sleep deprived joel
hey everyone..yeah so the wedding is in...*counts* like 6 days...yeah i'll admit i guess i'm a lil' nervous. i mean, if loosing sleep, getting light head and nausious every so often is nervous then yeah im a lil nervous. all i want is for everything to be perfect for sam.

i talk to benj...i was glad that he took up my offer and said that he would be my best man..and as the best man he is throwing me a bachlor party...plus a place to sleep the night before...so all the guys are invited ask benji for details cus' i don't really know what he has planned.

i've been talking to travel angencies a lot these past weeks and i finally got us booked a honeymoon
-2 first class air plane tickets and the 'honeymoon suite' at the most luxory hotel in beautiful ______________...ha ha sorry sam if you want it to be a surprise later, then it will be a surprise later, and those of you who already know...shhhh!

well thats it....i'm a little tired....seeing i went to bed at 3am.....tossed and turned for an hour (sorry sam) and finally fell asleep around 4...then waking up pretty early....and finally taking a nice 2 hour nap back in bed...

well...that is all

Keep Rockin' The Free World!
PeACe!
-j031

(ps: sorry for worrying sam, ill be fine k?)

look at me blog!!!
ONE MONTH SINCE MY LAST BLOG!!!! WOOT WOOT

so yeah just a little blog to apologize for holding back a whole month and letting you all know that i'm still alive and kickin'.

keep in mind sam and i's wedding is commin' up soon....(valentines' day ) oh yeah that reminds me, benj, i need to talk to you and ask ya something..... :/

what else what else....maddie...
madeline has this new thing (BTW she'll be 2 months old pretty soon) well she has this new thing she likes to...especially to me...and usally only me...and it's pulling, yanking, and pulling some more and on basically anything in reach as long as it's attatch to me...like the cords on my hoodies, the chains around my neck, my ears sometimes, and even the small amount of hair i have...(luvin' the leopard) anyways yeah, i think she's out to kill me... and its not just a little tug-tug....its a pull and a tight grasp which she won't let go..and of course sam just think it's hilarious.....oh well i still love them both

remember that camping idea brouht up a long time ago....let's hope it wasn't forgotten cus i think it still sounds like an awsome idea...i mean c'mon think about it.....

me and my 'temper' and putting up a tent...
someone playin' an acoustic around a fire...
all the little fights and arguments that will arise..
(me and ben get into fight after fight after fight and eventually throwing one another into the ocean)
all the little couples and their own tents...muaahaha

so yeah you get the point..i hope we still get to go that'd be an adventure


well the superbowl is about to come on and i think a few of the 'guys' are commin over to watch it or something...

Keep Rockin' The Free World!
PeAcE!
J031

i love you samantha and i can't wait XD

Screaming Infidelities
sorry, i've had that song ^^ stuck in my head for the past few days, ask sam, i've been walking around the house singing it....damn you dashboard lol kidding

sorry for not blogging since like...3 weeks ago..

so lets go back to christmas....it was good
i drove up myself, madeline sarah and benji to our mom's place and we spent a lotta time there untill i went and picked up sam at the airport...then we went back to my mom's for some more visiting...then me sam and the baby returned home for a nice quiet christmas eve-evening (??) yeah lol

christmas day was grand..saw lots of friends and family...so can't really complain there...

new years was good...mmm new years...lol kidding kidding

so what's new now.....well maddie woke up with a little fever today, we were all pretty worried but after a cool bath she felt a little better, so im sure she'll be better for her one month birthday (which, if you havent marked it on your calenders is tomorrow!!! lol monday jan:5th)

samantah threaten to take away all my rap music today lol yea...oh by the way sam : thang...Thang..THANG!!!! lol


...maybe i SHOULD get my nipple(s) pierced...hmmm> lol(member our little deal sam? i get mine done and.......ya you should remember the rest muahahah)


I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
& this bottle of beast is taking me home.

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
You're not alone & you're not discreet.
Make sure I know who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again.

Theres not a word that I comprehend,
except when you signed it
"I'll love you always & forever"

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder...
how you're making out.
But as for me I wish that I was anywhere...
With anyone...
making out

I'm missing your laugh, how did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending

Im cuddling close to blanket and sheets
I am alone in my defeat
I wish I knew you were safely at home

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of Beast is taking me home.
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder...
how you're making out.
But as for me I wish that I was anywhere...
With anyone...
making out

Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
And taking its wear.

