getting closer....

hey guys, just saying the big day is making its way in less than a week, dont forget.
...joel, i knwo somethings up, are you ok about this wedding? i know youre not sleeping and have been sick..is it the nerves????
..i just wanna know,its killing me not knowing...
love you joel
sam xxxxx

oh my god im soooo sorry joel
JOEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i didnt know i blocked you! oh my god im SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry. i hate msn, its totally screwed, but i swear I DIDNT KNOW
im an ass..wow what a great wife im gonna be...
but im soo soo soo sorry joel..i dont even know why youre marrying me...
sam x

not feeling great...
hey,
well sorry i havent blogged for ages, im trying to keep this as short as possible but oh well...
well i havent been great, i was rushed to hospital yesterday...and thats where i am now...
....apparently when i got shot, the wound didnt heal that well...it ripped into a hole in my chest...which is why ive been feeling light headed and dizzy...and why i couldnt breathe yesterday and passed out....
...im so sorry joel..i didnt mean to scare you...or sare...or nixie...i love you joel..
love to maddie and joel
sam x

maddie maddie maddie...MINE!lol
hey,

well i think im going to have to put maddie in a safety box..you guys love her too much!lol, ive had four people say theyre gonna steal her...i think she has this magic over adults.lol, im not complaining, exceot NO ONE STEAL! i will beat you to the ground...then joel can just yell at you, lol.
aw joke joely, love you. and im sorry if ive been abit werid lately. i didnt mean it and im sorry*mwuah*
well i was bored so now im going to go and talk to MADDIE, my CHILD, lol...*waves*
tahtah
sam x

new years is on its way...
hey guys,
well i came back from the uk on christmas eve-dont worry everythings sorted now-and joel picked me up. i cant tell you how thrilled i was to see him, AND maddie. id missed them both soo much, even though it was just a couple of days.
so we went back to his mums and saw sare and benj and stayed til about...12, maybe one in the morning. so we opened some presents with them, said bye and went back home and spent christmas as a family, for the first time. and it was nice....
...well i felt abit screwed for a christmas present for joel as id already gave him his wedding ring, so i pondered over it for ages and still thought i hadnt got anything. but i think i found a pretty nice present.
when joel goes back on tour i know most of the time me and maddie will have to stay at home, so i found a picture of me joel and maddie taken when maddie was born and had it put in a little frame. on the back in tiny gold lettering it said
"there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart...love you always, sam amd maddie xxxxx"
i know stupid present but hey,he can see us everyday now, even when we're not with him...
well if i dont post again i hope everyone has a good new year, i dont know whats happening yet but hey have a good one!
tahtah
sam x

im off....

this is just to say im on the plane now to england, i'll be back soon...
*sighs* ok this is weird, i want to go because,well i need to. i dont wanna go because its killing me to leave maddie and joel behind. but ive got to..i need to do this.
i love you joel, im sure everything'll be ok. give my love to your mom....
*looks at necklace round neck*
*picks up the ring at the end*
*looks at the inside engraving*
............* "sam...love you sis!pete x" *
................*tear rolls down face*

sam x

snowball fights
hey guys,
lol, joel you offically SUCK at snowball fights, i win, you lose, hehe.*jumps up and down* and if joel tries to tel you different i have pictures to prove it, lmao!
peace
sam x

i'll be back soon guys..

..well i know this is short notice, but ive got to go to england for a couple of days. i promise i'll be back on christmas eve...but i need to go do something.
i never told anyone, not even joel, but im not really an only child like everyone thinks...i had an older brother...pete. he was so sweet and amazing, the best guy i could know...but when i was 14 he died in a car crash...around this time of year..he was hit by a truck...he barely made it to hospital.....*tears*
its still a really tender subject to talk about, but i guess thats why i went off the rails when i was a kid and well...never talked about it.
i love you joel, thanks for being there for me, i love you soo much
im going on sunday, be back wednesday, ok?
peace
sam x

birthday surprises...yay!
hey guys!thanks soo much for the presents, they were soo cool and nice! lol
aww joel,i love you SOO much! on my birthday he said he was taking me out and dropping maddie off at sare's for the night. so while joel did that i got ready and im proud to say i FINALLY fit into this short black dress that i brought just before i got pregnant. then joel came back...i THINK he liked the dress (hehe) and he looked REALLY nice...very cute and hot. so we got in the car and he took me to this fancy restaurant where we went on our first date. i remember it because he tried to make it so nice and i remembered seeing him standing outside the restaurant looking SO nervous, i was too...
anyway we went in and had a really nice dinner, really quiet and romantic. then later on that night we went home but joel said "close your eyes" which i thought was funny but i did, and he walked me in...and it was ...AMAZING. he'd came back in before we left and placed a trail of rose petals from the living room to the bedroom and there were little delicate candles all lit around the room. it took my breath away..joel was grinning because he knew i was happy. he put "pictures of you" on the stereo by The Cure..which is my FAVOURITE song...it was so nice that he'd gone to all that trouble.
then he took me upstairs and told me to sit on the bed while he got my present, so i sat there while he was diving into the wardrobe and he brought out a huge binded scrap book that he'd made for me!
it was so touching...he still had all the cinema stubs and receipts from all the times we'd gone out, all these little messages id left him when i had to leave early or just silly notes i left, he even had a picture of us on the front when we first started dating. lol, we looked so different!kinda scary what two years can do to you
and there were pictures from times we'd gone out and from shows id been to with him and when we first found out about maddie and pictures of me when my tummy was growing bigger, there were even the hospital bracelets we all had to wear when maddie finally came into the world.
it was the best present in the WORLD, i nearly cried my eyes out..it was PERFECT! so yeah i had a great birthday
and yeap joely *cough* birthday lovin*cough* hehe *winks*
so thought u guys might wanna hear about my amazing birthday, now its just christmas and new year, woo!
tahtah
sam x
p.s i love you soooo much joel, youre present was the most touching thing ive ever had, thankyou so much XxXxXxXx

wow...christmas is on its way
hey guys, yeah i thought i might just add that, damn i really need to go christmas shopping. well i would! ive got the flu! so unfair, i dont want to go too near maddie incase i give it her and its like sucking my soul out of me, but joels being really sweet.
so erm....GET CHRISTMAS SHOPPING PEOPLE!
sam x
p.s only 5 more days til my birthday! yay!