8-2-03 8:23 AM : Been up for about 2 hours. Forgot how much fun saturday morning cartoons are. Stomach still hurts, think i'm getting the plauge again. Should be easy to fight off though, as easy as it was when Chris was moving. But that was Travis' fault not random plauge fault. Discoved that red bull makes a good center piece on my desk even if its on both sides. It gives you wings you know. *Sprouts wings out the ass* Ouch. Gonna get a gameshark for GBA... yeah i gotta cheat. I just dont feel like starting a whole new game on Golden Sun or Pokemon Sapphire just cuz i missed a thing in each. How the hell was i supposed to know there was a master ball in a freaking cave? DO I LOOK LIKE THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT WOULD EXPECT THAT KIND OF THING TO YOU?! DO I?!?! This journel idea is cool, not like anybodys gonna read it but my friends, which is me, and probalby Sis just for some sick fetish like pleasure of bothering me about stuff i write that she doesn't understand. Still can't believe i saw Tara in Vons. Damn she is hot.
8-2-03 1:11 PM : Random entry just cuz its 1:11. Just wanted to say that i was completely correct, Sis was the one to read it. Sadly though she understood it all. How was i supposed to know that she knows i have a mad crush on Tara and when i saw her in Vons felt like forcefully taking her to the greeting isle then having my way totally and completely with her. However i'm not that type person. "The house was gone, but the piano lingers on, and so does the fire that burned it to the ground" I think Kris was high when he wrote that. How does a piano survive a fire? Much less, how does the fire rage to this day? And another question about that song, why the hell does he call THAT fast times at drop out high and not So Long Astoria? If he put SLA's chourus in Fast Times but took the speach finale out of SLA and put it in FT then it would work better. Courtney Day is mad hotTara is mad hot However, on the grand scale of things, Tara > Courtney just cuz Tara signed my yearbook. My yearbook, not Shellers, not David's, MINE. ALL FUCKING MINE. MY YEARBOOK. SHAINA TOO. SHAINA IS MAD HOT TOO. But "pornstar" is also too hot to even look at me. Although she did know i played football which is always good for a smile. Thats a long story to be told a differnt time. Damn, i have a lot to say, 3 entries in less than 12 hours. Maybe someday this will be like Anne Franks Journal only the complete opposite cuz i'll be the one hunting the filth... i mean muslims (Don't worry Jews i love yall, its the Ragheads i dont like) and then people will read my journal and be like oh wow he was a really crazy person, wanting to take a chick to the greeting card isle to force entry to her private and inesccasble area... Girls are like country clubs, all you need for a membership is a lot of cash. Which i have. Yet somehow I fail in all that i try to do. I suppose i'm destined only to die, the same way that i lived, in seclusion.
8-2-03 7:34 PM : Only two hours after consuming 3 Foot long Chicken Pizziolas from subway. Most incredible subs ever. If you've not had one go get one, you can thank me later. In the past two hours i've decided that if i dont eat for a day i can concievably eat my height in bread filled with chicken and pizza like things. Isn't that crazy?
Kc Rules. Wanna see why?.
8-2-03 11:34 PM : I am going insane. Must chart last civilized feelings. 1: Tara is hot. 2. I Fucking hate Sheller. There. Now can always remember time when i was sane. I just can't do this anymore. Jen called earlier. Of course no matter what i tried shes still just a friend. I consider Tara a friend cuz she signed my yearbook but she probalby hates me. Shit why do i even try. Whats it worth?
Mistakes i've made lead to the sharpest blade
8-3-03 9:50 PM : Chris will be here in 10 minutes to take me to Elsinore. Michelle is gonna be there. Damn him. Mmmm maybe we can get chicken pizziolas on the way. But needless to say i gotta run. Wish me luck with d'lyn lol :o
8-4-03 9:00 PM: Just got back from Elsinore. Blast like no other. Travis and Michelle were there, Danielle did bottle trick :D Brian was a jackass. Had a wrastlin match with him this morning, beat the hell out of him. He called me a Jew, bet that rat bastard thought he could get away with it. Sarah cries too damn much. I think we need to bale her. She started to smile at me when i smile at her though and thats good. Emily began to like me cuz i'm taller than Brian so when i give her piggy back ride its much more fun. No d'lyn, thats a long story to be told another time. I definatly feel better cuz i DEFINATLY needed that. Looking at entry from 8-2-03 at 11:34 PM, i really needed to get away so i did. As much as i like to see danielle happy i still dont see any reason to go to disney land. Just mad crowds. Me and Chris watched last Christmas video i have from back when my mom and dad were both alive. I was such a lil rascal back then. So happy all the time. Not these days. Least the grandfather let me stay out. I'm really thinking about talking to him about staying in Elsinore for a long time. Like 3 years ;) "I guess that i'm wrong, for falling in love, but you're still the one that i'm dreaming of, i guess that its you that i want to hold onto but you're holding onto someone else" Note to self, TALK TO THAT GIRL THAT WALKED BY WINDOW so hot. Perfect face and i didn't get to see her body but that dont matter. Nice voice as far as i could tell. "Fun fun rock and roll highschool oh baby fun fun, rock rock rock rock and roll highschool"
8-4-03 10:09 PM : Everyone dl Lonestar - My front porch looking in!!!! Its a really good song. Danielles kids are just like that. And shes like that too. Cept Emily just crys when she needs to be dressed, doesn't dress herself.
