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* * * The Story
The Sorry Sire Chronicles
By: Delicious Den aka piglet

On a day when most teens would be listening to the new hit song on MTV or getting a flick haircut [Austin Jones style, aka when it's gelled up in the front] me, Dennis Ivarsson thought of starting a real band [not one where there was problems and everyone hated each other, and one which everyone could enjoy the melodies]. I was sick of listening to my Hanson c.d., so I said to myself, "I'm as hot as them, why not get chicks by saying 'I'M IN A BAND'?" So I called an unknown man that drove a Pontiac Sunbird, his name and still is Josh [Matthias - unknown Mormon name] Brown. He brought over his beastly amp aka a 15 watt shoebox with an outlet and a speaker. We tried to throw something together. It sounded pretty good and we wanted to get something going. Through unknown resources, Randall Clarkson, [guitarist for the BADASS controversial hardcore crusty punk band RIPE/ dracula solo lord/mr miyagi, and solo artist/piano style, and brazilian] said he would pound on his drummers set to see what we sounded like. We hit it off quite sensually and recorded our 2 songs that we had at that time [what if?, tomorrow and today] on a piece of shit hardcore black tape from Walgreens. This went on and on for about a month, and considering Randall couldn't be our drummer [he serves big macs to children and writes inappropriate cards to children that got molested (Cassey's House early crew, great job everyone)]. We needed to look for a permanent solution. A good friend that looked like a professional said he had always wanted to play drums and I said, "Hey cylinder fro, aka fly, you're in my fucking band." He said some OUT OF CONTROL sarcastic comment like "Sorry Sire, not punk enough for pro, plus i work in the fields [rice]." I didn't accept his answer and made him be in the band. He soon bought a magnificant drum set with a GREAT CYMBOL. We started practicing together as much as we could. Since all 3 of us are more sarcastic than the P.E. teacher MR. BURCHAM, we wanted to represent something serious/sarcastic and funny so i said let's call it "Sorry Sire" since we all say the phrase casually on a daily basis anyways. We have influences, from Homegrown to Bad Brains to Prince. We're still going big as a trio and plan on being around longer than your grandma's mustache. For now, we'll just be teens.