I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear a sign that says 'I'm stupid.' Cuz you wouldnt ask them anything, you'd just be like 'Excuse me-' and then see the sign. 'Oh, never mind!'
- I was in a phone booth. I had the phone in my hand and up to my ear. A guy walks up and taps on the glass. He says, 'You using the phone?' I said, 'Nope, I'm superman, I'm just trying to find my costume.' Here's your sign!
- I was out fishin one day, and I pulled up my boat to the dock and pulled up a big line of bass. A guy on the dock says, 'You catch all them fish?' I said, 'Nope. Talked 'em into givin up.' Here's your sign!
- There was a truck stuck under an overpass. A cop pulls up and says, 'Hey, your truck get stuck?' The trucker says, 'Nope, I was delivering this overpass when i ran out of gas.' Here's your sign!
- There was a bunch of boxes in my house and a U-Haul truck in my driveway. My friend walks up and says, 'Hey, you moving?' I said, 'Nope. We pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes.' Here's your sign!
- I was moving, and the mover came up and saw my piano covered by a white sheet. He says, 'Hey, is that your piano?' I said, 'Nope, it's my coffe table it just has buck teeth.' Here's your sign!
- I was driving down the road when my tire went flat, so I pulled into a gas station. The attendent says, 'Tire go flat?' I said, 'Nope, I was driving down the road and the other 3 just swelled right up.' He said, 'Well the heat will do that.' Here's your sign!
- There was a concrete mixer truck and a guy walks up and says, 'You pouring concrete?' The guy said, 'Nope, We're havin a BIG party and I'm makin margaritas!' Here's your sign!
- I was at the park flying my kite one day with my kids and a guy walks up and says, 'Hey, you flying a kite?' I said, 'Nope, I'm going fishing for birds.' Here's your sign!
- I was in the parking lot and I locked my keys in the car so I had a coat hanger in the window. A guy walks up and says, 'You lock your keys in the car?' I said, 'Nope, I just washed it and I'm hanging it out to dry.' Here's your sign!
- I was selling a car and a guy took it out for a test drive. When he got back, he walked around to the back of the car and grabbed the tail pipe and says, 'Ouch, that's hot!' See, if he was wearing a sign, I could have stopped him.
back to the realm