me)

Ryan: Ami! I'll save you from Jay!!...ummm... slowly but surely! Im coming! ....yep im coming!.....O damn its tiring going up hill in a wheelchair....

(ANOTHER MEANWHILE! Paige sulks in his hotelroom, not really appearing as though ANYTHING important will occur on his side of the story)

*********GASP******okay so to recap, *inhales then goes off on the long tangent*

ami is off on her date with Jay, her first date in a seris of 5 (4 because i really doubt she'll even give Bobby the chance) they are followed by the new dasteredly duo, a sort of stupid version of Bonnie and Clyde, Tracy and Amir. Then, following close is the inherently evil for some strange reason, Bobby, and after him, we have the pathetic Ryan, chasing his true love, and in clear last place in the race to f*** up Jay's night we have Paige who seems to not care.

*exhales and almost passes out*



And the chick who made the site never got part 7.