BIO'S

PAUL

Paul enjoys math equations and learning how to cook. He recently gave birth to a 9 and a half pound sloth. His favorite bands are AFI, Catch 22, and NOFX. Once in a while, Paul will shave his back and sing showtunes. Look out ladies, he's an omnivore! Oh yeah, he eats babies....

JUSTICE

Justice is 4 years old and has 8 parents. He enjoys riding bikes with no seats and gazing at the sun. He knows how to play the trombone underwater. His favorite day of the week is Thursday and he likes to eat his own feces. One time, he met Mickey Mouse and shat his pants while crying and rubbing one out on a sexy dolphin. Hey now!

MATT

Matt is 450 years old. He cannot speak a word of English and sometimes is mistaken for a wildabeast. He likes staring at things while drooling and massaging his thighs with warm cocoa-butter. Matt's favorite time of day is 7:58a.m. He enjoys being beaten with a manitee and he only has one asscheek. He lacks the ability to breathe. Watch out!