-----Scremaing Infidelities > Dashboard Confessional
yeah good song, i suggest you either download it or buy the cd...its worth it....well thats my two cents XD

well i shall go now

Keep Rockin' The Free World!
PeAcE!
-J031

waiting patiently dot dot dot
*sigh* im soooo fricken bored...its like late tuesday night and i have nothign better to do....sams still at "home" and i'm not tired...so i got this off Josh's blog.... here ya go:

~LAYER ONE~
-- Name: Joel Ryan Rueben Madden
-- Birth date: March 11th baby
-- Birthplace: Annapolis, MD
-- Current Location: erm..computer room?
-- Eye Color: Brown
-- Hair Color: black and red
-- Height: 5’9
-- Righty or Lefty: right

~LAYER TWO~
-- Your heritage: Irish/American
-- The shoes you wore today: Vans
-- Your weakness: haha.. ask sam
-- Your fears: hm....death maybe? loosing someone you love
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: hmm i guess thats kinda personal...

~LAYER THREE~
-- Your first thoughts waking up: damnit
-- Your best physical feature: muahaha....do i even have to say it ; ) ; )
-- Your bedtime: no time
-- Your most missed memory: not sure

~LAYER FOUR~
-- Pepsi or Coke: water
-- McDonald's or Hungry Jack: my mom's cooking
-- Single or group dates: doesn't matter
--Adidas or Nike: both plus many more
--Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: mmm both
-- Chocolate or vanilla: probably both too
-- Cappuccino or coffee: doesn't matter

~LAYER FIVE~
-- smoke: no
-- Sing: sometimes
-- Take a shower everyday: pretty much
-- Have a crush(es): yeah her name's samantha bu shh don't say anything, its a secret
-- Do you think you've been in love: i AM in love
-- Want to get married: yeah
-- Get motion sickness: rarely
-- Think you're a health freak: haha kinda
-- Get along with your parents?: i love my mom
-- Like thunderstorms: sure
-- Play an instrument: i can play guitar sometimes

~LAYER SIX~
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: not like heavily
-- Smoked: no
-- Done a drug: past month? no
-- Gone on a date: i took sam out for her birthday does that count?
-- Gone to the shops?: considering that it's chrismtas, yea
-- Eaten an entire box of biscuits: probably
-- Eaten sushi: yup
-- Been on stage: ...yes
-- Been dumped: no
-- Gone skating: no, but i wouldn't mind it
-- Made homemade cookies: no but that could be fun
-- Gone skinny dipping: not in the past month
-- Dyed your hair: yeah
-- Stolen anything: nope

~LAYER SEVEN~
Ever..
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: of course
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: unfortunatly
-- Been called a tease: lol!
-- Gotten beaten up: yeah
-- Shoplifted: i dont think so
-- Changed who you were to fit in: nah

~LAYER EIGHT~
-- what's with the layers?: layers layers and more layers
-- Age you hope to be married: before next birthday?
-- Numbers and Names of Children: so far i have 1 daughter- Madeline Lily Madden
-- Describe your dream wedding: its a secret
-- How do you want to die: real fast and i didn't even know it happened
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: continue what i'm doin now
-- What country would you most like to visit: lots

~LAYER NINE~
In a guy/girl..
-- Best eye color? doens't matter
--Best hair color? doesn't matter
-- Short or long hair: doesn't matter
-- Height: preferably not much taller than me
-- Best weight: average
-- Best articles of clothing: ...none lloll! JUST KIDDING!
-- Best first date location: beach, movies, empty house, etc
-- Best first kiss location: read above answer

~LAYER TEN~
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: i duno
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: trust with my life...okay um, 8
-- Number of CDs that I own: 78429....sike i duno lots
-- Number of piercings: 0 but i used to have one (eyebrow)
-- Number of tattoos: i don't know....a little under lots?
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: quite a few times lately
-- scars on my body: a few
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: hmm..lol


oy okay im still bored...
but tomrrow i get to see sam XD
and my mom
i'm driving me, sarah and benji out there tomorrow morning and visiting for the day untill i have to pick samantha up at the airport

that is all

Keep Rockin' The Free World!
PeAcE
-j031

baby, all i want for christmas, is you
so sam has gone back home for a few days...
i'm sitting here in the house....alone....well, not completely alone, i have my daughter here with me keeping my company...*looks over at baby*
sarah is comming over today (thank god)
even though sam hasent even been gone 24hours yet, i miss her like crazy! im bored
well...i should go..Maddie has begun making odd noises, i shall go tend to her needs .... lol
*sigh* samantha i love you and miss you lots!!!! *muah*

