Top Reasons To Date A Paintball Player
1. We aren't afraid to get down and dirty
2. We know how to listen to directions
3. We at least have a 10" barrel
4. We can fire off 100's of rounds without getting tired
5. We always wear protection
6. We love to be aggressive
7. We clean our barrels a lot
8. We always have to have the best 'cocker on the field
9. We're good at moving our fingers extremely fast in small places
10. We can move & contort our bodies into weird positions
11. We usually leave our "condom" on so we won't shoot u in ur eye
12. We know how to play in the front, the back, and everywhere inbetween


My Life is Rated:

Whats your Life rated?



-All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door


SEX isnt the answer...
sex is the question,
YES is the answer


Dh4 Buck Hunter: this sign makes the room so cozy cuz it feels like a bar, and i grew up in a bar


i got skillz dawg woot woot


"If you use your hand for pleasure, copy and paste this in your profile"


"If u like to commit mass destruction copy and paste this in ur profile"


If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.


* You know it's going to be a bad day
when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.


Famous last words: What happens if you touch these two wires tog--


* If you cannot convince them, confuse them.


Amanda17Wargula5: you've lost it
CockerStyle23: yea
CockerStyle23: long time ago



* If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?


LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands.


Kyle: Shane, can i kick you in the head?
Shane: Kyle, we already had this discusion yesterday, no you can't kick me in the head


If you blow something up and there is no one else around to hear it, did you really blow it up??


* A friend helps you move, a good friend helps you move a body.


* never interupt your enemy when he is making a mistake


Drill Sargent: where you from private?
Private: Sir texas Sir
Drill Sargent: God Damn, Only steers and queers come from texas, and you dont look like a steer to me, that kinda narrows it down, now doesnt it Private?
Private: Sir yes Sir
Drill Sargent: Do you suck dicks?
Private: Sir no Sir
Drill Sargent: are you a peter puffer?
Private: Sir no Sir
Drill Sargent: BULL SHIT, i bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!


* my cats name isn't fat shit cat, its meatball and hes eatting your crab cakes


Kaospsychoelf: liquid cocaine
Kaospsychoelf: keeps the mind and body insane


* Live your life Out Loud


My Dad: If grass hoppers had machine guns, birds wouldnt fuck with them.


TimiosKate5152: so you think you are the specialest?
CockerStyle23: yup
TimiosKate5152: so you think you are?
CockerStyle23: i kno i am
TimiosKate5152: how?
CockerStyle23: my mommie tells me
TimiosKate5152: lol
TimiosKate5152: really...
TimiosKate5152: what if you are the specialest to her, but not me?
TimiosKate5152: then are you still the specialest?
CockerStyle23: she will say "you dont be mean to my bobbie bouchey" whyle she beats you with a stick
TimiosKate5152: rofl
TimiosKate5152: how do you know you are the specialest on my list?
CockerStyle23: cuz im the specialest on everybodys list
TimiosKate5152: lol
TimiosKate5152: okay Kyle... *pats your arm* you just keep thinking that...


* Im not a racist, i hate everybody equaly


* You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.


paintballingm98: where is ryan
CockerStyle23: who?
paintballingm98: ryan
CockerStyle23: ryan?
paintballingm98: that hatz kid
CockerStyle23: oO hatz
CockerStyle23: why didnt you just say so


those who live by the sword...
get shot by those who do not.


Only the Insane have Strength Enough to Prosper. Only those who Prosper May Truly Judge what is Sane.


* Normal people are over rated.


CockerStyle23: ugh so tired
CockerStyle23: i dunno y
TimiosKate5152: big day today?
CockerStyle23: lmao no
CockerStyle23: i didnt do anything
CockerStyle23: slept first hour
TimiosKate5152: hehe
CockerStyle23: talked second
CockerStyle23: talked 3rd
CockerStyle23: slept 4th
TimiosKate5152: ::shakes her head at you::
CockerStyle23: ran 5th
CockerStyle23: slept 6th
CockerStyle23: laughed 7th
CockerStyle23: and kinda slept 8th
TimiosKate5152: and you keep good grades with that??
CockerStyle23: lol yea
TimiosKate5152: sad
CockerStyle23: lowest grade is a C
CockerStyle23: (classes are easier the second time)
TimiosKate5152: ::shakes head at you::


* I think its cruel to have an "S" in the word lisp, because people with lisp's cant say "S"'s so they say "I have a Lithp"


Ryhatz8: i was jackin off in my car in the piggly wiggly parking lot before work
Ryhatz8: i was there early
Ryhatz8: ladies walk by im like OOOOOOOH ILL READ THIS LANGUAGE ARTS TEXT BOOK



"Look at the size of that trunk!...You can fit atleast 2 or 3 bodies in there"


* Famous last words: Dont worry, its not loaded.


