JARRED
Jarred was found by Bums floating down Perry Creek in a trash can. From then on he was known as White Trash Noah. He was adopted by Carol Burnett, and was often abused and lost repetedly in gambling ventures to business men and construction workers. This young messiah later discovered his great ability to part things (mainly womens legs and doors at supermarkets). While traveling the world, he was captured by midgets in Amsterdam and put into revolving door prison for 1,000 years. He was let free after doing "favors" for the janitor, Mr. Spock. In 1985, Jarred lost his penis in a freak factory accident, which lead to his high singing voice. It was later found by a family of seven in a can of beans. He moved to Iowa with a man he met in prison, Lynn and they started the band CRAP.........Jarred is a Taurus, TURN ONS--- women with long black hair who have the mentality to use an easy bake oven, and feed him pot brownies from the womb of the piping hot 70 watt oven. He also enjoys playing with barbie dolls and ferbies.
JOBE
Jobe Love was born and raised in Minnesota during the late 1700's, her fater was a hunter and trapped who had a fatal addiction to crack and cheap porn. This lead to Jobe's love of midget porn. Deformed in a horrid gypsy wagon accident, Jobe can dislocate every joint in her body (she is single guys). She was later recuited by the illuminatie, and sent to control the jewish populations of Northern Africa, where she fell in love with a wax statue of Franklin Rosevelt. While scuba diving off the shores of Florida, she gave birth to a green skinned child, whom she named Laura. Her daughter later killed her ex boyfriend at age 17, which angered Jobe. Jobe later disowned her child when she became a republican loving freak and married a horrid man, the village idoit, george. She later joined CRAP to take out her aggression at her evil deformed son in law..........TURN ONS----- Jobe loves lots of back hair and men who are addicted to Sci-fi. She loves dates where she is taken to star treak conventions and wishes to marry a moonie.