8-5-03 10:04 AM : Just wokeup. Already been yelled at more by my grandmother in 10 minutes than danielle has ever yelled at me. In fact only time she got mad was when i was crying back at Sara and even then she only said no you're doing it wrong just sit her down and let her cry herself to sleep. Wow its weird to have somebody that cares o.o Well actually she might have been mad at me after the casino thing but when she foudn out i didn't go either she was prolly happy for that much. Brian got carded but im sure i wouldn't have. "We said that we would never fit in when we were really just like them does rebelion ever make a differnce?"
8-5-03 11:18 PM : Watched the pilot for "The OC" earlier tonight. It looks awesome. Can't wait to watch next weeks. Schools coming up quick and i want my diploma to say Palm Springs high or Elsinore high not walnut. If i went to elsinore wow... i could watch the kids grow up and have a mom in danelle. Lonestar song FUCKING rules if you'll excuse my language. Its just so good. I just wish it was MY family... but instead its my dream, my wish. Got ActionReplay, Legend of Goku 2 and Golden Sun today. Gonna get Golden Sun 2 after i beat this one. Doing decent at PKMon Sapphire. Its kinda boring now that i beat it without even using the codes but meh.
Interesting conversation with KC:
Kacey or KC if you perfer says:
itz part of my obssession w/ the letter "W" and my attempts to use it in every word possible
Berliner says:
use it in everyword and claimi its silent
Kacey or KC if you perfer says:
lol
Berliner says:
psee pjust plike pthis ponly pi pused p pnot pw
Shes funny. But then again i was the one being funny. Berliner, signing off.
2nd of August, 2003. Damn, that doesn't ryhme like Kris can make it ryhme. I wish i had that life. That voice, that talent... Denise (shes hot) I mean i guess that i can't change what i have but if i just had a way to i would. I'd give it all away. To be anyone else. Chris, Kevin... Kris, some dude just born named Zach thats gonna turn into some surf punk with baked brains and a hard dick that he fucks a D cup beauty with every night with no regard for his future. I wish i could live like that, not care what happens in my furture but after my past i dont want to lose anymore. But at the same time i want out. I want away from Walnut. Not just pity complaining like oh i wanna go to diamond bar (cough candeo cough) but like oh i wanna go to Seatle, or DC, or Austin, Ann Arbor, Anaheim/Newport(not that far but OC is such a dope place) hell even LA or NYC. And i'd like to travel but of course the grandparents wont let me. I'd like to have friends but the grandparents wont let me. Oh but i have money. Whats money. Paper. Not welcoming arms. Money is good for nothing! Money is SHIT! Anybody want to sell me their life? Paying 10 Mllion dollars for a life. Please send all offers to Berliner@Berlin.com Must be White male between ages of 14 and 17 willing to trade places with me. Must have family that cares for him and lots of friends and even a girl that had her eye on him. Once again send me all offers. Willing to up to 15 million if 18. And no Chris, that offer is not for you.
Decided that human race is doomed if grandmother was chosen to represent it. Brain damage doesn't mean she can pull over to cry when she drives past our street while on way to subway but forgot where she was going and thought she was lost. You try to take care of somebody like that. Shit, next thing i know she wont even know me. Which may be good. However it may get me stabbed/shot/baled so i dunno. "Nobody on the road, nobody on the beach, i feel it in the air, summers out of reach. Empty lake, empty streets, the sun goes down alone" Wow deep shit. Almost as deep as:
LP AtA rI S 1 2: if we room at pepperdine you are SO not getting a khatt.
Slave: yeah
Slave: i know
LP AtA rI S 1 2: we can get gerbils tho
LP AtA rI S 1 2: or a large fish
LP AtA rI S 1 2: get a shark or something and keep him in the bathtub name him bubba
Slave signed off at 7:42:21 PM.
Maybe he didn't like the name bubba.
LP AtA rI S 1 2: i'm wuved
KC: of course u r
KC: although ur too rich to be my type.. me still wuvs ya
LP AtA rI S 1 2: yeah i know i'm too richto be anybodys type
LP AtA rI S 1 2: too ugly to care
LP AtA rI S 1 2: and too stupid to notice
I hate my life.
To draw my own blood from within my veins
Only weak fools succumb to such pains
But fuck that, I'm what i am and a can't change. But i have to. But i can't. Shit i wish i wasn't me. I'd give this all away.
PEOPLE DONT EVER TRY TO BECOME RICH AND "SUCCESSFUL" ITS ALL LIES! OPEN WIDE FOR ALL THE SHIT THEY FEED YOU ABOUT GLORY AND HAPPINESS. LOOK AT ME. AND I'M RICHER THAN SO MANY OF YOU. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. MONEY ISN'T WORTH LONLINESS. POWER ISN'T WORTH LONLIENESS. GLORY ISN'T. PRIDE ISN'T. THE ONLY THING THAT IS WORTH LONLINESS IS DEATH. I'D RATHER DIE THAN BE ALONE ANOTHER NIGHT.
Its just too much for me. The 4th of July passed just like last year though i promised it wouldn't. But what can i change? Really.