* I have crossed and recrossed the line between sanity and madness so many times that I have all but rubbed it out.


CockerStyle23: blow jobs are for dirty people
CockerStyle23: good thing im a dirty people


Make your mom proud, take home a Smart Girl, better yet take home seven.


People say im one odd cookie... mmmmm i like cookies


* When you know more about what's wrong, you can help make it worse.


I wanted to make a hitlist, but i figured it would be far shorter if i made a non-hit list, so if ur NOT on this list watch ur back....
I LOVE EVERYBODY ***People that really know me will not only find this humerous....they will.....well they will find this humerous


I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though


Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.


Hatz: gots my hairs cuts
Blake: boooooooooo LOL hair cuts suc
Hatz: i look hot now
Blake: and ur tellin me thsi y? LOL u want me to kiss u r somethin? LMAO
Hatz: if u dersire
Blake: fuck that lol
Blake: my boyfriend would be pissed


Ryhatz8: jonathan
Ryhatz8: ummm
Ryhatz8: adaisewicz
Kaospsychoelf: WHAT did u call me
Kaospsychoelf: u peaace of shit
Ryhatz8: big bad ol a-z sounds kinda nice with the name jonathan AWWWWWWW
CockerStyle23: jonathan
CockerStyle23: ummm
CockerStyle23: adaisewicz
Kaospsychoelf: Fuck u
Ryhatz8: LMFAO
Kaospsychoelf: fuck u and kyle
Ryhatz8: 3 some?
Kaospsychoelf: no
Kaospsychoelf: u 2 with a corn cob


You can mess with my wife
You can mess with my money
You fuck with my gun..

Your fucking with your life


I think school is a goverment scam to piss kyle off


Kyle: Paul, shut ur mouth
Paul: u shut ur mouth
Kyle: shut up...u stink
Paul: u shut up...u stink
Justin: how bout u both shut up, expecaly u paul, u dirty mexican


Ok, here is my nice atempt at a hate letter. I think our goverernment is a load of horse shit. Ok, first of all, everything costs money, EXPECIALY if you want to stay out of trouble, but they have all kinds of half baked laws saying you pretty much cant work unless your over 16. That in itself is a Load of shit. Then, because kids cant work, they wonder why everybody steals for what they want. Because they dont have the money for it because the government is a fucked up piece of shit. So what do we have left to do? Stuff thats free, which mostly gets us fines or arrested, which is bad, because you cant pay them because you didnt have any money in the first place. Everybody brags about how our government is awsome, but i think its a total scam to fuck everybody over. And so far its been working, well if i have anything to do about it, im gunna put a stop to it. Our government is a very corrupt piece of shit, but all the big fuckers in DC have there heads to far up there ass's to realize what the fuck they screwed up. They are using all of there citizens for there personal bitches and it is getting pretty sickning. Kind of like how when your 18 you can serve for your country (because again the fuckers at DC are to pansy) but yet you cant have a drink to celibrate. Or how the working class has to pay taxes on everything. They dont seem to realize that we controll there income, so they shouldnt piss us all of, but its a little to late for that shit.


Successful suicide is invariably fatal


"How would you like a nice cup of, Shut the f$&* up!?"


P8tBalL PlAyA69: make luv to tiffy faget
OK, first of all, just because you havnt and will never get any, from any girl nomatter how ugly, doesnt mean you can try to say shit...and second, learn how to spell faggot...and who's the faggot that humps everybody and shoves shit up his ass?? The ONLY way you will ever get any is by molesting everybody, so keep up the good work, you usless pile of shit...


Never hit a man with glasses...
Hit him with a baseball bat.


No, I'm not feeling violent, I'm feeling creative with weapons


This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.


The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them.


Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.


bptenischik: whatever i don't drink
CockerStyle23: that sux


CockerStyle23: This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.
Kaospsychoelf: lol
Kaospsychoelf: yes
Kaospsychoelf: u show that person the shovel
Kaospsychoelf: then u smack the fucker in the head with it
Kaospsychoelf: "hey what r u going to do with the shovel" "I dont know" :::SMACK::: I'll just imperivise a little u fuck :::SMACK,SMACK,SMACK,SMACK:::


UnroyalJester420: go get hyper on YOURSELF LMAO!!!
KaosKidz23: ok......
KaosKidz23: if you insist
UnroyalJester420: lmao just go away when u do it
KaosKidz23: no im gunna sit right next to u
UnroyalJester420: gets scissors out
KaosKidz23: ::ducks::
UnroyalJester420: i aint cuttin ur hair u moron
KaosKidz23: o
KaosKidz23: sry


KaosKidz23: im on crack
MAgBoy09: i noticed


Girls' English
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
"It's your decision" = The correct Decision should be obvious by now!
"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later!
"We need to talk" = I need to bitch.
"Sure......Go ahead" = I don't want you too.
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset,You stupid moron!
"How much do u love me?" = I did Something Today your not goin' like me for...
"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
"You have to learn to Communicate!" = Just agree with me.
"Are you listening to me?" = Too late, You're dead!


Guy's English
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy
"I'm tired " = I'm tired
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventaully like to have Sex with you.
"Can I take you to Dinner?" = I'd eventaully like to have Sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventaully like to have Sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventaully like to have Sex with you.
"Nice Dress" = Nice Cleavage.
"You look tensed, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong? " = What meaningless self inflicted pshyc hological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you" = Let's have sex right now!
"I love you too" = Okay i said it we'd better have Sex now!
"Let's talk" = I am tryin' to impress you by shown that I'm a Deep Person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me!
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegel for you to have sex with other guys.


Jenna: man i need a laptop, so i can bring you to bed with me


"life is a game of cards, and i already lost, so who gives a fuck what i do untill i die?" ~me


PodBitch- noun, adjective- In paintball a pod is the plastic tube that players use to hold their paintballs. The PodBitch is the person who picks up those pods and then fills them. The PodBitch is the most important person on the team


If you are Fearless..
If you are powerfull..
You are unstoppable...


KaosKidz23: tomorow i get to paintball in the snow :-)
GoSu TupaN: Tommorow i got to do nothing but sit on my mexican ass and eat hot pockets


TimiosKate5152: what to do?
KaosKidz23: something not boring?
TimiosKate5152: like?
KaosKidz23: something fun!
TimiosKate5152: lol
TimiosKate5152: like?
KaosKidz23: hmm
KaosKidz23: idk


* Live for today, Fuck tomorow


* If i wanted your opinion, id take my dick out of your mouth..


9 out of 10 voices in my head say "id tap that"


Some people tell me that i need help, some people can just fuck off and go to hell, damn you wanna criticize me!!!


KaosKidz23: homless people like to rape sissys
Phate2262: good i like being raped
Phate2262: especially by homeless people


If my mind's the weapon,
My heart's the extra clip


Smeff63: your a fucking prick
KaosKidz23: i know i am
KaosKidz23: it runs in the family


When I missed our anniversayr, I figured I'd be at her birthday.
When I missed her birthday, I figured I'd see her on Christmas.
When I missed her on Christmas, she understood my priorities.
--When paintball comes first, nothing comes second.


proud supporter teenage sex, illegal acts, and underage drinking


the only bounce a shocker should have, is when it hits the bottom of the garbage can
-P8tBalL PlAyA69: nice shocker joke ass clown lol


-we finally did it, we finally got a trophy, 5man trophy dash, Stalker Paintball, 6/26/04


You know, friends are bull shit. You think you finally made some good friends, but then they ditch you to be with some chick at dairy queen, leaving there "friend" sit at home eating chocolate chip cookies, and they donít even have the balls to tell you they donít want to hang out, they just hang up on you. Thatís completely fuckin bull shit, I mean a friend will be there before you start goin out with a chick, and they would be there after, but when you repeatedly ditch them they wont be around when your girlfriend isnít there anymore, maybe if everybody took that into consideration they would act the way they do. A lot of people take "friendships" for granted because they think they will always be there, but after you walk all over someone for so long they wont be there when you need it most, because you were to busy spending time with your girlfriend when they needed you the most.(not the "" around friendship, friendship is a relative term). -I hope everybody takes this into consideration, especially those who forced me to write this.


