Friends
'Do you need to MICROWAVE that asprin??' -Steph
'I have some mango spread in the back seat...' -from The Story of the Mango Spread
*in an Asian accent* 'Would you like some Coke? Or Diet Coke?' -Rachel
'Please explain your point on how I'm automatically stupid because I have my own opinion.' -Natalie, webmistress of The Land of Little Rock Bands
'History is the lies historians agree upon' -krist153
'You should let me do your hair one day, I love to do breads.' -Steph
'Hey Sarah! I love you. Hey Joe! I love you. Hey John! ..... Hey John! .......*laughter*' -Allison
we dont play here at 'quiznoes cancer center for really really old ppl who fall down stairs cuz they are old and they break there bones so we bring them here and test our medicine on them and sum of them die but its ok cuz were doctors' -tyler
'It's okay honey, you'll have big titties one day!' - Pat
Sarah has a bowl of Rice Krispies and she says, 'Hey look it makes noise!' and I say, 'Yup! Crack, snapple, pop!' she laughs and says, 'Yup, a drug, a fruit drink and a soda!'
I come to find out that my friend Beau had blocked my screen name. So Sarah talks to him and says, 'Why did you block Allison?' and he says, 'I didn't.' So Sarah says,' Check your thing.' So he does, and his screen name pops up on my buddy list. He says, 'Wow, I wondered why she hadn't been online in a while.'
'Started with 'hahah', ends with 'hahah'!' - Sarah #2
'They know she's easy, why would you choose to make a four course meal when you can just have easy mac?' - XxBaggyLivesxX
Sarah and I were taking an online quiz and one of the questions was 'The color that best describes how you are feeling now is: Deep red ~ Black ~ Yellow ~ Blue ~ White'. Sarah said, 'I ALWAYS feel white!'
'Ew, I don't drink the fuzz.' -me
'It works just fine with regular finger!' -me
'Your icon is stuck on PISS!! again.' -Sarah #2
Ugly ... DAMN!' -Sarah #2 (comparing her and a guy)
'I seriously DID want some mexican in me, though...' -Sarah #2
'Krrrabie patiiee!!' -me
'Your dogs taking a shit in the street, why would I run?' -Brandon
'I wonder if those articles are real!' -Chris
'I'll always be your friend..... you know too much.' -me (talking about #2)
'Sometimes, when I fart, the bubble goes down my buttcrack and pops on my nuts.' -Joey
Famous
'The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course, it's possible there was nobody on the other line. Once she said, 'God bless you.' I said, 'I didn't sneeze.' She looked deep into my eyes and said, 'You will, eventually.' And, damn if she wasn't right. Two days later, I sneezed.' -Ellen Degeneres
'Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.' -Elbert Hubbard
'The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.' -Harlan Ellison
'If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?' -Scott Adams **That is a good question, i mean if teachers are always telling you that there is no such thing as a stupid question then what kind of questions do stupid people ask. If they arent asking a stupid question, then the only other alternative is a smart question, but if they get smart before they ask the question then wouldnt they already know the answer to the already unmentioned question, that would still be a stupid question but then the person got smart. OH my, i think i've gone cross-eyed. -Sarah #2**
'To succeed in the world, it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well mannered.' -Voltaire
'Wisdom doesnt automatically come with old age. Nothing does--except wrinkles. It's true, some wines do improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place.' -Abigail Van Buren **Remember when your dad was like, 'I am glad my 15 year old daughter knows more than i do' when you were telling him that you knew how my house really was? -Sarah #2**
'I am not young enough to know everything.' -Oscar Wilde
'Incase youre wworried about whats going to become of the younger generation, its going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.' -Roger Allen
'Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.' -George Burns
'Dont accept rides from strange men, and remember, all men are strange.' -Robin Morgan
'Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, adark side, and it holds the universe together...' -Carl Zwanzig
'It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.' -Darrin Weinberg
'Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.' -Laurie Anderson
'An intellectual is a person who has dicovered something more interesting than sex.' -Aldous Huxley
'Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.' -Francios de la Rochefoucauld
'It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it is always room temperature.' -Steven Wright
'People who have no wesknesses are terrible, there is no way of taking advantage of them.' -Antole France
'It is bad luck to be superstitious.' -Andrew W. Mathis
'F your mom!' -Don & Mike
Anonymous
'I'm not lost, I'm just temporarily displaced!'
'Life is a sexually transmitted disease.'
Others
'It's good to feel dumb!' -Ms. Lomison
'I need ya'll to be quiet, I gotta talk to the lord for a second...' -Ms. Bray