PART FIVE
scene: the hospital room where Ryan layed, after his extremely stupid act of drunk driving. Everyone but my errrmm....I mean Tracy's Amir is fawning over Ami (yea right, Ami, maybe in your dreams will the guys of orgy go gaga for YOU, but *sigh* such is true friendship to sit here and write out a whole seris of fanfic just about the band being in love with her.) So Ami now has to choose between Jay, the sexy vocalist, Bobby the MARRIED drummer who at one time tryed to kill her, Ryan, the gutarist who fell in love with her bought her dream car as an engagment present and ended up smashing after drinking out of nervousness, and Paige, the hott bassist that was originally the object of her affection and whom this seris is named after. MY GAWD, WHAT IS SHE TO DO??? (thankyou o lord, for sarcasm)
Tracy: Ami,I see one solution to this.
Ami: Enlighten me.
Tracy: Simply go out on the proposed date with each of them and then see what happens from there.
Bobby: Cow girl has a point, Ami. Why dont you go with me on a date tonight (fake pepe lepeu accent) we could make beautiful music together?
Jay: need I once again remind you that you are MARRIED?
Ami: Bobby, you tried to kill me and you have a family. Attempted murder and adultry are not on my list of turn ons.
Bobby: *thinks* Note to self: you f***ing moron.
Ami: Although this idea of Tracy's is sounding better and better but the question is: who gets the first date?
Amir: There is only one true fair way to do this. ALRIGHT, EVERYONE COME'MERE AND PUT YOUR FOOT IN!!!
(everyone looks at amir, confused)
Amir: Wha? havent you ever played tag in school? When you decide who is going to be it everyone stands in a circle, puts their foot in and one person says a happy little rhyme and counts people out until one person is left and they are it and the rest of the people run screaming away from them. Get it?
(they nod, still looking at him like he's retarded)
amir: ok so now COME'MERE AND PUT YOUR FOOT IN!!
(jay, Ryan, paige and bobby (HE'S MARRIED!! SO WHY IS HE PLAYING???) all get in a circle around amir.)
*YES I AM AWARE OF HOW EXCEEDINGLY RETARDED AND USELESS THIS IS also to add one simple note: i am aware that some of these are jump-rope chants rather than game calling thingies and to answer your question: yes, i know that i am a loser, having remembered all these without any help, all by my lonesome. thankyou. P.S. i was oh so tempted to have amir start doing "ten little mokeys jumpin on the bed".*
Amir: (kneels down and starts counting, starting with paige and working around the circle.) Ms. susie had a sail boat the sailboat had a bell DING DING Ms susie went to heaven the sailboat went to Hell-o operator please give me number nine and if you disconnect me, I'll chop off your behind. Refridgerator, there was a piece of glass. Ms Susie sat upon it and broke her little ASSk me no more questions and tell me no more lies the boys are in the bathroom, zipping up their flies are in the city, the bees are in the park, Ms Susie and her boyfriend are kissing in the D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K dark dark dark is like a movie, a movie's like a show, a show is like a TV show and that is all i know! Eeenie Meenie Mineie Mo catch a tiger by the toe if he hollars let him go. Eeenie Meenie Mineie Mo. Ms. Mary Mack Mack Mack, all dressed in black black black with silver buttons buttons buttons all down her back back back, She asked her Mother Mother Mother for fifteen cents cents cents to see the elephants elephants elephants dance on the fence fence fence. They jumped so high high high that they didnt come back back back till the forth of July-ly-ly. Bubblegum bubblegum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish? (landing on Ryan)
Ryan: uhhh....seven?
amir: GREEDY!!! fine! (starts counting around the circle again, everyone getting REALLY impatient) one two three four five six seven all good children go to heaven. My momma told me to pick the very best one and you will be the one who goes out with ami!!!
(he lands on.......................................JAY!!!!)
bobby: best two out of three?
Jay: HELLZ NO!!! i won fair and square!!*sticks out his tounge*
bobby: damn you.
Ryan: Drats! Foiled again!
Tracy: well that settles that!
Bobby: I CALL SECOND DATE!!
Ryan: I CALL THIRD!!!
paige: Last as usual *sigh*
Jay: *trying to be all smooth and such*So0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o... Ami...
Ami: *FRUSTRATED PENGUIN!!!!!; )* look, the sun is coming up. Let me have one night to think about this and tomorrow we'll go on the date, k?
Jay: So be it, my love.
(paige, bobby and ryan shoot jay dirty looks. Ami rolls her eyes.)
Ami: And now, my suitors, i must bid thee fare well. Come, Tracy. The night grows faint and dawn is upon us!! plus im really dead ass tired.
Tracy: Awwwwe do i hafta? I dont wanna leave my Mir!!
Ami: You'll see him later. Make a sacred vow, swear your eternal love to him, or just give him your damn phone number. I dun care but you are coming with me. Hell, i need someone to b**** at.
Amir: well! SOMEONE is a might bit cranky!!
ami: *grumbling* damn straight...
Amir: *to jay, bobby, ryan, and paige* still lookin like the cutest thing on earth?
(tracy gives Amir her number)
Tracy: Goodnight Goodnight, parting is such sweet sorrow that i might say goodnight till it be morrow!
Ami: Uhhhh.....Juliet? It IS morrow.
Tracy: right so lets away.
(ami says goodbye to her boys and damn near has to pry tracy away from amir. they leave and return to Tracy's house. Once inside ami flops down on the couch and tarcy begins going on about Amir.)
(MEANWHILE back at the hospital, paige is throwing a hissy fit and pouting in the corner.)
Jay: What now?
Amir (goes over to paige and hugs him): YOU ALL STOLE HIS GIRL!!!!
Ryan: i went out with her first!!!
jay: Paige is just being a baby cause i got first date with his "mystery woman" NYA NYA NYA NYA!!! I GOT TO DATE HER FIRST!!! *prances around like a little girl.* OOH LOOK AT ME! IM PAIGE! EVERYONE PITY ME FOR I HAVE NOT FOUND MY ONE TRUE LOVE OH BOOHOOO!!!!! *laughs in paige's face* JEALOUS, ANYONE? HA!
paige: you all are pricks!! she was MY girl!!! YOU guys didnt want her around!!
Amir: me too?
Paige: nah mir, you were the only one who believed me even when i didnt even believe i would find her.
Amir: *to bobby, jay and Ryan* POSSIBLE!! ALL OF YOU!!! YOU ALL ARE MEAN!!
Ryan: Paige, the heart wants what it wants.
paige: BULL S***! F*** ALL OF YOU! Im outta here. Mir, you wanna come?
Mir: sure sure big brother!!
Ryan: we have a concert in three days are you guys gonna be ready???
Paige: i dont know if i want to play with backstabbers...
Amir: SAME GOES FOR ME!!!
(they exit dramaticly, hop in the orgymobile and put the pedal to the medal.)
******GASP****** OH MY GOOD SWEET GOD!!!! JESUS TAP-DACING, JUMPING ON A POGO-STICK CHRIST!!!!! COULD THIS MEAN THE BREAKUP OF THE WORLDS GREATEST BAND?????? MY GOD WHY??? JEBUS, SAY IT ISNT SO!!! WHAT WILL THEY DO? PAIGE AND AMIR LEAVE THE BAND? AMI DATING JAY? COULD THIS POSSIBLY BE TRUE?? oh please say it isnt so....
i guess we'll all just have to wait until part six, when the answers might be revealed, unless i feel like streching this to make it ten parts or more!! now, my soda is empty so i shut my voicetube, get a new one and get my ass started on part six.
PART SIX