Sui Juris Adamo: what are you smoking now?
KaosKidz23: crack
Sui Juris Adamo: nice
KaosKidz23: u want some?
Sui Juris Adamo: not from you thanks
KaosKidz23: o so now ur to good for my crack?


KaosKidz23: dont fall down the steps and hit your face on the wall
GBEbabe66: wuts that supposed to mean?
KaosKidz23: idk


JJ, its obvious that you want to spent time with Kayla instead of your friends, so dont be supprised if there not there for you when you need them to be....


JJ8VE: i shaved my ass 2 days ago
JJ8VE: now it takes me a while to sit down .. kinda pokey


People say that I don't have any points. but knives have points and I have a lot of knives so therefore I have a lot of points!


I think all humans suffer from an Identity crisis at some point in their life... Makes me glad I'm a rabbit.


You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.


The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas.


Money can't buy love; but it can rent a very close imitation.


You know the world is fucked up when your best rapper is white, your best golf player is black, your tallest basketball player is Chinese, and the Germans don't want to go to war.


BarelyBen: what u think bout Kyle
CLARKBAR2K2: i love this kid
KaosKidz23: ooo i feel special
CLARKBAR2K2: lol oh u should
CLARKBAR2K2: but its not that stick it in ur butt love so dont get the abusole out


KyleBroflowski: good thing i dont jump out of moving cars frequently my knee and hip are pretty sore today


10 seconds....
You're team is all around you. You'd trust these people with your life.
9 seconds....
Your marker is in your hands; you control it. It won't laugh at you, won't look down at you.
8 seconds....
Pods are filled, hoppers loaded.
7 Seconds....
You're focused. There is nothing else but now. The world outside of the field seems to disolve.
6 Seconds....
You know where everyone is going, you know where you are going: you and you're team are connected, are one.
5 Seconds....
You can't do this alone, everyone is in it for everyone else.. .there is no hero, only heros.
4 Seconds....
You're heart starts pounding, you dig your cleats into the dirt and lower your head....
3 Seconds....
This is what it is all about. This is what you live for, you breathe for.
2 Seconds....
Every waking moment is spent anticipating what is about to come...
1 Second....
No turning back.


With all your heart and soul you play, like nothing else matters.
This is no sport. This is no sinking a ball into a hole in the is about an inner challenge. To work together, relying on
yourself AND your teammates. Without one another you are
nothing. There is no victory without the Team. You see your
opponent down field. You both have the same goal. The same
respect for each other. A split second means the difference
between staying around another few crucial minutes to strengthen your team. Use your head. This is not something
for the slow-witted.
Anyone can play.
Anyone with heart, dedication, determination, bravery, focus,
intent.
This is what We live for.
This is our Passion. Our way of life.
When we work, every single dime we can spare goes toward
our Chosen Way of Life. Every dime brings us closer to another chance to go out and Live. To play. To simply be who
we are.
Go ahead. Call me obsessed. My obsession reaches farther
than you can imagine. This is my chosen lifestyle.
This is my
lifeblood. I eat, sleep, and breathe for a chance to play one
more day. This is beyond obsession. This is who I am. My passion, my Life.
Our obsession, Our Love.
I am a Paintballer.
We are a Team.


KaosKidz23: word on the street has it you ordered an ion
jjmmrr2323: yea
jjmmrr2323: i did
KaosKidz23: what happened to "smartparts being the evil empire"
jjmmrr2323: changed my mind
jjmmrr2323: about it
jjmmrr2323: and took a diff perseptive
KaosKidz23: what perspective?
jjmmrr2323: just a different one
KaosKidz23: head lodged up your ass?
jjmmrr2323: no
KaosKidz23: and its kind of interesting how you started out with a $1000 viking....and trickled down to a $300 ion dont you?
jjmmrr2323: yea i do
KaosKidz23: what made you decide to let that happen?
jjmmrr2323: that i didnt have much money
KaosKidz23: ok and 1 more question....you do realize the first like 10,000 are going ot be junk right?
KaosKidz23: look at the 03 shocker....
KaosKidz23: in the first like 1500 models they didnt even spell "patent" right
jjmmrr2323: yes i realize that
KaosKidz23: so y didnt you wait till they got the bugs worked out of em?
jjmmrr2323: ill take the chance
KaosKidz23: lol its not much of a chance....its pretty much a garuntee
jjmmrr2323: ok




hasi4267: thats so mean im just a poor little german girl okay


R O S E 2 4 8 0: i havent seen you in forever it seems like
R O S E 2 4 8 0: lol
KaosKidz23: does that mean you wanna have sex?
R O S E 2 4 8 0: exactly what i meant


