Symptoms include: constant spinning of flags, pencils, brooms, etc. When none of the above are available, patients will air flag old routines. It is also common for them to make up random routines to music that comes on the radio. Most patients experience terrible withdrawl symptoms when no object can be found to spin, in which case they will be a danger to themselves and others.

Cures: A few have tried to break loved ones of the habit by locking them in a room with only a stick covered in spikes. The theory being of course that the pain would motivate the patient to cease spinning. So far, this has proven uneffective seeing as guard members are accustomed to grueling pain.

Equipmentizrealophrenia: A disease of the brain which causes patients to believe their guard equipment are real living things.

Symptoms include: Naming, carefully cradling, or petting equipment. People with this disorder tend to be very defensive when anyone wants to touch or hold their flag, rifle, sabre, etc. They are also known to sometimes have conversations with the equiment, such as giving them pep-talks before performances or the like.

Cure: There is no noted cure as of yet. A select few specialists recommend taking a break from guard, although this cannot be proven effective as no colorguard members will agree to the test.

Empty Hand Syndrome: (EHS) Very similar to ENS (Empty Nest Syndrome), only patients aren't upset about leaving home, they're sorrowful for leaving guard. Most of the people effected are high school or college seniors, although some underclassmen are only mourning the upcoming off-season.

Symptoms include: Crying, mild depression, and requesting extra practices so they will have an excuse to stay longer and spin. Some patients also start to develop extreme attachments to their equipment, causing them to experience the beginning stages of Equipmentizrealophrenia. This is caused by the realization that their future months or years will be guardless.

Cure: Constant support. Make sufferers feel appreciated and loved, and help them to realize that they'll have plenty of time for guard when they return as the instructor/coach.

Percussionluvitis-(PLI) A disease where guard members (Girls in particular) become love struck over those hot perccusion members. (We hate em, yet we love em....)

Symptoms include: Constant drooling, the inabilty to concentrate, and the uncontrollable desire to date a percussion member or fantasies about such.

Cure: Having a same-sex gaurd and percussion works on a rare basis. However, this is not highly recommended because it has been found that guard members will just find another section in the band to drool over. Some even become desperate enough to date OUTSIDE of the band. (Scary, I know...) --(submitted by: Raye)