Keep Rockin' The Free World!
PeAcE!
-J031

happy birfday sam
so yesterday was sam's birthday so now let me tell you all about it:

around 5:30pmish we drove to paul and sarah's 2 drop off maddiee (they babysat her that night) so after that me and sam were off to dinner. i book us reservations at the restraunt where i took her on our first date (classy restraunt in town) dinner was pretty good and sam look stunning.

after dinner i drove us back home and before we left i told sam to wait in the car for a minute while i "got my wallet etc" when really i went and scattered rose pedals neatly around the living room, stairway and bedroom. i also had candles scattered around more than usual so when we got home sam was a little surprised to see that as i walked her in and started lighting the candles. then i put on some nice 'romantic' music. i slowly led her upstairs and into the bedroom where i was goin to give her her present. i asked her to sit on the bed as i went to the closet to retrieve her gift.

i made her a scrap book. and it wasnt too shabby either..homemade by me and all...:/

the front cover was a picture of me and sam when we were younger...well not too much younger but a picture taken of us when we first started dating. then throughout the book was filled with pictures of us together, receipts from dates we went on, movie stubs and concert tickets we went to together and stuff like that. then as it got towards the back it was stufff like little notes we have written down like ideas for the wedding and pictures of sam as herstomach was growing when she was pregnant and then her and i's hospital bracelets (yea they gave me one too cus i stayed there over night) yea so many of you may be thinking this was kinda cheesy but i sure hope sam liked it. i actaully took a lot of time on this. *proud but idiot smile*

yea... so that was sam's birthday this year...
oh but wait...can't forget the birthday luvin'
muahahaha



just kiddin

; )

well yea sorry if i've been acting a bit pissy lately... just been in a grumpy mood so sorry...

now i must be off to attempt to repair a large hole in the wall caused by my fist a few nights ago :S

Keep Rockin' The Free World!
PeAcE!
-J031

SAMANTHA'S CLUE......*wink*
In the car I just can't wait,
to pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm too scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

Let's go, don't wait, this night's almost over
Honest, let's make this night last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever

When you smile, I melt inside
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please don't look at me with those eyes
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that i'm probably gonna miss

Let's go,don't wait, this night's almost over
Honest, let's make this night last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever

Let's go, don't wait, this night's almost over
Honest, let's make, this night last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever

the WHOLE story
phew, what a wild ride and here the story of December 5th, 2003...

so that morning i woke up freakishly early...like really early...i'm talking like 10:30AM early.. so then me and sam were like...what the hell? why am i up that early..oh well.. good thing i was though...so me and sam were just getting on with our day, the usual but like around 11 ish i got tired ( typical) and went and lay down on the couch. well i dont know what really happened after that...but apparently while samantha was upstairs doin whatever she was doin, her water broke....well i awoke to her yelling my name from upstairs, and at first i didn't really think anything of it, just that she wanted me to come upstairs, untill i got close to the bedroom i could tell in the way her voice was that someone wasn't right. so when i walk in she was there sitting on the floor realy scared and upset and i knew right then what was started. she told me that she had already phoned sarah and paul and that they were on their way over now which was good i suppose. so soon enough they arrived and i was helping samantha down the stairs and out the door. we all got in the car and even though the hospital was 17 miles away, i got us there in at least five minutes...(which included running a stoplight, 2 or 3 stop signs, dodging pedestrians and cars and getting a massive case of road rage) well we got to the hospital adn after filling out a few pages of information about sam and calling like everyone, i was wheeling samantha to her room....not deliverly room, just like 'waiting room' you know? so there we were waiting, and waiting and waiting.... her contractions were like 5 minutes apart...everyone so often the doctor or nurse would come in and tell us how much longer she was from being admitted to deliverly...so about 5 hours later, samantha had one major contraction and she knew it was go time...so did the doctors...they soon gave me hospital wear to wear and we were on our way to the deliverly room...when those doors opened...reality started to sink in...even i got scared then...so after a lot of pushing and squeezing of my hand, and after me almost fainting when the doctor told me to come around for a peek and i saw its head...she did it. and i am sooo proud of her, i know now i could NEVER deliver a baby... at 3:46pm the doctor handed me this littler person wrapped up in a pink blanket and said : congradulations, mr madden. thats when i broke down. there i was....holding my daughter.