ErOg5188: 64 oz of pure unadulterated water


RKpaintballer1: sell me your viking


GoSu TupaN: he goes to some gay school where "everyone is a winner"


We have enough youth
How about a fountain of smart


KaosKidz23: i think i am chipping in with a kid for some
PF36 P8NT: ok
KaosKidz23: "you just got TEABAGGED now sit down"
PF36 P8NT: lol
PF36 P8NT: but!
KaosKidz23: ?
PF36 P8NT: if they got teabagged, theyd have to be sitting already
PF36 P8NT: or laying
KaosKidz23: not if you have a ladder


ImportRacer0101: yea well i just want to know who told brooke that i was dating ashley...
ImportRacer0101: it was either you or chupa..
ImportRacer0101: i dont tlk to anyone esle at that school.
KaosKidz23: y the fuck does it matter?
ImportRacer0101: because it does.
KaosKidz23: are you ashamed that your dating her?
ImportRacer0101: because i wasnt dating her.
ImportRacer0101: ur the one that told her?
KaosKidz23: no i didnt tell her you were going out with her
ImportRacer0101: what did u tell her?
KaosKidz23: y does it matter
ImportRacer0101: because it does.
ImportRacer0101: thats so fucking rude
ImportRacer0101: i would never do that to you.
KaosKidz23: lol are you ashamed that your going out with ashley?
ImportRacer0101: what are u looking for a peice of ass or something from her?
KaosKidz23: from brooke?
ImportRacer0101: thats what it seems like
ImportRacer0101: its like i cant even tell u shit
KaosKidz23: how so? cuz were friends?
ImportRacer0101: u go run off and tell brooke "michaels doing this michaels doing that"
KaosKidz23: yea cuz i told her how much of a dumbass you were being?
ImportRacer0101: how fucking immature.
ImportRacer0101: its really her buisness...
KaosKidz23: i like how you can say that
ImportRacer0101: u know how hard of a time im having with this shit
ImportRacer0101: ur just making it alot worse.
KaosKidz23: im actualy going to graduate
ImportRacer0101: whatever fuck you.
ImportRacer0101: dont even talk to me anymore
ImportRacer0101: dont call me either.
KaosKidz23: if your having such a hard time with it y are you dating that dumb whore
ImportRacer0101 signed off at 10:13:13 PM.
>>>>>>>>>note how he avoided answering the question about if he was ashamed that he is dating the dumb whore.


JJ8VE: drama = avoided = MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!
JJ8VE: woo


Ryhatz8: why are people so fuckin stupid, why cant more be interigent, rike me


kittie laces (9:06:45 PM): ahhh i like having you as a stalker


Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


PF36 P8NT (12:09:36 AM): I have t3h pix
KaosKidz23 (12:10:53 AM): u talk 1337 now?
PF36 P8NT (12:10:19 AM): nah
PF36 P8NT (12:10:22 AM): jsut for that occasion



ryhatz8 (11:55:55 PM): when i eat my steak. i pretend like im on dicovery channel
ryhatz8 (11:56:00 PM): a lion rippin apart a zebra


If NISMO = Nissan Motorsports.
Then does HOMO = Honda Motorsports???


KaosKidz23 (11:07:51 PM): any good movies comming out soon?
TheOnlyRemains (11:05:45 PM): hell if i know
TheOnlyRemains (11:05:56 PM): i hardly know what month it is


Kyle: just cant find any that are up to my standards
Kyle: and the ones that are are way out of my league
Jason N: maybe you should lower your standards
Kyle: sry not into sheep
Jason N: LOL....
Jason N: goats?????
Kyle: nah i prefer 2 legged creatures
Jason N: Kangaroo's??/
Kyle: rofl
Kyle: they have 4 legs, they just use all of em
Kyle: i think
Kyle: maybe not
Jason N: what about Rosy????
Kyle: rosy o'donnel?
Kyle: dont think shes into men
Kyle: LOL
Jason N: Palm
Kyle: yes, thats why i have to clean my own kitchen







©2003-2008 KYLE STILLINGS
QUIT COPYING MY SHIT
spastic cerebral palsy