Once again, he's doing it. And I hate it. I hate it so much. I can hear the fakeness in his laugh. He looks so insecure but I seem to be the only one who notices it. Everyone else just thinks this is the way he is. But I know him better than that. I know this is all a façade.

"Hey Chester, what about that girl over there? The redhead?" I hear Joe ask.

He turns his head to the left and checks out the girl, who seems to be paying for some lingerie. Giving a low whistle, he looks at us again.

"She is hot!" he says, a half smile on his face. Can't they see that this is just an act?

"What about you, Mike?" Brad asks me. "See anything you like?"

Well duh. The person I adore is like, sitting right next to me, even if he is acting like a jerk at the moment. But that's all I'm afraid.

"Erm..." I scan the shopping precinct, not actually looking at the women around me. "Nah, not really. They're not really my type."

"Aw, come on Mike," Chester urges. "There's got to be something that takes your fancy."

Oh my God. How the fuck can he just say that when he's sitting right next to me and he know for a fact that women just freak me out. I cannot bear to think of them that way. And how he's faking it is just so annoying. Why he's playing along with them is beyond me.

"I think I know what turns me on," I reply. "And unfortunately, none of these women do it for me."

The guys laugh at me; they think I'm just frigid. Brad knows that I've only ever had two girlfriends but he doesn't know why I've only had two. See, they think they know so much but really they don't know me at all. They don't know Chester either. Then again, neither do I sometimes.

I can see him eyeing up the women who are walking by and inside me, something is about to explode. This is totally annoying me. I fucking want to throttle him. Why can't he just own up to it? Why is he hiding from the truth when he's around the others? I mutter something in his ear and we get up together. The others give us puzzled looks.

"We're just going to... check out art materials." I say. They shrug their shoulders and start talking about something else. I knew they wouldn't mind.

We walk to the toilets, where I glare at him for a few minutes, anger boiling up inside me.

"What?" He asks me. "What are you so mad about?"

"What am I so mad about?! Oh my God, isn't it obvious?" I spit.

"No, it isn't!"

"Chester, you're fucking lying to them out there! Eyeing up every woman you see! And what I don't understand is why you're doing it!"

"So this is what it's all about, is it? I see. You want me to tell them, don't you? Well Mike, it's not as simple as that."

"But it is! All you have to say is 'Guys, I'm gay. And Mike and I are together.' They'll understand. They're not going to get all mad and not talk to us for the rest of our lives!"

"But we don't know that!"

"Yes, we do! We've known them long enough to know their reactions and I know they would be cool with us!"

"I dunno..." He leans against the wall, a little unsteady. So vulnerable yet so strong.

"Chester... are you ashamed of us? Are you ashamed of the fact that you like guys and not chicks?"

"No-"

"Or are you ashamed of me?"

I wait for an answer. He does nothing but look at me. I can see it in his eyes, he is. He's ashamed of having a boyfriend. Oh my fucking god. I can't believe this. After all I've done for him! I have lied for him so many times, like the time when he answered the phone at my apartment early in the morning and when the guys asked me about it, I said we were working on a new project. I never told them we were sleeping together. And when they found the books on exploring the "other" sexual side, I said they were mine, so he wouldn't get discovered. And we always hung out around my area, not his, so his neighbours didn't know. Well, all that comes to an end now. He can shove it where the sun don't shine.

"Well, that explains everything. And anyway, it doesn't matter any more because we're over."

I see the astonishment mingled with hurt in his eyes and suddenly this gets so much harder. I storm out of the toilets, fighting the tears that are pricking at the corner of my eyes. I can't live without him but I'm not going to let him keep pushing me into the background. I can hear him calling my name but I'm not going to give in and let him stop me. As I walk through the mall, I can hear Avril Lavigne's song, Complicated echoing and the pain aching in my heart mounts. I dash up the stairs to the top floor and find the secret staircase that Brad and I found when we were 13. I find myself on the rooftop, surrounded by the air conditioning and litter. Sitting down, I realise what I've actually done. Chester and I are no more. Oh my. As I doodle on the rooftop with my permanent marker, silent tears start to make their way down my face. I fucking hate him but I love him so much. But I'm not going to let him hurt me any more. No way. He makes me feel so confused about myself, thinking that there's something wrong with me by the way he's always faking. The number of nights I laid awake, thinking about the whole situation. He changes so much around other people. I miss the caring, sweet Chester who seemed to love me so much it ached. And I can't take this no more.

Somehow, he manages to find me on the rooftop. I can see he doesn't want to let me go but there's nothing I can do. If he'd rather lie about us then admit that he was a shirt-lifter, then we're not meant to be together. This I tell him and desperately he tries to keep me with him. But it's too late. I depart from the rooftop, leaving him with only memories of me. My heart is filled with a deep pain but he only had himself to blame. He was the one who made everything so complicated.