*tear*

next day - saturday december 6th

i slept in the hospital that night in the chair next to sams bed. when i woke up, she wasnt awake yet so i decided to go downstairs and get a coffee and by the time i came back sam was awake. she told me that the baby was in the nursry with the other little ones. so we went for a walk to see her. as i squinted to read her card which was on her cot i made out :

IM A GIRL!
name: madden
date: dec. 5
weight: 7lbs 9oz
time: 3:44pm

the nurse told us that she was perfect an as long as she had a name by tomorrow (now today) she and sam could go home. so we took her back to sams room and thought about a name for a while....and the winner is...

MADELINE LILY MADDEN

haha only Benji would point out MADEline...lol

lol one time yesterday, the doctor walked in on sam and i making out on her bed..lol that was awkward...but funny at the same time..


today..


so now here i am, back at home about to pick sam and le bebe up from the hospital, all i gotta do is remeber to bring the baby carrier thing...(???) and i thought i would share this amasing story with you.

well ya'lls, i should get goin, im sure they both want to come home ASAP. so i sould get goin to see 2 of the most beautiful ladies in my life.

Keep Rockin' The Free World
PeAcE
-J031

Cuz I'm trying to see the sun rise today
hey everyone looks like things are pretty much back to normal once again *phew*
paul&sare= good
benj&tony= good
billy&stef= good
benj&me= slowly but surely getting good
and well basically everyone and everyone is good right now...

so looks like the baby will be making her grand arrival anytime this week...so evveryone keep your cell phone and pagers on cause start expecting that call from us while were on the way to the hospital or whatever. Me and Sam were talking today and were both really scared, well i dont really need to worry about a baby coming out of my...hmm. well..yea...but were both kinda uneasy about the whole parenthood thing...but i keep reasuring her were in this together and during the labour process, im gonan be right beside her, never letting go from the time her waterbrakes, to the time i hear that little girl cry. Im still really worried about being a Father though...i don't really know how..which is somewhat embarassing...
samantha's gonan make such a good mom, i just know it :-)

*cough* nine months sam, nine whole months *cough*

; ) ; )

hmm what else what else


So tell me is this world we live in all right
Why does every conversation end in a fight?
Why does every fight keep us apart day and night?
Cuz I'm trying to see the sun rise today

I've been burning bridges
Always burning bridges
I've been burning bridges (I'm looking at a lifetime)
Always burning bridges (in these past three years)

damnit i can't get that song out of my head no matter how hard i try...

well i pretty much have nothign else really to day right now besides the fact im in my boxers eating an orange...

Keep Rockin' The Free World!
PeAcE!
-j031

Cuz I'm trying to see the sun rise today
hey everyone looks like things are pretty much back to normal once again *phew*
paul&sare= good
benj&tony= good
billy&stef= good
benj&me= slowly but surely getting good
and well basically everyone and everyone is good right now...

so looks like the baby will be making her grand arrival anytime this week...so evveryone keep your cell phone and pagers on cause start expecting that call from us while were on the way to the hospital or whatever. Me and Sam were talking today and were both really scared, well i dont really need to worry about a baby coming out of my...hmm. well..yea...but were both kinda uneasy about the whole parenthood thing...but i keep reasuring her were in this together and during the labour process, im gonan be right beside her, never letting go from the time her waterbrakes, to the time i hear that little girl cry. Im still really worried about being a Father though...i don't really know how..which is somewhat embarassing...
samantha's gonan make such a good mom, i just know it :-)

*cough* nine months sam, nine whole months *cough*

; ) ; )

hmm what else what else


So tell me is this world we live in all right
Why does every conversation end in a fight?
Why does every fight keep us apart day and night?
Cuz I'm trying to see the sun rise today

I've been burning bridges
Always burning bridges
I've been burning bridges (I'm looking at a lifetime)
Always burning bridges (in these past three years)

damnit i can't get that song out of my head no matter how hard i try...

well i pretty much have nothign else really to day right now besides the fact im in my boxers eating an orange...